for a second one? age difference

wendy Guest 2 months ago #2

Okay

Thanks for your reply.
I'm curious to hear how others experience it... it's probably different for everyone.

Beertje 2 months ago #3

Good morning!

There's an 18-month gap between my oldest and youngest. I never found it too hard. Not even when the youngest was 5 weeks old and I was on my own. I found a rhythm pretty quickly and involved the oldest a lot in caring for the baby. I think it's the right moment as soon as you're ready and your husband is too.

wendy Guest 2 months ago #4

Thank you, little bear! That's really intense that you had to face it all alone... I have so much respect for you for staying so positive! How old are your kids now?

Beertje 2 months ago #5

My kids are 9 and 7 now. I'm married now and still getting used to doing parenting together on the weekends hihi. I really liked doing it alone. Just go with your gut feeling. You have your own babysitting kids and they fit into your routine too. I actually find it nice that they're close in age. They're almost in the same phase at the same time. And they motivate each other at school. And they do homework together too. The oldest helps the youngest with reading, super normal! It's fun for them too, they always have a playmate around their age.

wendy Guest 2 months ago #6

Yeah, that's why I think it's really nice, indeed, super nice that they're so involved together.
And yeah, that's also true, it's quite a busy place here, not exactly quiet hihi...
And yeah, it must be a bit of an adjustment if you're used to doing everything on your own! It's really nice that you've found love again

Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #7

It seems really heavy to me. I have a daughter who's 17 months old and I don't want to think about it (yet), but everyone has their own journey, of course.

anita 2 months ago #8

Our boys are 3 years apart. The oldest is 3 and the youngest is 5 months old. The oldest is super sweet to his little brother and helps out a lot. He was already quite independent when his brother was born, so we found that really nice. I’m 5 years older than my sister, but it’s never been an issue. We always had fun playing together and still have a great bond today. You have to decide for yourself. If you feel ready, it’s the best time.

wendy Guest 2 months ago #9

Thanks for your replies!
My husband and I have decided that I'll stop taking the pill and then take it easy (not tracking my fertile days, etc., just having sex whenever we want).
So I'm really curious!

Have a nice weekend everyone!

hartje 2 months ago #10

Good luck, Wendy, and I don't think it's a bad idea at all... It's also nice for later

wendy Guest 2 months ago #11

Thank you, sweetheart!

N. Coppola 2 months ago #12

Hey Wendy,

My son is now 15 months old and we’re starting to slowly get ready for a 2nd

I have 3 friends who waited 4 or 5 years for a second child and they regret it so much!

Because the first one is already out of diapers, you basically have to start from zero again

Another reason, their first is in the 3rd year of preschool, so they’re fully preparing to go to first grade, she’s busy with that every evening doing exercises, and then the 2nd kid comes along because she wants to color and seeks attention from mom and her brother!

She also said she had gotten used to her 1 sleeping well through the night, and with the 2nd kid she had to wake up every 3 hours again and so on,

I’ve always said I wanted a 2nd quickly, it might be hard, but hey, better to get it all done at once…

And also, I’m turning 30 this year and I don’t want to wait years to start my 2nd kid

Everyone’s opinion is valid of course, I’m not against women who start having kids after their 30s or anything, but that’s just my opinion.

Good luck ladies

wendy Guest 2 months ago #13

Hey N.Coppola,

Yeah, I think you're right, there are pros and cons to both sides.
It's quite intense for your girlfriend right now.
How lovely that you're planning to try for your second baby soon!
Did it take a long time to get pregnant with your son?
Good luck in advance

hihi

Greetings, Wendy

N. Coppola 2 months ago #14

Hi Wendy,

Yes, that's true, there are pros and cons, and everyone should just go for it when they feel ready.

Yeah, I do find the idea of starting a second pregnancy appealing. I still have one and a half strips to take, and I'd actually like to start right away, but my husband wants to wait until summer, preferably when we go on holiday. Hmm, I'm still hesitating...

But yeah, we'll see.

It took 5 months with my son.

Best wishes,

madelene Guest 2 months ago #15

I was pregnant from week 2 to week 4 before my daughter's first birthday.
I have to be honest and say I found it super tough. I underestimated it. The pregnancy was a hell because my first was still so small. When I was nauseous, I'd just take it easy and not add anything else because my 1-year-old daughter demanded all the attention.
And of course, precisely at the moments when I was struggling through my pregnancy, when I was nauseous.
And then when my belly got bigger, running terribly after her in the playground, back pain and pelvic pain while she was super active and running around.
And when she was born, my daughter lacked a lot of attention. So sad because she was still so small herself.
If I could do it over, I'd wait at least 3 years in between.
Then you can explain to them that you're just not feeling so well for a bit.
And then they don't have to share their mother so young.
And they don't have to miss out so much on mom's attention.
By the way, I think it's nonsense to say it's easier with two little ones close together. Everything takes extra long. The toddler years last twice as long, and that also applies to the preschool and teenage years. Everything is double. Sooo heavy.
But this is my personal experience, how I experienced it, which I'd like to share with you all.
Greetings, Madelene

nadine Guest 2 months ago #16

I personally think it's better to have a few years in between, because then you can also enjoy all the phases more consciously. Otherwise, you're rushing through everything and it feels like just surviving. You experience the baby phase, toddler phase, preschool phase much more consciously with each child. And I think every child deserves the full attention of their mother. And that's just difficult when you have two kids with a small age gap. I always find it a bit unfair for the first child who has to grow up so quickly.

Arnold Guest 2 months ago #17

Hi!

Winnie 2 months ago #18

Our daughter is 19 months old now and I'm 4 months pregnant. So they'll be 2 years apart soon.
I forgot how tough the first 3 months of pregnancy are. The good thing is that our daughter still takes a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon, which helped me get through those 3 months

I think/hope I'll naturally adjust to it later... Our daughter is such an easygoing, sweet, cheerful kid. You never know how our second child will be or how she'll react to it.
I think if you follow your heart and desires, everything will work out!
Good luck with getting pregnant (it can happen faster than you think; with us, it was immediate!).

mamasjoerdje 2 months ago #19

I never really cared about the age gap because then I’d have 3 kids now. I was unexpectedly pregnant at 15. My son is 9 now, and I’m pregnant with the second one. I mean, school was also really important, and then my mom got very sick (unfortunately passed away last year).

karima 2 months ago #20

Hi Wendy, I have 7 kids. The oldest is 17, then 9, 8, 6, 5, 3 years old, and my youngest is 9 months. So I have experience with both having a big gap between the first two and then having about a year or slightly more between the others. Personally, I think it's better to have only 1 or 2 years between them, so you stay in a routine hahaha. And it's also much more fun for the kids themselves if there isn't such a big age difference. Anyway, good luck! X

for a second one? age difference

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