From toddler to preschooler
Tantrums from a toddler
Nikki
Update:
My 4-year-old was being defiant at school. Had intense tantrums. He wouldn't listen to anyone and caused a scene at school. He got detention for 2 days in a row from his teacher and was sent out of the class. That was so unpleasant. At home he was sweet, but things went wrong at school. I was beside myself and posted my story here. 'I don't know what to do anymore' :0
I thought I'd give it a week to see. I wondered if it had something to do with the teacher or my pregnancy, or maybe something else.
But now I've found out it was my fault. When my mother visited on Saturday, my four-year-old son told her.
'I don't want to hear about the baby so often, I'm tired of it!' he said to my mother. I talk to him about the baby all day. And he was so tired of it. But he didn't have his tantrums at home, only at school. So I thought it had something to do with school or the teacher. No, it was about me.
Now I've stopped constantly telling him things about the baby. I called him when I felt kicks or to feel the super hard belly. And he did join in, he sang songs for the baby. Always asked how the baby was doing. What the baby was doing etc.
Now that I've stopped, his defiant behavior has suddenly stopped too. But he doesn't ask anything anymore and doesn't sing anymore either. I'm giving him space. In about 8 weeks he'll have a little brother and that's a big change. I can understand how he feels.
I never thought I would be the cause of his tantrums.
I wonder how it will be later when the baby arrives.
If anyone has any tips on this, I'd love to hear them.
Greetings,
Nikki
My 4-year-old was being defiant at school. Had intense tantrums. He wouldn't listen to anyone and caused a scene at school. He got detention for 2 days in a row from his teacher and was sent out of the class. That was so unpleasant. At home he was sweet, but things went wrong at school. I was beside myself and posted my story here. 'I don't know what to do anymore' :0
I thought I'd give it a week to see. I wondered if it had something to do with the teacher or my pregnancy, or maybe something else.
But now I've found out it was my fault. When my mother visited on Saturday, my four-year-old son told her.
'I don't want to hear about the baby so often, I'm tired of it!' he said to my mother. I talk to him about the baby all day. And he was so tired of it. But he didn't have his tantrums at home, only at school. So I thought it had something to do with school or the teacher. No, it was about me.
Now I've stopped constantly telling him things about the baby. I called him when I felt kicks or to feel the super hard belly. And he did join in, he sang songs for the baby. Always asked how the baby was doing. What the baby was doing etc.
Now that I've stopped, his defiant behavior has suddenly stopped too. But he doesn't ask anything anymore and doesn't sing anymore either. I'm giving him space. In about 8 weeks he'll have a little brother and that's a big change. I can understand how he feels.
I never thought I would be the cause of his tantrums.
I wonder how it will be later when the baby arrives.
If anyone has any tips on this, I'd love to hear them.
Greetings,
Nikki
Replies
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Nikki #2
Hi Madelene,
Usually, I was talking about the baby's kicks. Then he was allowed to come feel them. And he just did that. Or when we're eating something warm, I'd say, "Eat it all up, the baby is eating it all up too." There's not much more to do with the baby's room, but he also did a lot there. And he very lovingly placed a little book of his own for the baby. So that's how we kept it going throughout the day. He even came asking on his own, "What is the baby doing now?" So I thought everything was going well. Luckily, things are better now, and hopefully, they'll stay that way.
Nikki -
madelene #3
Hi Nikki, it's great that you're involving him in the pregnancy. It's super that you're letting him get used to the idea already; there are parents who skip that step.
Well, then it probably became too much for him all at once, and he felt the calm at grandma's to tell you.
But anyway, luckily you've figured it out now. Try not to focus too much on the pregnancy, but wait until your little boy brings it up himself or asks about it.
It's really sweet of your son to say "Day," so cute!
I also think he probably understands it more or less, but it's easier for him when he sees the baby.
I'd definitely take that into account. -
madelene #4
Once the baby is here, try not to see him as the oldest right away. He might seem much bigger because the baby is so tiny, but you're still small too. Don't lose sight of that he's still a toddler. Greetings, Madelene.
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