Health
Passive smoking during pregnancy
lore
Hi everyone,
Due to a serious renovation, we're temporarily staying with my in-laws, and being pregnant during this period seems like less of a good idea than I thought.
Besides lots of nagging (back in the day there were fewer ultrasounds, back in the day you were allowed to eat that, back in the day...) and comments (don't act faint and eat), I have one big fear: my mother-in-law smokes. Not inside—I wouldn't have moved in if she did—but outside and a lot. Before pregnancy, I didn't really notice the smell, so I didn't realize how strong it was, but now that my sense of smell is heightened, I do notice it. And this has two major consequences:
- In the evening, during/after dinner, she goes outside to smoke, and when she comes back in, the smell makes me nauseous...
- The back door and covered smoking area are next to our bathroom, where the window has to stay open all the time (otherwise mold forms due to poor ventilation). As a result, the bathroom smells like smoke.
I breathe in that smell (and I suspect smoke) too. Can this kind of "passive smoking" do a lot of harm?
The problem is that there have been a lot of discussions and tensions lately, but we simply can't move out because we don't have a bathroom, kitchen, or even a decent room that's reasonably finished (Corona caused some delays). Telling her something about it wouldn't help much—I think we should be grateful we can still stay here.
Due to a serious renovation, we're temporarily staying with my in-laws, and being pregnant during this period seems like less of a good idea than I thought.
Besides lots of nagging (back in the day there were fewer ultrasounds, back in the day you were allowed to eat that, back in the day...) and comments (don't act faint and eat), I have one big fear: my mother-in-law smokes. Not inside—I wouldn't have moved in if she did—but outside and a lot. Before pregnancy, I didn't really notice the smell, so I didn't realize how strong it was, but now that my sense of smell is heightened, I do notice it. And this has two major consequences:
- In the evening, during/after dinner, she goes outside to smoke, and when she comes back in, the smell makes me nauseous...
- The back door and covered smoking area are next to our bathroom, where the window has to stay open all the time (otherwise mold forms due to poor ventilation). As a result, the bathroom smells like smoke.
I breathe in that smell (and I suspect smoke) too. Can this kind of "passive smoking" do a lot of harm?
The problem is that there have been a lot of discussions and tensions lately, but we simply can't move out because we don't have a bathroom, kitchen, or even a decent room that's reasonably finished (Corona caused some delays). Telling her something about it wouldn't help much—I think we should be grateful we can still stay here.
Replies
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Orchidea #2
Honestly? I saw a video recently that my doula had posted. You really do get shocked by how harmful secondhand smoke can be for pregnant women, young children, and of course... other people too!
The smoker, even if they smoke outside, brings the harmful substances in a "cloud" around them inside. These substances get everywhere—into the furniture, carpets, walls, etc. The smell you detect is basically that cloud of harmful substances, which can already be harmful.
But anyway, it's a bit tricky to demand that your mother-in-law quit smoking. You can explain why you don't find it pleasant and ask if she'd be willing to take it into account. Even later on, once the baby is here. I've also limited visits to my mom's place recently; she's so addicted to smoking that she refuses to go outside for her cigarette. She usually smokes in the bathroom, which I also use, or under the range hood. Unfortunately, this doesn't help much because I still end up inhaling secondhand smoke... Some people unfortunately don't consider each other, and then the addiction is just too strong. I smoked for years myself, so I know how tough it can be, but it's not impossible.
Strength to you anyway. -
lore started this #3
Thank you.
In the summer it's worse; she just smokes outside at the table where everyone is. My sister-in-law already has a kid, but apparently that didn't make a difference. I told my partner that we'll just go home if she does that to me and our baby.
But now I fear we still have a few months to get through... She's a very stubborn woman who doesn't listen to anyone, so certainly not when it comes to an addiction... -
Anonymous Guest #4
Stay in a holiday cottage. Airbnb. Whatever. I don't really get why you're putting yourself through this. Temporarily living with your in-laws. -
lore started this #5
@Anonymous If only everything were so obvious!
When I moved in here, the relationship was really good, but since the birth of her first grandchild, my mother-in-law has completely changed for the worse.
Financially, renting a holiday home on top of the costs of our house that we own and the renovation (plus less income because I can't work during pregnancy) is also not a given.
We made a choice back then and will have to deal with the consequences, and now moving out for 2 months won't really improve the relationship. I just want to check here for experiences or info around secondhand smoking. -
Anonymous Guest #6
It's mega bad for your kid. And for you. Is there really no way you have a separate space in your house where you can live? Buy a cheap caravan and put it in the backyard? Another 2 months of sitting in harmful smoke. It's really not worth it, you know. -
Dotjee #7
Well, it's obviously a tricky situation, but if you're really worried about it, I'd suggest asking your midwife. Maybe she can persuade them to move the smoking area somewhere else with some information. But I don't think the small amount of smoke coming inside poses a huge risk to you and your baby. This isn't based on anything specific, it's just a guess. I don't know if you live in a big city or a village, but sometimes the air quality in cities leaves a lot to be desired
There have been studies showing that people in big cities breathe in emissions and such, which is equivalent to smoking a certain number of cigarettes.
I think it's mainly really unpleasant that you're dealing with nausea and all that. And it's just really sad and frustrating that they don't want to take that into account. -
lore started this #8
I have to go next week, then I'll ask about it. I got a bit panicked by the messages saying I have to move NOW, but in the end, I only smell it during meals and in the bathroom, and for the rest, I barely spend time in the "common" areas. She doesn't come to our room, so there's no smell there either, which is already important.
Not a big city here, but a big garden with lots of greenery and nature behind it, so the air will probably be quite pure. Then the lack of exhaust fumes works in my favor here .
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