1st trimester
Pregnancy hormones and arguments
ClaraGuest ·
Hey everyone, I'm now in my 11th week of my first pregnancy.
I've only had a few days behind me where I was suddenly terribly tired and didn't know what to do with myself.
I don't work anymore and try to keep the house clean every day. I do the dishes at least twice a day, tidy up my husband's daily mess at the start: with an empty coffee cup, a plate with food leftovers on the table, drinks back in the fridge, dirty laundry in the laundry basket instead of next to or on it, make the bed, etc. We've only been living together for a year and after all this time I still have to tell him repeatedly to hang up his towel, not to walk around with shoes or wet feet if the floor has just been mopped, to clear his plate and not to leave his trash lying around. I'm even more annoyed by this now than before.
What does a man not understand that if you ask him once and he would do it, it's not nice for us to have to ask a 2nd or 10th time, let alone for him because then we're back at arguing. I think I know that my hormones bring out the drama from all those small things, but my husband doesn't understand that...
He says that I'm exaggerating and 'will it be like this the whole pregnancy and then back to normal?!' Some comments on my comments frustrate and sadden me so much.
My husband doesn't like reading, thinks he knows everything better, and when he's angry he likes to throw something even more to break it, then go outside.
How can he now understand how it comes that I feel and behave this way. How should I stay so calm if he doesn't accept it from me, from whom then? I want him to understand.
Tips? Tips for me maybe too?
Love
I've only had a few days behind me where I was suddenly terribly tired and didn't know what to do with myself.
I don't work anymore and try to keep the house clean every day. I do the dishes at least twice a day, tidy up my husband's daily mess at the start: with an empty coffee cup, a plate with food leftovers on the table, drinks back in the fridge, dirty laundry in the laundry basket instead of next to or on it, make the bed, etc. We've only been living together for a year and after all this time I still have to tell him repeatedly to hang up his towel, not to walk around with shoes or wet feet if the floor has just been mopped, to clear his plate and not to leave his trash lying around. I'm even more annoyed by this now than before.
What does a man not understand that if you ask him once and he would do it, it's not nice for us to have to ask a 2nd or 10th time, let alone for him because then we're back at arguing. I think I know that my hormones bring out the drama from all those small things, but my husband doesn't understand that...
He says that I'm exaggerating and 'will it be like this the whole pregnancy and then back to normal?!' Some comments on my comments frustrate and sadden me so much.
My husband doesn't like reading, thinks he knows everything better, and when he's angry he likes to throw something even more to break it, then go outside.
How can he now understand how it comes that I feel and behave this way. How should I stay so calm if he doesn't accept it from me, from whom then? I want him to understand.
Tips? Tips for me maybe too?
Love
Replies
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Ysabel #2
Your man loves reading? Nice! Give him the book 'Help, I got my wife pregnant'. Maybe then he'll better understand how pregnancy hormones work.
And if he loves reading so much, he should really take the time to read up on it. My boyfriend did that and now he helps me with the housework and mostly doesn't argue when my hormones are acting up. He wisely says, 'I'm doing ostrich politics' - book, help I got my wife pregnant. -
Of course, I sometimes also get sudden mood swings. I feel them coming, and because I'm aware of it, there's hardly any discussion. I wisely keep my mouth shut and walk away calmly. I literally ask myself every time, when I feel frustrated, whether it's justified, yes or no. And especially whether I would react the same way without those hormones. It helps me surprisingly enough.
Annoying, right, that fatigue? It hits me all the time, it drives me crazy, and then the nausea on top of it is the real prize. Your man sounds like a real man, leaving everything lying around and especially not cleaning up anything himself. I don't have that problem here, but I see it constantly in my surroundings. That's very disturbing on top of the extra hormones anyway. -
Knuffel #3
Hahaha Clara, not funny at all right now, but it sounds so familiar. We've been together for quite a few years now, and nothing ever changes.
I've learned to just leave the mess as it is. And really... Then the penny drops after a few days. Just do the laundry that's IN the laundry basket.. And if he asks where his clean underwear is? Then you just ask if it was in the laundry basket!
Hehe then it goes well for a while, and then it fades again.. But then you just start over. I laugh about it now.
And those grumpy moods... I think I'm entitled to them right now. It probably won't last 9 months.
Good luck! -
floydi #4
Hi hi, for me it really helps to have honest conversations with each other, asking for help instead of blaming. Sometimes it's tough, but I try to start with myself. Also, we've known for 3 days now that I'm pregnant, and my partner treats me like a goddess haha. I don't have to lift a finger anymore. Let's keep it like this. Try to focus on the good things too.
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