Second baby or not?

Hi hi Moppie,

I totally relate to your doubts. Literally, for the past 1.5 years, my partner has been gently bringing it up here and there, and I’ve doubted whether I really wanted to, because I’m a realistic/practical thinker

I have a nearly 7-year-old autistic son from a previous marriage who needs a lot of care and attention, but my ex also has a new baby brother who he’s handling super well! My partner is also a really great stepdad to him. I was mainly thinking about how I’d manage that in my apartment, which has a bedroom that’s big enough but lacks space in the living room, and how to combine that with co-parenting, my job, and his job... I also had the fear that the next pregnancy might be just as physically difficult as the one with my son (blood clots, gestational diabetes, and a difficult birth that ended in a C-section). It would be my partner’s first biological child, and he’d be experiencing pregnancy, birth, and the baby phase for the first time, so I thought, don’t underestimate how exhausting it can be.

Recently, my partner brought it up again by chance, and we had a good, long, serious conversation. I honestly laid out my practical concerns and anxious doubts/feelings. He shared how he feels and what his thoughts are, offered practical solutions, explained how much he wants it in his heart, and gave me more confidence so I can let go of some of those realistic worries.

After good discussion, we’ve decided to take the first step soon, which is calling the GP to have my Mirena removed. From there, we’ll see how long it takes for my cycle to get back on track, and we’ve agreed to enjoy each other without pressure and see when it happens naturally..

Honestly, I can’t think of better advice than following your heart and keeping good communication with your partner. Good luck with your decision.

Best wishes!