Pregnant and working
Guilt feelings when I don't work
lili
Hi everyone! I’d love to hear if there are others in my situation and what you all think. I also just really need to get this off my chest.
I work 40 hours a week and spend 1 hour 30 minutes commuting daily, which means I’m away from home for 11 hours, 5 days a week. My husband works two jobs, so most of the household chores fall on me, and I can’t rely on family to help.
Early in my pregnancy, I was off for 4 weeks because I was so nauseous and tired. I lost 5 kg. After that, I had a few good weeks, only being home for 3 days in total. But now I’m 26 weeks pregnant, and the exhaustion has hit again. I still weigh no more than I did before my pregnancy, and I sometimes lose 2 kg and then gain it back again. So maybe not much reserve? Last week, it got to the point where I started crying spontaneously at work out of frustration because I just wanted to rest (my colleagues didn’t see this). I went to the doctor and stayed home for 2 days. Then I went back to work for 2 days, but I was already exhausted again, and my husband and the doctor convinced me to stay home.
So now I’m on sick leave for 2 days, and then my maternity leave starts for 3 weeks. When I called in sick, my boss said, “You don’t do heavy work anyway…” (I work in metalwork and am the only woman at work). So I feel quite misunderstood and incredibly guilty about not working so close to my leave. The guilt is completely overwhelming me, and I don’t know how to deal with it.
Sorry for the long post, but it feels good to share
I work 40 hours a week and spend 1 hour 30 minutes commuting daily, which means I’m away from home for 11 hours, 5 days a week. My husband works two jobs, so most of the household chores fall on me, and I can’t rely on family to help.
Early in my pregnancy, I was off for 4 weeks because I was so nauseous and tired. I lost 5 kg. After that, I had a few good weeks, only being home for 3 days in total. But now I’m 26 weeks pregnant, and the exhaustion has hit again. I still weigh no more than I did before my pregnancy, and I sometimes lose 2 kg and then gain it back again. So maybe not much reserve? Last week, it got to the point where I started crying spontaneously at work out of frustration because I just wanted to rest (my colleagues didn’t see this). I went to the doctor and stayed home for 2 days. Then I went back to work for 2 days, but I was already exhausted again, and my husband and the doctor convinced me to stay home.
So now I’m on sick leave for 2 days, and then my maternity leave starts for 3 weeks. When I called in sick, my boss said, “You don’t do heavy work anyway…” (I work in metalwork and am the only woman at work). So I feel quite misunderstood and incredibly guilty about not working so close to my leave. The guilt is completely overwhelming me, and I don’t know how to deal with it.
Sorry for the long post, but it feels good to share
Replies
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skullie #2
If you find it too much and your body gets too heavy, just stop working! Don't let what others say or think bother you. Your baby's health and yours come first! In my previous two pregnancies, I also pushed myself to the limit. The result was premature contractions and a risk of early birth. With my oldest, I even ended up with postpartum depression. I was already exhausted before the birth. Now, since July 1st, I've been working half-days due to pelvic instability and heavy work. The moment I feel like I can't handle it anymore, I'll go on sick leave. I'm not taking any risks anymore. -
Hummeltje #3
You can't be good for everyone. I assume you realize that this isn't good for you and, therefore, not for your baby either! Do you have a permanent contract? Then they can't do anything to you! And if not, I assume your baby is worth more to you than your job! It sounds harsh, but you need to choose yourself, and you don't have to feel guilty at all. The world will keep turning without you. But your baby won't function without you, and apparently, your boss isn't thinking about that! Take it easy, use your sick leave—you have the right to do so, and you should take advantage of it if you need to. Lots of strength for the rest.
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