1st trimester
My partner really doesn't want this baby, but I do. What now???
Tested yesterday and turns out I'm pregnant. We've been together for 10 years and have two boys. It always took us a long time to get pregnant. This time I stopped the pill on October 8th because I wanted to get all the hormones out of my body and told my boyfriend about it. Despite that, he had unprotected sex with me because he didn't think it would happen so quickly. But it did, and he's not happy at all about it. He wants me to have an abortion, but I don't want to.
No idea what I should do now? Anyone with the same experience?
Greetings
Replies
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Hartje #2
Hi, what a tough situation you're in! I don't have any experience myself, but I'd advise you not to do anything against your own wishes. You're still here, after all. Try to let the initial emotions settle down a bit, then talk it through with each other, maybe with some help from someone in your circle? Strength, girl, and despite everything, congratulations on your pregnancy!
Greetings -
Hartje #3
Maybe you could also ask a bit more why your friend doesn't want to, sometimes it's just small things that you can solve together! Men and women think so differently after all! -
Stef #4
Hi Michelle, tough situation, huh... You need to be 100% behind it if you're going to go through with it. Otherwise, you just CAN'T do it. Is there a chance he might come around? I truly hope so from the bottom of my heart. Good luck, Michelle...
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Raisa #5
I'd let it sink in for a bit... and let's be honest, he chose to have unsafe sex himself.
You should definitely talk a lot with each other about how and why... maybe you'll figure it out after all. -
Michelle started this #6
According to him, I should just choose between him and the baby. So unfair, he had unsafe sex with me too, and now he's leaving me to deal with it if he really goes through with this.
I'm torn. -
Hartje #7
Michelle, you found out yesterday, and you're both completely overwhelmed. Give it some time. I think it's too early to have to make such a choice right now! You've been together for 10 years, you'll definitely get through this. You know each other so well and have been through so much together! -
Stef #8
I agree with hartje... she's right. Let it settle for a bit...
My sister has 5 children... and with the last one, her husband said he was going to crash into a tree. Now he's his little darling and it's been 13 years.
Lots of love -
Raisa #9
And if he doesn't pull through... then you'll have to make a tough choice, whichever way you go. Although it's selfish of him, since you both know it's unsafe there. -
Hartje #10
I still can't believe that a gift like a baby is the end of a 10-year relationship... I really hope you guys work it out! -
Stef #11
@Michelle, how are things with you now? Greetings -
Michelle started this #12
It's going a bit better. With a lot of reluctance on his part, we decided to keep it, as long as it's just one baby and not twins or more. (I've been pregnant with twins before.)
He doesn't talk about it at all and doesn't want to talk about it either. He also doesn't want to come along to the first ultrasound, so I'm still kind of alone in this, even though we decided together to keep it.
I hope he comes around soon.
Unfortunately, I didn't get a nice reaction from my dad either.
Greetings -
Hartje #13
A small step in the right direction? It's a shame, people around you are so important, right. Hopefully, your husband will gradually develop a bond with his baby during the pregnancy, and let's hope for the baby that he doesn't have a brother or sister in his belly! -
Sander Guest #14
I totally get your situation. I was shocked too when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant earlier this year. I didn't want that at all. But just like you, I chose to have unprotected sex knowing she wasn't on the pill.
Now that the baby is here, I'm really happy with it (and even after I got over the initial shock a few weeks later).
I never asked her to have an abortion. I never forced her to choose between me and the baby, and I just took responsibility. I was at (almost) all the ultrasounds (especially the important ones).
I think your friend comes across as very selfish in this situation. He needs to pull himself together and show he's a man by taking care of you both and thinking more about you now. No more of that weak stuff...
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