2nd baby

Hi everyone.

I'm a bit torn. I became a mom this year. Something I've wanted for a very long time. Now I really want another baby. But well, I'm single. I don't really want too much time between kids because I still have a big desire for more children and I'm already late 30s. Plus, I have PCOS, so it might take a bit longer.

But now I'm doubting... Should I start now, say early this year? That means if it works out right away, there'll be just under 2 years between them. Or should I wait until mid-next year and hope for a summer baby in 2020, so there'll be about 2.5 years between them?

The biggest doubt is... Should I even start? Because with one, I still have to ask for babysitting quite often, and I find that pretty hard to ask for. Grandpa/grandma are crazy about their grandchild. But with two, it's just a lot more you'd have to ask from others. And it's pretty exhausting working with a baby anyway. I'd also have to change jobs because with one kid, the ASR (parenting leave) is really hard to manage with the commute etc.

Sigh... I want it so badly... But there are so many considerations that maybe I shouldn't do it after all.