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Stay-at-home moms

16 replies

sammie123
Hi there! I was wondering if there are any other moms here who have stopped working. I have an 8-month-old son and I quit my job when he was born. First of all, I had unpleasant hours and I didn't really like the company. My partner also really wanted me to stay home to take care of the little one. I'm not really a homebody and I found it quite hard to be home all day. It's been 8 months now and things are going better, we have our daily schedule and a fixed routine and so I get through the days well. Still, I miss working and I'm now looking for a job again. I find it very difficult to have to drop off the little one later on. Depending on the hours I get, I'll take my son to daycare and my mother will babysit as well. My son is becoming a bit more shy now so it will take some time for him to get used to it when I start working again. I want to work max 20 hours because I don't want him to be placed somewhere else all week and besides, I'm so crazy about him and I want to be there for him and enjoy him. I hope there are moms here who want to chat about this with me. Are you at home or do you work and how did you arrange childcare etc?

Replies

  1. Anneke Guest #2

    Hi Sammie, I think it's really brave of you to want to stay home for your little boy. I made the same choice to stop working.
    I used to work for a graphic design agency, but after my maternity leave, I voluntarily didn't go back.

    Now I do some freelance work every now and then, but never more than a day and a half a week, so I don't have to sit completely idle.

  2. Iza #3

    I also stopped after the birth of our oldest. No regrets so far In the meantime, I started my own prenatal massage practice and I can happily schedule my appointments myself. Ideal!
    Once the oldest is in primary school and the youngest is about to start too, I want to start a training course so that when they're both at school I can go back to work (part-time).

  3. Mandy #4

    My contract ends during my maternity leave and unfortunately won't be extended. I've really enjoyed it there, and they actively helped me look for another branch to continue working, but since we're having twins and still have a little girl running around, the decision has been made to stay home for a while.
    I do have a bit of apprehension because I'd also like to do other things than just changing diapers, but we'll see!

  4. hartje #5

    I’d also love to take care of the little one full-time, but unfortunately, it’s not financially possible for some.. Hopefully at a later age!

  5. Indy #6

    If it were financially possible, I would have stayed home full-time for the first four years. I now work 3 days a week.

  6. Anonymous Guest #7

    I lost my job during my pregnancy and now I’m only occasionally helping out with my nephew. I really enjoy it, so I’m currently doing my childcare training, which I can nicely combine with our son.

  7. Anonymous Guest #8

    I stayed home when our first daughter was born. We believe that if you choose to have kids, you should be there for them yourself and not leave their upbringing to someone else. There’s already been research on children who go to daycare. It’s not good for a child, and there’s a higher chance they’ll get into trouble during puberty.

    Long story short, if you choose to have kids, you should make sure you have enough money so one of you can stay home. As for the rest, you can’t predict the future. It might happen that unexpected things come up and you have to go back to work, but at least you did everything you could to be there for your child instead of leaving them with someone else.

  8. hartje #9

    Anonymous guest, the way you phrase this is very painful for some. There can be a huge desire for a child or an accident, and then grandma or a friend as babysitter or the daycare center where I work would be needed. I see that the children are having a good time, but that doesn't matter. Such a survey might be accurate, but it's inappropriate to say that you dump your child. In this society, you can't always ensure being home 7 days a week!

  9. Anonymous Guest #10

    Count me in too!
    I also find it a bit weird, to be honest.

  10. felicia Guest #11

    I only took parental leave for 6 weeks. You can take parental leave with alternating half-days, for example, Monday off, Tuesday working, etc., or you can choose to work half-days every day until 12 pm. I chose the latter because once I got home, I would breastfeed. So I opted for time off until 12 pm rather than the whole day, so I could breastfeed. My dad took care of her from 8 to 12, and after parental leave, I went back to working full-time, 32 hours a week, because I didn’t want to be a housewife. I wanted to work and then miss my child so I could have energy for Yara, our little girl. I would feel grumpy and unpleasant if I didn’t work. My husband got a very close bond with Yara because of this; he knows her better than I do. She now also wants to be put to bed by him, he has to comfort her when she falls, and he’s allowed to make her bread, not me. I enjoy seeing how close Yara is with her dad. It’s logical; he was there with her while I was working. So I see the benefit of working as having energy for her because at work I get some rest. Love, Felicia.

  11. Irma Guest #12

    I work 24 hours spread over 4 days, which I also find way too much! But I guess I'll have to manage with 2 jobs. The grandmas help out, and I work weekends so my husband is home. The first week after maternity leave was really tough, but every mom goes through that, right? Anyway, we're back at it again for another 2 months. Our little boy turns 5 months old on Saturday. Time flies, but oh, it's such a joy.

  12. denise #13

    Hi there.
    Here’s another mom who has stopped working. With the first two kids, I worked part-time, but with number 3, I decided to stay home comfortably. Now we’re expecting number 5, and I’m still a proud stay-at-home mom. I know each day is a gift, and I realize that every single day. And I don’t take it for granted, even though two of them are in school because I’ve started studying again. Lovely!!!

  13. Iza #14

    It might be a bit of a short-sighted comment by 'anonymous guest', but I partly agree with it. I think many couples/parents don't want to adapt enough to their new family situation. I've also stopped working and yes, we can't take three holidays anymore and we only have one car parked outside, but in return, I'm experiencing everything with our men now! I understand that daycare is necessary in some situations, but there are too many parents for whom it could be different, but they just don't want it....

  14. Irma Guest #15

    I agree, it's good that tasks are divided! Unfortunately, I'll have to work 24 hours, but it gets used to, and getting out among people isn't bad either. The time for sleeping in is over, and that's not a big deal either. At the end of the day, I'm tired, whether I work early or late. Housework and, of course, enjoying our little guy doesn't come short:-D

  15. Dromertje87 #16

    I'm a stay-at-home mom too. My son is now a bit older than 2.5 years. When he was 9 months old, I started working in the mornings so we wouldn't have extra childcare costs and I didn't feel guilty.
    Now, my son is almost 2 months old and going to the toddler playgroup, which is nice since I'm pregnant again.

  16. kaatje #17

    With a regular MBO job and salary, you really can't just stay home these days. Even though we rent our home, you fall outside all the schemes because you earn just a bit too much money. (NL)
    We really don't do any crazy things (we don't even have a mobile phone with internet or subscriptions to monthly magazines, for example), and going on vacation isn't a must for us.
    Still, I'll soon have to go back to work, and staying home isn't a choice.
    Hopefully, and fortunately, my husband can work from home two days a week, so I can work two days. I currently work in childcare (BSO), but until my child is one and a half years old, I'm not so convinced by the concept of childcare. Because those kids can't say what's wrong with them and they might get a bit lost with one caregiver for six children. But from experience, I know that the caregivers give 200%.
    After my maternity leave, I'll look for a new and different job. The childcare where I work demands too much flexibility to be deployed.
    I hope all parents are there for their children as much as possible, whatever solution they find for childcare. And that they put their career on hold, even if it's just for the first four years.

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