Forum Nice chat

heavy the tropical years with 2 little ones

27 replies · page 1 of 2

madelene
Are there any moms with kids who are close in age and consciously chose it that way, but now find it much heavier in practice?
I'm experiencing that myself with my two girls – they're really the "tropical years" (intense years), and if I had known beforehand, I wouldn't have made that choice.
Am I the only one, or do more moms feel this way?
Greetings, Madelene

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. * #2

    @madelene,

    I haven't experienced that myself, but I can imagine it's tough...

  2. madelene started this #3

    Hi mavanmi, yes, you know, I thought I'd check if I'm the only mom who experiences it this way. The funny thing is, it seemed so ideal in my head, with them being close together. But in practice, it's very different. Greetings, Madelene

  3. * #4

    @Madelene,

    There are definitely moms who won't stress about it; the comments will come...

    Have a nice day..

  4. Anonymous Guest #5

    Sorry, but didn't you open a forum thread saying that your kids should cry when you pick them up instead of the au pair? And that they miss the au pair when you go on holiday? You want them to see you as their mother again? Maybe you should spend less time on the computer and more time with your kids. Your question irritates me because you have no idea how hard it is, since you don't raise your kids yourself (and those are your own words...).

  5. * #6

    @Anoniem,

    First of all, I think you're judging something you're not even involved in. You could at least show a bit of empathy. If something irritates you, don't reply—don't pick apart someone. Madelene's openness says it all, and she has indeed picked up the thread to build a close-knit family.

    So try to react with a bit less irritation next time, or just don't reply at all.
    I hope you have people in your life who respond to you in a calm, decent way.
    Why do you actually reply anonymously?

  6. madelene started this #7

    Hi anon, you're clearly annoyed by me. You must find me interesting enough to get worked up over me. I'm not even going to waste my time here. Have a life.

  7. * #8

    @madelene,

    You go girl...

  8. madelene started this #9

    Thanks mavanmi ?

  9. madelene started this #10

    Oops, my bad! I meant to send a smiley but instead it came out as a question mark. I still need to figure out how to do that on mobile.
    Well, I’m blonde, haha ????

  10. madelene started this #11

    Oops, my bad! I meant to send a smiley, but instead it came out as a question mark. I still need to figure out how that works on mobile.
    Well, I'm blonde, haha ????

  11. madelene started this #12

    Do you know how that works? How to send a smiley from your mobile?
    I tried again and it turned into 3 question marks in a row.
    Greetings, Madelene

  12. * #13

    Just a : and a ) hihi

  13. madelene started this #14

    Ok

  14. madelene started this #15

    Thanks mavanmi

  15. * #16

    And a big smile is : and a D.

  16. Anonymous Guest #17

    I think the anonymous poster has a point too. Complaining that your kids would rather see their au pair than you. And now complaining about how hard it is to raise them. Get a life!

  17. trotsemama #18

    Everyone has their own life, don't judge too harshly. Madelene probably has her reasons for having an au pair. You can see it as a luxury, but to me, it doesn't seem like that kind of luxury. You can't see behind closed doors.

    Anyway, having said that, I can imagine it's tough for you, Madelene. I don't know how much age difference there is between your kids? But if you've gone through the first phase (and those aren't always the nicest phases), the other one comes along. Then you need to catch your breath sometimes. You'll see that they might have more to offer each other at a later age; it's always a wait-and-see thing.

    There's a 3.5-year age gap between my kids. I would've liked less age difference myself. Sometimes I'm already dreading it because I know I'll experience those awful phases all over again, hehe. But when they come give you a hug or look at you and say, "Mom, I love you," your heart melts, and you forget that phase so quickly.

  18. * #19

    @proud mama,

    And more people shouldn't just have an opinion..
    Are you a new mom or pregnant again?

  19. madelene started this #20

    Hi proud mama, yes that's definitely true. I really enjoy it when my girls come give me a hug or when my youngest can say so sweetly, "Mama, I love you."

    I'm totally crazy about my girls; they are my whole world.

    It's just really hard balancing the attention, and as you said, everything takes twice as long. The difficult toddler phase, the "no" phase at age 2, you get hit with all of that again and it feels double.

    With an older child, I think you get that beautiful breathing pause you described. With two little ones, you're rushing everywhere, which makes things restless for the kids too.

    But as you say, it does get nicer and they share more and more of what they experience with each other, which is so cute to hear.

    But I also felt it was sad for my oldest daughter. She was 1 when I was pregnant, and I felt awful. I was burnt out sometimes, didn't really show it, but she felt it, of course.

    And not being well enough to play with her while she didn't understand that it was because of my pregnancy.

    But I'm super happy with them. I just wanted to share with other mothers how I honestly experience it, with pregnancies so close together.

    Greetings, Madelene

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