Ladies, I wanted to ask: my almost five-year-old daughter gets angry quickly and doesn't listen well in class.

Hi Amber,

I’m a teacher for group 3 myself – so you know right away from which perspective I’m writing he . I completely understand your question. In my opinion, the problem mainly lies in communication. Judging by what you say, you’re certainly open to help and you do recognize parts of the teacher’s story. However, the teacher indeed spoke with you too little before bringing in a social worker. And that’s a shame, of course. I would never involve external parties without first sitting around the table with the parents myself. If that’s really necessary, I’m allowed by my management to step out of the classroom (another teacher will cover for me) to be part of the conversation. Because what you say is true, I also think it’s important for all parties to sit together, to avoid misunderstandings.

I agree with Is2903 above that it’s important for a teacher to indicate when a child is showing difficult behavior, and that it’s indeed a two-way street. What Enita just said above is just nonsense. Some children also say they hate the teacher because they don’t feel comfortable or are a bit tangled up. If this improves through an adapted approach in class, a child won’t say it so quickly anymore. That said, unfortunately, you also have people in all professions who maybe don’t quite belong there, but I can’t judge that. It’s true that this teacher might be getting a bit too much, and her approach might therefore not be right, but simply saying "It’s the teacher’s fault" is too short-sighted, I think.

Where I do agree with Enita is that a teacher should know how to handle a child. That means, for me, first looking for solutions in class, regularly consulting with parents, and only involving help with their agreement.

The most important thing I take from your story is that you care deeply about your little girl and are certainly willing to accept help, but you rightly don’t like the way it’s unfolding. I would now focus mainly on finding a solution for your little treasure that feels right to you. If you feel you’re not kept sufficiently informed, I’d simply keep knocking on the teacher’s door.

All kids are different and require a different approach, so everything will work out for your little girl, especially if the social worker points out positive aspects.

Good luck with it