2nd trimester
Full of emotions...
vlannetje
Wow, I’m so different during this pregnancy.
My assertiveness has gone from level 1 to level 12... I often find myself standing on the balls of my toes right away.
Right now, I’ve pretty much had it at work. I work at the reception desk, but I feel so unhappy in my job. Instead of a burnout, I fear I’m experiencing a boreout. Because of my pregnancy, I’ve let certain promotions slip by. I’m completely not in the right mindset. Just before I found out I was pregnant, I was allowed to apply for a better job, closer to home, with better conditions. Because of the pregnancy, I excused myself from the invitation without any real reason. It didn’t leave a positive impression regarding my emotional stability.
I’m so angry at my boss. I asked him two months ago to put me on a time-out (in Belgium) using the parental leave I still had left from my youngest son. But I had to take it before April 27th this year because the age limit would be reached.
My boss had more than two months to find a replacement for me... He supposedly had multiple candidates and my leave would be approved.
I was over the moon and so happy. Finally, I could make plans to enjoy my pregnancy in full peace and intensity. I have three other children between 16 and 11 years old. So that would have been welcome.
I looked at the vacancy on my employer’s website and almost had a stroke. What they were asking for as a profile was way above what I am... I earned my position after years of building experience.
I had to go on mandatory rest for a week from my doctor because I already had hard contractions in the early stages and felt completely worked up. And during that sick leave period, I got the relieving news that a solution had been found.
Two days before my successor was supposed to come to train with me, he supposedly backed out. What I had to hear, not from my boss himself, but from the deputy director who told me between the lines. At work, we work long shifts, from 8 to 8 PM with basically no break in between. No moment to step back; we have to be constantly available by phone. So I work a 27.5-hour week. I get grumpier as the hours tick by... which frustrates me even more because I’ve always been the friendly, calm, understanding, patient receptionist :-) ...
The successor, a young guy, can’t handle this system because of his current family situation. While I should be able to, almost 26 weeks pregnant...
So my leave wasn’t officially approved on paper yet... I was over the moon and angry. Very angry and disappointed. I wanted to give my employer a nice alternative for health and emotional reasons, to remove myself from the company temporarily, without hurting their financial turnover by taking parental leave.
I sent a disappointed email to my boss stating my request to cancel the parental leave.
But I’m not stopping here... says my inner voice. These feelings are not good for my unborn child, nor for my work schedule, which apparently can’t be adjusted.
If I go to my doctor, would they understand?
Am I reacting too harshly?
My assertiveness has gone from level 1 to level 12... I often find myself standing on the balls of my toes right away.
Right now, I’ve pretty much had it at work. I work at the reception desk, but I feel so unhappy in my job. Instead of a burnout, I fear I’m experiencing a boreout. Because of my pregnancy, I’ve let certain promotions slip by. I’m completely not in the right mindset. Just before I found out I was pregnant, I was allowed to apply for a better job, closer to home, with better conditions. Because of the pregnancy, I excused myself from the invitation without any real reason. It didn’t leave a positive impression regarding my emotional stability.
I’m so angry at my boss. I asked him two months ago to put me on a time-out (in Belgium) using the parental leave I still had left from my youngest son. But I had to take it before April 27th this year because the age limit would be reached.
My boss had more than two months to find a replacement for me... He supposedly had multiple candidates and my leave would be approved.
I was over the moon and so happy. Finally, I could make plans to enjoy my pregnancy in full peace and intensity. I have three other children between 16 and 11 years old. So that would have been welcome.
I looked at the vacancy on my employer’s website and almost had a stroke. What they were asking for as a profile was way above what I am... I earned my position after years of building experience.
I had to go on mandatory rest for a week from my doctor because I already had hard contractions in the early stages and felt completely worked up. And during that sick leave period, I got the relieving news that a solution had been found.
Two days before my successor was supposed to come to train with me, he supposedly backed out. What I had to hear, not from my boss himself, but from the deputy director who told me between the lines. At work, we work long shifts, from 8 to 8 PM with basically no break in between. No moment to step back; we have to be constantly available by phone. So I work a 27.5-hour week. I get grumpier as the hours tick by... which frustrates me even more because I’ve always been the friendly, calm, understanding, patient receptionist :-) ...
The successor, a young guy, can’t handle this system because of his current family situation. While I should be able to, almost 26 weeks pregnant...
So my leave wasn’t officially approved on paper yet... I was over the moon and angry. Very angry and disappointed. I wanted to give my employer a nice alternative for health and emotional reasons, to remove myself from the company temporarily, without hurting their financial turnover by taking parental leave.
I sent a disappointed email to my boss stating my request to cancel the parental leave.
But I’m not stopping here... says my inner voice. These feelings are not good for my unborn child, nor for my work schedule, which apparently can’t be adjusted.
If I go to my doctor, would they understand?
Am I reacting too harshly?
Replies
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Fieke Guest #2
Hi there!
I can't really help you with this, as I'm now pregnant with my 4th child and have never taken parental leave yet. I do plan to after the birth.
I just want to wish you strength, because while I was reading this, my disbelief grew. Your trust in your employer must have seriously dropped; you waited until the last moment to take it so you'd give them every chance, and now this...
I'd be furious, but mostly disappointed.
Has he replied yet? You're entitled to it anyway, and it's their problem to sort out.
Best wishes -
vlannetje started this #3
Hi Fieke, congratulations on your pregnancy and your growing little family!
Today I really pushed myself to the limit. A month ago, when I thought this would be my last day at work, they asked me to organize an activity for our residents.
I agreed back then, with all goodwill. When they asked me that question, I already had a feeling that they didn’t realize how it feels to be pregnant and do hard physical work.
Be careful, I always tell people that I’m not disabled and don’t want to take advantage of my condition. But I definitely notice that I need to take things a bit more calmly. After this activity, I can barely feel my back anymore—I’m completely exhausted.
One good thing is that my babies are a bit bigger now - ;-) - and I have a lot of support from my soon-to-be husband (15/05/17).
I did the activity because I didn’t want to disappoint our residents, and many had signed up. I work with older people, which can also be quite exhausting. Plus, there’s a nasty stomach bug going around the house. Even though I’m an administrative worker, the feeling of helping these people is stronger than letting them struggle. And because of that, I sometimes go too far. I’ve lifted some elderly people several times, and everything that comes with it. I’m so scared of catching something.
And just now I heard that our neighbor gave birth last night at 33 weeks... which worries me even more. Even though it’s my fourth pregnancy, and I’ve had some experience. I’m 12 years older and a few kilos heavier than during my last pregnancy. I feel it.
Actually, I think I was already mentally winding down at work, which makes it so much harder for me to commit now...
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