The feeling that it just won't work out

hey girl.
i'm new here but i totally get how you feel, we've been trying for a little one for over a year now. but unfortunately, we're currently in the mmm (the merry-go-round). everything is completely fine with me, but unfortunately, my husband isn't doing well, so he's getting treatment on March 29th. and it's still up in the air whether we'll ever get to have children together.

so i understand your fear..

love

You shouldn't even think about Broberen, and that really helps. But what also really helps is: after you've had sex, don't stand up right away and don't pee right away. Try to keep your legs raised for 10 minutes. It sounds weird, but it really works. They say the sperm needs to get into the uterus. If you stand up or pee right away, it never makes it into your uterus. I'm not saying this lightly, but it worked for me. After I stopped the pill last May, I got my period once. Then I got pregnant. I'm now 6 weeks pregnant.

Love, Mimi

Hi Fatje,

It took us more than 2 years to get pregnant!
I completely understand your frustration. I know how much it hurts to have to face that disappointment every time. I was also super scared that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant.
My husband is recovering from a trauma and that has brought quite a lot of stress for both my husband and myself over the past 3 years.
All this time there have been people, including my husband, who said that not getting pregnant was due to the stress.
I never believed that because I was just afraid that something was wrong with me.
Now we've come into calmer waters and my husband is on the mend. He's doing well and so am I.
And guess what! Now 13 weeks pregnant!!
I also know that there are many people who say you shouldn't focus on it so much and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I always thought, how can I not focus on it? That might be 2 weeks of the month but the other 2 weeks I'm already thinking I'm pregnant and hoping I don't get my period.
I'll tell you that when I got pregnant I was so convinced that my ovulation had already passed. I was already a bit sad about it myself and thought, well, it'll take another month. And what do you know BAM pregnant.

What I want to say with this whole story is that you absolutely shouldn't start worrying after 3 months. That only brings stress and makes getting pregnant even less fun for you.
On average, it takes a year for couples to get pregnant. Of course, there are always those lucky ones who get pregnant super quickly.

Strength and I hope it happens for you soon!!

xxx Jolanda

Hey Landax,

Thanks for the reply...
I posted that comment last year... And guess what?
I’ve already got a big son who’s 3 months old :-)

That same month (May 2012 I was pregnant!!!)

Good luck with your pregnancy

So relatable... with our first son, it also took 1.5 years, but it turned out she had PCOS...
Nubing pills tomorrow, 19 weeks pregnant with the 2nd.
Everything will be okay.. s6!!

Hi ladies,

I've been trying to get pregnant since April 2013, but I've already gotten my period in April and May I know it's only been two months, but it's still bothering me. I keep thinking, 'I should be pregnant by now'...

Hi Merjam,

Yes, of course you think that!!... totally normal, of course , but 2 months is really quite fast though.
It happens more often than not though....
Normally it takes about half a year to a year.... so nothing to worry about yet!!

Hi Fatje,

Hahaha okay, note to self to pay better attention to the dates hahaha

CONGRATULATIONS on your son!!!

Thanks!

Hi ladies, I spent five years preparing for my first princess, but that’s exactly why my love for my girl is even stronger now, because I gave it my all to get her. I see her as so special, and I can hardly ever get angry with her. If I raise my voice, I can’t sleep well that same night—she’s so important to me, precisely because I don’t take her for granted. After five years of sadness, pain, and uncertainty, I finally got her, which makes her so incredibly special to me, besides the fact that she’s my daughter, of course. She’s almost five now, but I was still young when I had her—I was 22. No one in my family or around me knew that I’d been trying for so long to conceive; they think I just got pregnant out of nowhere. Now, Kyara, my daughter, is quite stubborn, a strong-willed, feisty girl. She probably thinks, “I decide when I’m coming,” ha ha ha.

but out of the two, I got pregnant quickly after five weeks, so I just wanted to share this with you all. greetings, samantha

Hi everyone,

I haven't seen much activity on this site for a while, but I wanted to share my story anyway.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a bit over a year now, and every time we end up getting our period It makes me wonder what's wrong with me every time. I've been thinking about making an appointment with the GP, but my husband feels we should give it more time.

Has anyone else here gone to the GP after a year without success, or should I just keep waiting?

Hi Angie.

Personally I'd say: just go ahead and see your GP. You have the right to get help or at least be checked out! A year is already quite a while; nothing necessarily has to be wrong with either of you, but the possibility is there.

I myself went to the GP after six months. I did have issues with my cycle, but it still took over a year after that before I finally got pregnant! I turned out to have PCOS.

Have you tried anything yet, like taking your temperature or using ovulation tests?

You could also agree on this with your husband: that you'll keep a temperature chart for 2 months and then go to the GP (GPs often ask for such charts anyway, so you'll have them ready and won't just be sent home empty-handed!).

xKruimel

That must not be easy for you if your partner prefers to wait a bit longer with the tests.
You know, men usually need a bit more time to flip that switch and do something about it; we women flip that switch much sooner.
Unfortunately, it often works like that.
But maybe you can give him some time, however hard it is for you at the moment. Give him that time.
And try to explain to him in the meantime how important it is for you to start those tests soon. Tell him you need his help, that he can help with the pain inside, that it brings a bit of peace when you go through those tests together.
Men like to help, so make use of that. Try to explain how much this is weighing on you and how much of a difference he can make.
How much it would mean to you if he worked along with you.
Lots of strength. Best wishes, Madelene

By the way, regarding those temperature charts, my sister wasn't asked for them either. That's probably because she said they'd been trying for 3 years, when in reality it was only 2 years. But she got a referral to the hospital right away when the doctor heard "3 years." I remember that clearly because I was with her at the time. It's already 4 years ago now, but yeah, maybe some doctors ask and others don't. Greetings, Madelene

I'd still go to the GP, just for peace of mind that nothing will stand in the way of a possible pregnancy. Best wishes, Madelene

Hey girls,

I saw this topic and wanted to share my story for the girls who might need to hear it.

In August 2013, I stopped taking the pill and we decided to try for our first baby. From the start, I had a feeling it might take a long time, but I brushed it off, thinking, "Oh well, everyone thinks that beforehand." My husband also said, "You'll see, we'll get pregnant very quickly."
On Christmas Day, we found out we were pregnant! What a huge surprise. "See?", I thought. "Good thing I brushed that thought aside, because we did get pregnant very quickly."
Unfortunately, a week later I had a miscarriage. We started the new year, 2014, full of grief.
My body was completely thrown off balance, but that was naturally due to the miscarriage. My body needed to recover. Mood swings, pimples (I already had some, but way more than usual), and periods that were way too light.
After 6 months, I felt it was enough. I made an appointment with the doctor and told her that I found my periods much too light. The difference was like night and day.
She referred me to a gynecologist for a control ultrasound. I really felt something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
The ultrasound at the gynecologist revealed that I had a cyst in my left ovary. It wasn't very big, so the gynecologist expected it to be gone the following month.
I went back the next month, but the cyst had grown a tiny bit (now 3.1 cm). Not a huge amount, so the gynecologist decided we would do another ultrasound two months later.
I still had the feeling that something wasn't right, but the gynecologist said I didn't need to worry about anything because almost every woman has a cyst at some point.
Two months later, I went back for an ultrasound and what do you know: the cyst had grown and was now 7.5x6x5 cm!
Last Friday, I had surgery because the gynecologist thought it was better to remove it. At that time, the cyst was 8x7x6 cm. It was an endometriosis cyst, and they immediately cauterized a few endometriosis spots.
My feeling was right after all, so this was where that feeling that something wasn't right came from.
Currently, I'm recovering and feel calmer than ever. Now I really feel like we can start fresh with trying to get pregnant.
We've been trying for more than a year now, but I can let it all go now and really feel like: if it happens, it happens, and if not, it doesn't. We're enjoying life to the fullest again, and enjoying each other.

So what I want to say with this story: Listen to your gut, girls, we don't have female intuition for nothing. If you feel something isn't right, then it often is (at least in my case). So I would recommend making an appointment with your GP, especially if you've been trying for a year. It could be, so why bother stressing yourself out? You deserve it

Wow, what a heavy story, Michelle. At least in your case, you went to the GP.
Well, I always think like this, even if it's just for peace of mind that nothing is wrong. My sister also had tests done after 5 years of no kids, but it turned out that neither she nor her husband had any issues. They just had intercourse on the wrong days, and 5 years is almost unimaginable, but well, that's how it is.
And since she learned her ovulation from the doctor, she got pregnant on the first try.
So sometimes it's nothing serious, but the solution lies in a simple corner.
And sometimes there is something going on that prevents pregnancy.
But that's why it's nice that you can go to the doctor.
Greetings, Madelene

How do you let it go?
I always hear people say don't think about it, let it go. But how? I'm starting to lose hope.

Hi, I think having kids is a nice experience for most women. I've been trying for a year now without success, which naturally causes a lot of stress. I notice the disappointment in my partner every time I get my period, which makes me very sad. But I think it's worth the wait if others had to wait 5 years or longer. I hope to share good news with you all very soon.