Forum 1st trimester

How do I tell them?

4 replies

Janne
Good afternoon everyone, I tested positive this morning. The thing is, it’s unplanned and my husband clearly doesn’t want any more kids. This would be the fourth, so it’s pretty weird that it’s not just me who’s upset. Abortion is absolutely not an option for me.

I’m quite scared to tell him, and I don’t know when either. I was thinking of Friday because we both have a lot of work this week, and I don’t want to just blurt it out casually between nose and lips, you know? On the other hand, maybe it’ll feel too long for me to carry this alone all week. Should I just tell him outright, or would you guys try to make something nice out of it despite everything? I’m quite worried, tips and advice are very welcome.

Replies

  1. Fiep Guest #2

    hey janne
    first of all, congratulations on your pregnancy, even though it was unplanned. I’d just tell him with pure joy so he can’t react angrily, and after all, you two really did this together. Tell him you don’t want an abortion because you know you can give this child so much love! I hope it turns out way better than you fear! Wishing you all the best

    Love

    ps let me know how it went, I’m secretly curious anyway

  2. julie87 Guest #3

    Hi Janne,

    My sister went through the exact same thing. She just told her partner she felt pregnant, and when she took a test just to be sure, it was positive. He was pretty shocked... and his first reaction was to get rid of it.
    In the end, they let the idea sink in for a few days and made an evening just for the two of them to discuss everything. They eventually decided that they were actually happy about the 4th baby, even though it was a big surprise and means some adjustments.

    I'd just be honest with him, because otherwise you'll seem distant all week, which only creates more tension. Keep in mind that it might be quite confronting for your husband at first, and he'll need some time to get used to the idea, but talk it through with him. And even if things blow up, just cool down for a bit, and everything will settle back down.

    Whatever decision you make, as long as you make it together and both fully support it, it's the right decision.

    Good luck!

  3. Anonymous Guest #4

    And?? I'm curious how you told them and what their reaction was.

  4. Janne started this #5

    A bit of both?

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