Telling about pregnancy difficult situation

Yeah, it's really tough and I understand it can hurt others, but it's just unfairly distributed in the world, and you didn't choose for it to work out for you and not for a friend/sister/family member. I have one friend myself who really wants children, but her boyfriend didn't (he had never told her, he had strung her along for a long time and suddenly the truth came out), so they broke up after years. I was 8 weeks pregnant at that time, and when it came time to tell her, I sent her a message first, not because I wanted to be impersonal, but because I wanted to give her the peace and space to process the news on her own. I also told her that I found it difficult and that's why I chose to do it this way. She said she found that very nice. Maybe you could do something similar. Or a card or an email. I just thought it was important not to put her in a position where I had to act super enthusiastic while she wasn't feeling that way. It also felt a bit unfair to me that it was granted to me and not to her. You almost feel a bit ashamed. Ultimately, you wish everyone the chance to become a mother someday if they really want to. And that's what it's about.

It’s actually nice that you share the news early before everyone else already knows... Then you give them time to process the news. Of course, you can mention to them that it’s hard for you to tell them because they’re involuntarily childless.

Tell them as soon as possible. I've been trying to get pregnant for 2 years myself, and I'd appreciate it if people who know tell them right away.

I don't know how close friends they are. I also have two couples going through a tough time. One couple was on a medical journey at the same time as me. But I didn't dare to tell them at first until I knew if it worked out with my friends. In the end, they were really happy for me and didn't mind. I talked to the other couple and explained everything. They also found it very nice to hear it from me and to have time to process it themselves.

I myself lost a baby while almost the entire friend group got pregnant one after another. I only told them much later, and it was quite difficult for some. I would have liked people not to exclude me from pregnancy announcements back then to avoid hurting me. They also understood better why I couldn't handle visiting newborns.

When I lost my son at 34 weeks pregnant, people also avoided me. I found that even harder. It was as if they wanted to share nothing more of their pregnancy with me, to avoid getting 'contaminated' or something. We also have a couple of friends who started trying to conceive 3 years before us. Meanwhile, I have one daughter, 3.5 years old, a stillborn son, and I'm again almost 33 weeks pregnant with a third child. I always informed them first. All three times, they started crying. They know I'm open about it. I understand their feelings. You wish it for someone else, but especially for yourself after all those years. But don't just shut them out. Because then they're punished twice.