Forum 1st trimester

My friend wants to tell me sooner than I do.

4 replies

StephGuest ·
Hi everyone,
I hope you can help me. I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant now, and my boyfriend has already told 2 colleagues, his boss, and his best friend that he's going to be a dad in January. Now he wants to tell our parents, in-laws, sister, and brother soon too. His parents are going on vacation from June 8 to July 2, and he doesn't want to wait until they're back. He's also refusing to tell them from afar. This is my first pregnancy, and I'd rather wait for more certainty and the first ultrasound before telling anyone. I don't want to celebrate an emotional happy moment only to find out later that something went wrong, so I want to wait for the first ultrasound, which is on June 19. (Also, I don't want any inequality between his family and mine, so telling his family earlier than mine is not an option for me.) How can I make him understand that I want to be cautious and not celebrate too early?

Replies

  1. sweet #2

    Uhm, tricky. I got pregnant for the first time in June and we told his parents, brothers and sister right away, and also my dad, sister and grandma. At 8 weeks, after a good scan, I told two friends too. At 10 weeks, unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. But I was so grateful for all the support I received.
    In March, pregnant again. This time, told no one. And it went wrong again. At 6 weeks. I told my sister and her boyfriend afterwards. I found this harder. I would have preferred if they knew I was pregnant, instead of finding out afterwards when my brother-in-law cautiously asked if we were daring to try again.
    Then immediately pregnant again. My in-laws know, my sister and her boyfriend, and two friends. One of those friends is due on 27-12 and I'm on 28-12, so that's special too.
    You should do what feels right. And of course, it goes right more often than wrong. But I've chosen to tell a few people now, because I didn't like it with the second pregnancy. I was sad, but no one knew I was pregnant..

  2. Mandy Guest #3

    But if you're going to tell people, I'd at least tell both sets of parents first. Because it's bound to come out anyway if some know and others don't. And it's not exactly nice for your parents to hear it via someone else, obviously.

    I also don't think it's very tactful of your boyfriend to tell others already. But sometimes you just want to share that you're happy, so I get why he told his best friend. As long as he keeps his mouth shut until you announce it yourselves, that seems fine to me.

    I personally waited until the first ultrasound (7 weeks) or even longer to tell my parents. And until 12 weeks with the rest of the family and friends. I did tell a good friend because she could already see it.

  3. Steph started this #4

    Thanks for your stories! I've come up with a solution: an earlier ultrasound. We'd have to pay for that ourselves, but it could be two days before his parents go on vacation

  4. Mandy Guest #5

    Good solution. By the way, our midwife usually does an ultrasound at 7 weeks as part of the initial intake.

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