Single mothers
Expectant dad
AnoniemGuest ·
Hi,
Can someone give me info on what exactly, or as correctly as possible, I should do in my situation.
I was up to my ears super happy with the news that I was going to be a dad a few months back.
Our relationship was good but sometimes difficult, because I wasn't financially strong enough like I should have been.
The news that I was going to be a dad gave me so much courage, but it didn't last long.
Exactly 1 week later she broke up with me while I always stood ready for her but unfortunately wasn't completely honest about my financial status. That tipped the scales for her, it had nothing to do with love.
Since then she has cut off all contact with both my family, friends and myself. Nobody knows how or what is going with her and I am also completely shut out.
The only contact I have is that she throws in my face that I should write off the idea of a "warm family" and that she has thrown herself back on the market and is dating other men. While my baby is in her belly.
That's hard. Very hard. It makes me furious and then a conversation is useless because it always ends in an argument.
I acknowledge my daughter anyway and want to be the best dad and it breaks my heart that the child is going to be the victim here.
I absolutely don't know where to start where and to find out my rights. It's during Corona virus and for two months I've been eating myself up with it.
Is it true that she alone may decide the first name? Is it true that I may only visit the child on her terms during the first year. What about visits from my family? Do I have to allow that my baby will be rocked to sleep by a complete stranger when my ex is sleeping?
I have so many questions and don't know where to start first to be as well prepared as possible.
Thanks
Can someone give me info on what exactly, or as correctly as possible, I should do in my situation.
I was up to my ears super happy with the news that I was going to be a dad a few months back.
Our relationship was good but sometimes difficult, because I wasn't financially strong enough like I should have been.
The news that I was going to be a dad gave me so much courage, but it didn't last long.
Exactly 1 week later she broke up with me while I always stood ready for her but unfortunately wasn't completely honest about my financial status. That tipped the scales for her, it had nothing to do with love.
Since then she has cut off all contact with both my family, friends and myself. Nobody knows how or what is going with her and I am also completely shut out.
The only contact I have is that she throws in my face that I should write off the idea of a "warm family" and that she has thrown herself back on the market and is dating other men. While my baby is in her belly.
That's hard. Very hard. It makes me furious and then a conversation is useless because it always ends in an argument.
I acknowledge my daughter anyway and want to be the best dad and it breaks my heart that the child is going to be the victim here.
I absolutely don't know where to start where and to find out my rights. It's during Corona virus and for two months I've been eating myself up with it.
Is it true that she alone may decide the first name? Is it true that I may only visit the child on her terms during the first year. What about visits from my family? Do I have to allow that my baby will be rocked to sleep by a complete stranger when my ex is sleeping?
I have so many questions and don't know where to start first to be as well prepared as possible.
Thanks
Replies
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sg92 #2
Heads up! When you apply for recognition, you are not yet the legal representative of your child as an unmarried father. For that, you first need to apply for parental authority. This can only be done after the birth. The application for parental authority goes through the court and you can submit it online via the Digital Counter of the Judiciary at ( https://loket.rechtspraak.nl/burgers/famliezaken/32 ). For this, you use the form 'Apply for joint parental authority'. -
Liesbeth #3
Oh no!
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Anoniem started this #4
Hi,
The one link you gave me leads to a deleted page.
P.S. Some people might think, well, he has his parents for those questions. I do, but since they don't live in Spain, they can only help from afar. As I said, they can't do much more anyway.
They're also completely drained.
Is it sad? Yes. I think so too.
And I'm fine with her finding new love; everyone wants love, but she could have waited a bit and put the child first. It's quite disrespectful, towards me and the child. -
Lijn #5
You could ask for information at the legal help desk. The first consultation is often free. That way, you'll know how to proceed. But as long as you don't have custody/partial guardianship, I think she can indeed decide everything. -
Elle Guest #6
As a single mom (my ex left when I was 4 months pregnant), I know you have more rights than you think. As far as I know, the mother indeed has the right to decide the name. You can request joint custody as soon as you acknowledge the child. The mother does need to give her consent though. If she doesn't, you can go to court. In most cases (unless you're, for example, into drugs or have a criminal record), the judge will grant this. Once you acknowledge your child, you have visitation rights. You can arrange the visitation schedule yourselves. If that doesn't work, you can go to a mediator or to court. In the beginning, you'll have more frequent but shorter contact moments; don't expect a 50/50 split. Unfortunately, you can't prevent a new partner from also caring for your child. My advice: make sure you arrange the acknowledgment as soon as possible.
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