Forum Nice chat

heavy the tropical years with 2 little ones

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  1. madelene started this #21

    And I also wanted to add that it's indeed not just luxury being an au pair; there are also difficult sides and downsides, like the lack of privacy and other things I'm experiencing.
    It's really nice that there are people who look beyond just the luxury aspect.
    I also have my own problems, just like everyone else does.
    Greetings, Madelene

  2. madelene started this #22

    Oh, I just read that you were asking how much age difference there is between my girls. It's exactly 1 year and 9 months.
    Greetings, Madelene

  3. - #23

    Hey Madelene!

    My son and daughter aren't that far apart either; there's 1 year and 3 months between them. My son was six months old when I got pregnant with my daughter. I personally think it's great and not really difficult because my son was still very much in the baby phase when my daughter was born. They play together nicely, and my son is very caring and protective of his little sister. I'd really like a third child, but my husband wants to wait until our daughter is 2 (she's 7 months old now). But the fact that it's easy for me doesn't necessarily mean it'll be easy for you; maybe my kids are just easier. My daughter, for example, has been sleeping through the night since she was born. Never lost a night's sleep, unless she was sick, of course. I don't think the age gap has much to do with it; kids sometimes just have phases/moods where you want to stick them to the wall And just when you're about to scream with frustration, one of them smiles at you or gives you a hug, and it feels like you can handle the whole world again! Don't worry too much about what some people here say; they don't know you or your situation, so let them talk! And maybe it's also true that the stronger your bond with your kids becomes, the easier it gets! Good luck, and I hope things get better for your kids soon, and remember that those phases and annoying moods really do pass! Kisses

  4. trotsemama #24

    Hi MamavanMi,

    My youngest just turned one. She has a strong will of her own, just like the oldest. They’re starting to have fun playing with each other now.

    I think it’s great that you want to share this honestly. Most people feel ashamed of it, while it’s actually very normal. Every parent wants to hide their kids behind the wallpaper sometimes. Someone recently told me, “I’m two and say no, I’m three and won’t do it, I’m four and I’m a pain.” I had to laugh out loud, but it’s true. Those beautiful moments make up for it, and they’re the ones that prevail

  5. * #25

    @proud mom,

    Nice little rhyme... Enjoy your family...

    I think you're writing the second part to Madelene because I don't have daughters, hehehe.
    Only boys..

  6. madelene started this #26

    Hi Manon, it's so nice to read this. Your kids really don't have much of an age gap, do they? It's true what you said about being in the baby phase for a long time, or at least until the second one comes along and falls into that same rhythm.

    I just felt so sorry for myself during my pregnancy with the oldest. She was only 1 and wanted so much attention. I felt sick, dizzy almost every morning, and nauseous throughout the day—it wasn't easy to give my little girl the attention she naturally deserves at that age.

    And yeah, when Jenever took over part of the care for my daughter, it wasn't easy. It hurt inside when she wanted to go to the playground but I was so dizzy and nauseous. So Jenever went with her because I really couldn't handle it anymore, even though it hurt me. I missed my girl, of course. But over time, she slowly got used to Jenever, which is logical.

    But yeah, that time is over now. It would have been easier if my oldest was a bit older, say around 5, so she could entertain herself a bit. Then I could explain that Mommy is pregnant and doesn't feel so well.

    But it's so true that when she comes to give you a hug or has that sweet smile when she wakes up, everything feels better again. That's why we do it. My heart melts inside; she's so sweet.

    My oldest daughter is now almost 6 and a very spirited girl. Very sweet, but spirited—that's always been her. Her teacher told us recently that if Yara says she doesn't want to do something, she really means it. So I have to leave her alone then, because there's no point in trying to get her to do anything.

    My youngest, on the other hand, is a calm girl, a real "girl's girl," the complete opposite.

    Thanks for your sympathy. It's so nice to be received so warmly and to have understanding for your situation.

    And it does get more and more fun as they get older.

    kiss

  7. madelene started this #27

    Hi proud mama, how nice that your youngest is now 1 year old! I found that quite a challenging age, and at the same time such a special one, right? The first year.
    How old is your oldest if I may ask?
    Thanks. Yes, you know, if you can honestly share that, you can share it with other mothers; it lightens the load.
    Often there is a bit of
    shame in admitting those kinds of things, while we all encounter them from time to time, and that's why we still love our children deeply.
    I also found it difficult, for example, during the maternity leave period having to turn her away because I had to feed; those kinds of things aren't easy.
    And more of those kinds of things.
    Greetings, Madelene

  8. Anonymous Guest #28

    Maybe it's actually good if people are a bit less kind, with a bit less empathy, because what Madelaine is doing is and remains not normal. Maybe read the topic she opened herself. I'm responding anonymously anyway because I don't have an account here. If you admit just a few weeks ago that you don't take care of your kids at all, not even an hour a day, then you can't open a topic a week later about how hard it is. You have absolutely no idea about it if you don't raise your kids yourself. And people who take her side so much might actually need to be a bit tougher. Some people need to have their nose rubbed in the facts hard, otherwise it's to the detriment of her kids. If you need an au pair because you work so much, then you have a good job; otherwise you can't afford an au pair, so she must have a good set of brains.. and not to mention the fact that she can't even spell her au pair's name properly, while this person has been taking care of your kids full-time for years.. I find it terrible!

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