Health
Who can help me.. what should I do?
AnonymousGuest ·
Hi ladies,
I apologize in advance because this is going to be a long story. I'm not quite sure what to do right now, which is why I'm posting here to get it all off my chest. Where else is better than a forum?
I don't know where to start, but I'll just begin somewhere:
I recovered from a pretty severe depression a year ago. It took me two years, and I got the necessary help for it. Fortunately, I was declared "healthy" a year ago, and life started looking much brighter again! I started exercising, lost some weight, felt better in my own skin, and moved from sickness benefits to a job! It took me a lot of effort and strength to find a job (I think I applied every day for 5 months), but the perseverer won!
Then it started. I had a nice job, and at first, I went to work every day with a lot of pleasure, but after about 2.5 months, that became less and less. This was because the work atmosphere became worse every day. People were treated unfairly, even insulted, bathroom breaks were deducted from the normal break time, they had no understanding, etc. But all in all, I was incredibly happy that I had a job! Because I know how much effort it took me to find that job.
About 3 months after starting work, my boyfriend and I moved in together. We had done a house swap, and this had brought a lot of stress. Everything had to be done in one day, we had to move in one day, people canceled at the last minute, the house we ended up in wasn't left as agreed, and so on. On top of that, on the day we were supposed to sign the rental contract, we were told we would have to pay 150€ more rent than the woman we were swapping with. We knew it could go up a bit, but this high was really a blow. Refusal wasn't an option for us; we were already completely moved, and that had cost us a lot of effort.
We got over this too and started doing repairs. While painting, the wallpaper came loose in the entire house (3 floors), and we had to strip the wallpaper. At one point, we lived in a large concrete house full of holes and cracks. And because the house was basically uninhabitable, we lived in a ruin and out of boxes for 4 weeks. From then on, things got a little bit better every day (today is 14 weeks later, and it's still not finished. But okay)..
All of this together caused me to have health problems: I barely slept anymore, had no concentration, suffered from palpitations and anxiety attacks. On top of that, I had headaches every day and felt incredibly suffocated.
When I went to the doctor, he referred me to a practice-supporting psychologist, who determined that I was burnt out and needed 2 to 4 weeks of rest and to do certain exercises, so I ended up back on sickness benefits.
My employer let me know during these weeks that they wouldn't be continuing with me (I worked through an agency and had a 0-hour contract). This also came as a huge blow to me because I was very happy with the job, and I couldn't really process this news, but I just accepted it.. It was what it was...
During these 2 to 4 weeks that I had to rest and was on sickness benefits, my boyfriend and I found out that I'm pregnant! Very welcome, of course!!! Although it wasn't the ideal timing and living situation.. but we would make changes soon!! All for our little one, of course.
Unfortunately, the complaints that got me back on sickness benefits are still present, which could also be due to the pregnancy, and on top of that, I have a lot of pregnancy symptoms! The first 12 weeks of the pregnancy were nerve-wracking, because I regularly have bleeding with abdominal pain...
But fortunately, the baby is doing well, I'm now 16 weeks! So I'm very happy that the baby is doing well, but mama herself isn't doing so well..
I regularly, as I mentioned earlier (from the beginning), have bleeding and severe abdominal pain. This always comes with insomnia, a lot of pain, lots of tears, insecurity, and so on. On top of that, I struggle with stubborn headaches every day and also have bleeding hemorrhoids. All of this alongside the complaints from the aforementioned "burnout".
The midwife is now examining me more closely, and besides the normal check-ups, I have to go to the hospital more often for tests and conversations.
Furthermore, the midwife pointed out that I have a history of psychological complaints and that I might be more sensitive to depression now with the hormones. And if I feel I need extra help, I should speak up.
I've been able to experience the pregnancy so far relatively positively. Despite the setbacks with the move, sickness benefits, and losing my job. In addition, I've had a lot of financial setbacks during the 16 weeks I've been pregnant, my car broke down and I had to sell it, my boyfriend fell off the stairs and was home for a while with bruised ribs and a bruised hand. And more things have happened...
Furthermore, it's extra difficult for me because I moved from a place where I've lived my whole life to a place where I don't have friends and family nearby. And now that I don't have a car anymore, I can't just go back and forth quickly.
I've tried to "laugh off" everything from the past weeks and have stayed very positive during these 16 weeks, but after today, I just can
I apologize in advance because this is going to be a long story. I'm not quite sure what to do right now, which is why I'm posting here to get it all off my chest. Where else is better than a forum?
I don't know where to start, but I'll just begin somewhere:
I recovered from a pretty severe depression a year ago. It took me two years, and I got the necessary help for it. Fortunately, I was declared "healthy" a year ago, and life started looking much brighter again! I started exercising, lost some weight, felt better in my own skin, and moved from sickness benefits to a job! It took me a lot of effort and strength to find a job (I think I applied every day for 5 months), but the perseverer won!
Then it started. I had a nice job, and at first, I went to work every day with a lot of pleasure, but after about 2.5 months, that became less and less. This was because the work atmosphere became worse every day. People were treated unfairly, even insulted, bathroom breaks were deducted from the normal break time, they had no understanding, etc. But all in all, I was incredibly happy that I had a job! Because I know how much effort it took me to find that job.
About 3 months after starting work, my boyfriend and I moved in together. We had done a house swap, and this had brought a lot of stress. Everything had to be done in one day, we had to move in one day, people canceled at the last minute, the house we ended up in wasn't left as agreed, and so on. On top of that, on the day we were supposed to sign the rental contract, we were told we would have to pay 150€ more rent than the woman we were swapping with. We knew it could go up a bit, but this high was really a blow. Refusal wasn't an option for us; we were already completely moved, and that had cost us a lot of effort.
We got over this too and started doing repairs. While painting, the wallpaper came loose in the entire house (3 floors), and we had to strip the wallpaper. At one point, we lived in a large concrete house full of holes and cracks. And because the house was basically uninhabitable, we lived in a ruin and out of boxes for 4 weeks. From then on, things got a little bit better every day (today is 14 weeks later, and it's still not finished. But okay)..
All of this together caused me to have health problems: I barely slept anymore, had no concentration, suffered from palpitations and anxiety attacks. On top of that, I had headaches every day and felt incredibly suffocated.
When I went to the doctor, he referred me to a practice-supporting psychologist, who determined that I was burnt out and needed 2 to 4 weeks of rest and to do certain exercises, so I ended up back on sickness benefits.
My employer let me know during these weeks that they wouldn't be continuing with me (I worked through an agency and had a 0-hour contract). This also came as a huge blow to me because I was very happy with the job, and I couldn't really process this news, but I just accepted it.. It was what it was...
During these 2 to 4 weeks that I had to rest and was on sickness benefits, my boyfriend and I found out that I'm pregnant! Very welcome, of course!!! Although it wasn't the ideal timing and living situation.. but we would make changes soon!! All for our little one, of course.
Unfortunately, the complaints that got me back on sickness benefits are still present, which could also be due to the pregnancy, and on top of that, I have a lot of pregnancy symptoms! The first 12 weeks of the pregnancy were nerve-wracking, because I regularly have bleeding with abdominal pain...
But fortunately, the baby is doing well, I'm now 16 weeks! So I'm very happy that the baby is doing well, but mama herself isn't doing so well..
I regularly, as I mentioned earlier (from the beginning), have bleeding and severe abdominal pain. This always comes with insomnia, a lot of pain, lots of tears, insecurity, and so on. On top of that, I struggle with stubborn headaches every day and also have bleeding hemorrhoids. All of this alongside the complaints from the aforementioned "burnout".
The midwife is now examining me more closely, and besides the normal check-ups, I have to go to the hospital more often for tests and conversations.
Furthermore, the midwife pointed out that I have a history of psychological complaints and that I might be more sensitive to depression now with the hormones. And if I feel I need extra help, I should speak up.
I've been able to experience the pregnancy so far relatively positively. Despite the setbacks with the move, sickness benefits, and losing my job. In addition, I've had a lot of financial setbacks during the 16 weeks I've been pregnant, my car broke down and I had to sell it, my boyfriend fell off the stairs and was home for a while with bruised ribs and a bruised hand. And more things have happened...
Furthermore, it's extra difficult for me because I moved from a place where I've lived my whole life to a place where I don't have friends and family nearby. And now that I don't have a car anymore, I can't just go back and forth quickly.
I've tried to "laugh off" everything from the past weeks and have stayed very positive during these 16 weeks, but after today, I just can
Replies
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Aloly #2
That’s a heavy story, I can imagine you’re a bit overwhelmed right now.
Maybe besides applying for jobs with the mindset of “no risk, no fun,” you could give the municipality a call? Sometimes they have funds for social assistance, special hardship grants, or something similar. To help cover at least part of the costs for your child. Just so you know, I don’t really know much about that stuff, so I have no idea what your rights are in this regard. So maybe it doesn’t apply to you at all. But you could look into it, then at least you’ll know whether it’s an option or not.
Or ask for help from a food bank / the diaconate of a church denomination?
And for your complaints, it’s good to visit the GP, it’s always handy if they’re aware of the situation.
Strength to you! -
anoniem #3
Pfff, it's all so intense. I can see why you're not seeing a way out right now. I get stressed just reading about it.
So first of all, I want you to know that I feel really bad for you, and I hope your situation improves soon and you start feeling better yourself, no matter how.
I also don't agree with the UWV's decision, and I assume you don't either.
So let me give you some practical advice:
You can appeal the UWV's decision. Once you get the letter with the decision, I'd definitely do that if I were you, because if you're already struggling mentally, that alone is grounds for sickness benefits, and then you also have your pregnancy complaints on top of that.
Keep talking to your GP and midwife. Let them know how you're really doing and see if they support you regarding whether or not you can work. If they back you up, you can bring this to the UWV's attention.
Also ask them for help... not just psychologically, but also socially. Maybe they know an organization nearby that can help you financially.
As mentioned above, you might be able to get help from the food bank, or they can advise you on schemes you might qualify for, like healthcare and housing subsidies, and later on child benefit and other allowances.
They might also have advice on finding different work.
And for your baby later on: there are tons of items being given away (almost) for free on Marktplaats and Facebook. Be bold about it and post a request somewhere for baby stuff or spread the word in your area that you could use some things.
Most importantly: First, give yourself some time to rest. Cry and talk to your partner and other people who make you feel comfortable.
Take good care of yourself. Look up relaxation exercises online and spend some time each day finding that relaxation, whether it's with a good book or a warm bath.
I wish you lots of strength and wisdom. And for later, a beautiful, healthy baby.
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