What do you think? Is 22 a good age to start having kids, or do you think it's too young?

27 replies · page 1 of 2

annabelGuest · 2 months ago

hi ladies, i'm annabel and i just turned 22. i'd really like to start a little family with my boyfriend, but my mom doesn't think it's a good age. she keeps saying to wait until you're like 27 or 28. why the rush? she thinks 22 is too young and keeps saying enjoy your freedom first, it'll never come back. at this age you're still looking for yourself, and by the time you're older, late 20s, you've enjoyed more and have more patience. but i'd love to hear other moms' opinions. what do you think? is this a good age, or is my mom right and should i wait until i'm in my late 20s?
love, annabel

Replies

Page 1 of 2

ri Guest 2 months ago #2

I'd just say start when you're both ready and it's financially feasible. Then there's nothing standing in your way. I'm 25 now and almost 19 weeks pregnant, but I was already ready at 22. Back then, money was tight, so we put it on hold. My mother-in-law didn't think it was such a good idea either, but once she heard I was pregnant, she was over the moon, and so was my mom. So my advice: just do it when you're ready...
Anonymous Guest 2 months ago #3

You can only decide for yourselves if you're ready for it. I assume you've thought about it.
Having a baby is truly wonderful! !!!!
But you do lose some freedom, which can be a bit tough if you're still young. Especially when your friends still have all that freedom. But if you both want to build a little family and you're truly ready for it (financially too), then go for it. And enjoy it.
kruimel 2 months ago #4

Hiii!

I always find it a bit nauseating when people say "don't do it, you still need to enjoy your youth." Why would I enjoy, for example, going out and getting wasted every weekend, but not enjoy having a baby? I'm not much of a party-goer, don't need to travel the world... I'm ready for a little family!

I started when I was 20, and now a year later I'm still not pregnant. I'm 21 and it's not working, and now I've been in the medical process for 5 months!!

In my opinion, my body can handle the treatments and such, and later a pregnancy + childbirth, much better now than when I'm older. What if it takes another 5 years? Then I'll only be 26. What if you only start at 28 and it takes another 5 years to succeed the first time?
You don't want to think about it, and the chance is small that it will happen, but it can!!

If you can afford it financially, I say go for it!!!!
Don't pay attention to what others say!

xxKruimel
Dromertje87 2 months ago #5

Only you can decide if you're ready for it..
I always wanted to become a mom early on but ended up putting it off a bit because my boyfriend wasn't quite ready yet and we were in the middle of planning our wedding..

In the end, we were unexpectedly pregnant just 5 weeks after we got married when we found out. I wasn't even 23 yet, and now we have a beautiful 2.5-year-old son, and in about 7 weeks, we're expecting number 2.

Yes, I often got comments like "Wow, you became a mom pretty young," but you can also look at it this way: nowadays, women are getting pregnant later because they prefer to focus on their careers first and later realize they still want kids, which comes with more risks during pregnancy.
Nature has it planned that a woman is most fertile between her 20s and mid-20s, and nature doesn't do this for no reason.
joopie 2 months ago #6

I'm 22 and now 5 weeks pregnant !

My boyfriend is older, we live together and financially everything is sorted out.

So why not? We're very happy! Although our parents still don't know anything. But that'll be fine!

If you're ready for it, why wait?
*m 2 months ago #7

Hi Annabel,

If you're both ready and supportive of each other, I'd just go for it!
I find it so weird that some people immediately link it to not being able to enjoy life anymore... yeah, your life changes, but you get so much beauty back in return!
We have a son who's 9.5 months old, and we're 23 and 25 ourselves. Never once regretted it! We actually really enjoy being young parents.
Just follow your own feelings!
Wishing you lots of success

Love,
annabel started this 2 months ago #8

Thanks for the sweet comments. My partner and I have decided to go for it. Best wishes, Anbabel
Poesh 2 months ago #9

Lots of luck
*m 2 months ago #10

That's so nice!
Have fun with all the chores, and hopefully, you'll get a message soon that you're expecting a baby.
Good luck!
annabel started this 2 months ago #11

Thanks, ladies! I'll let you know when the time comes. Thanks to you, I listened to my heart. It's something I've wanted for a long time, but I was only doubting because of my mother's comments about freedom and enjoying life first. I'll share with you all when the time comes. Greetings, Annabel.
* 2 months ago #12

@Annabel,

That's so lovely and now enjoy being busy for your little miracle, you two, and don't let yourself get so upset by your mother or whoever. Stick to your own feelings....

Love Ju or well MavanMi
Monkey 2 months ago #13

I got married at 21, even though my parents told me to wait.
I became a mom at 22, even though my parents (especially my dad) said after the wedding that we shouldn't have kids for the first 5 years.
And now they're such proud grandparents
As long as you're ready, no one can tell you that you're not. Only you can decide that.
And freedom? You still have it. The truth is, you can't just spontaneously go out for an evening, but with a bit of planning, everything still works. In less than 3 weeks, we're heading back to my husband's home country for 2 weeks, and 2 weeks after we return, we're leaving for Cameroon for my uncle's wedding. Little A is coming along everywhere
Callie Guest 2 months ago #14

I was also 22 with my first, conscious choice. I really wanted to be a young mom who still knows a lot about what it's like to be young (kids' shows on TV, etc.). I sing along with K3 because I was a fan myself (back then), just like my 3-year-old daughter now.
And about that lost youth and stuff... pff, you get a lot of other things in return. And if you're ready for it, why not?
Mamavan3 Guest 2 months ago #15

You won't believe it, but I'm also 22 and a mom of 3 kids. With the first, I was almost 19 – really quite young in hindsight – with the second, I was just 20, and with the third, I was 21. And now? Things are going well, despite the hectic moments every day of getting up, making warm food, and putting them to bed. We recently found out we're expecting our fourth. So I'm going to be a 22-year-old mom with 4 kids. And that brings very different reactions...
nicole 1979 2 months ago #16

Just do it when you feel ready! I was 23 when I got pregnant with my first.
Still so happy about it to this day.
And what about freedom? For me, going out doesn't come before my kids... and when we do go out, I find babysitting like every parent does, right? Because you need to spend time together sometimes too.
Enjoying each other. That's good whether you're 22, 35, or 45, etc.
Follow your heart. Good luck!
melissa123 2 months ago #17

Hi,

I became pregnant in October '22 and became a mom in November.
It really depends on what you're willing to give up. If you're really into going out, I wouldn't recommend it. I'm not really a night-out person either I also got told a lot, "so young?" This is the time to live it up. But if it's not your thing, haha
And if you're ready for it, being 22 is really no problem at all

Good luck!
naomi 2 months ago #18

Hey Annabel! I'm 20 myself and pregnant with my 3rd baby.. I think it's really a choice you have to make when you feel ready for it Greetings!
Margaux Guest 3 months ago #19

Hey everyone
I'm 22 and a few months ago I had an abortion. Looking back, I wish I hadn't done it because I've always regretted it. During the time I was pregnant, everyone in my family was against it and I grew up with the idea that kids ruin your life, that you can't do anything anymore, and that they drain your money. My parents also always pushed me towards abortion and I couldn't really voice my opinion. I couldn't say that I was hesitating. I had the abortion for financial reasons and also because I was probably influenced by them a bit. But I believe you should listen to your heart, otherwise you'll regret it. I still regret it now, despite the reasons. I'd like to start a family, this time consciously. But it's a complicated situation because my parents won't be happy about it and the abortion is still too recent. And indeed, I'm someone who overthinks a lot and doesn't dare to take steps quickly. So I'm also worried about my age. I'm not really a party person but I do like to live a bit YOLO sometimes. But the events have really awakened my maternal instincts. I constantly think about having a child and what it would be like. I try to put the negative aspects aside because having kids isn't all negative, but people don't often mention the positive things.
I'd say lots of luck with your pregnancy and your mom will come around.
Cheers
Anonymous Guest 3 months ago #20

Personally, I think your parents have a point. And they probably don't mean that you shouldn't enjoy life in the sense of partying, drinking, etc. But rather that you should use these years to develop yourself in different areas, so that you'll be stronger together later on. You don't necessarily have to want to build a career, and even those who start later don't always do it for that reason. But you do develop many things/skills in the period leading up to 26, especially if you work for a while—you'll bring those skills with you.

I know all young people here will relate to this, because at that age we all feel like we're already adults and ready for everything, etc. And I'm not saying you can't be ready, just that you'll only realize later what that period has done for you. And yes, I thought the same way.

But go for it if you really want to. Just talk to your parents again about why they feel that way. Not to change their minds, but to understand them. I believe they'll still be lovely grandparents even if you get pregnant now (my dad once said they didn't necessarily have to be grandparents yet, but he's the coolest grandpa my son could wish for).

Add your reply

Share what helped you, or ask a question.

Continue with Google

Takes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.