Youngest child

There are plenty of people who have kids at 40, so it's not crazy.
But I do think it's important that your situation is somewhat stable.
With just a 20-year-old daughter, a flickering relationship isn't such a big deal. She can still understand it. But for a little kid, it's hard to process if dad is there one moment and gone the next. I'm not talking about the father living far away, but more about a situation where you wouldn't even talk to each other when you're fighting.

Thankfully, there’s no quarrel. We became parents at a young age, and it ultimately didn’t lead to anything. We both never really moved on to another relationship, just a fling here and there, but nothing serious. In the end, we always find our way back to each other. The bond between us and our daughter is, fortunately, very good. This comes as such a surprise. It’s more about starting completely anew after almost 20 years. In a way, we’ve regained a certain freedom at a relatively young age because our daughter is now an adult. And I realize that might sound selfish, but by becoming parents young, we gave up a lot and missed out. No regrets, though.

So the baby is from your ex, I assume? From the same man as your adult child? But you two aren't together anymore? Or, well, sort of, now and then? Do I understand that correctly?

Honestly, I wouldn't even want to think about it. But you're pregnant now. You need to figure out what you feel about it. Whether you want to keep the baby or not. Talk to the father about how things stand. How you feel and what he thinks. How you might handle this together. After all, you both know you can co-parent despite not being a couple.

I don't have any experience with a 20-year age gap myself. I do have experience with what's called the "second leg" (kids of different ages). My kids are 15, 14, 5, and 3. It's really tough for me now. Two totally different life stages. In the evening, when the bouncy balls finally go to sleep, the teens come out with their homework, their teen dramas, and problems. They go to bed later than us. No private time ever. No more peace in the bedroom. In the morning, the bouncy balls are happily bouncing around between 5 and 7. The teens are grumpy, and we're still tired. Always running late because this or that still needs to be done.

In your case, the oldest is already much further along. Maybe already living on their own.

Good luck with your decision. I firmly believe that a child should be wanted by both parents.

Well, the advantage of starting over after 20 years is that you know where you're starting from because you've already been through it before.
You're older now, so some things will be easier because you have more experience, and other things might be harder because you're more mature.
You'll be 60 when this little one is 20, which isn't even that old, really
What does your daughter think about being pregnant again? Does she like the idea of having another brother or sister? And importantly, what does your partner think? Is he also having second thoughts?

Well... I'm almost 38 and we'd really like to have a second child... our daughter is 15 months old now... so we're consciously older parents... so regarding your age, I don't see any issue.... And your situation... Apparently you're capable of raising a child... and doing your best to do it again... or if you want to.... well... if your daughter is pregnant in 5 years, there might be a crazy uncle/aunt/sister relationship..... As long as you treat each other with love, anything is possible.... as long as the little one feels wanted, desired, and loved, it will surely work out.
And if you don't want it..... then don't... but then I personally would take more definitive measures to ensure I never get pregnant again..... if you feel good about it, that's okay too.
Good luck with your decision... from the bottom of my heart... it will all work out!

He is indeed the father of our now-adult daughter. She is also our only child. She's open about it and definitely not rejecting the situation. She still lives at home and is studying, but she really has her own life. In that sense, we're already out of the child-rearing phase. We never thought we'd have to face this, but here we are, 20 years later, facing this choice.

My head is currently working overtime, but I'm starting to get used to the idea. After hearing the news, I just gave him some space so he could process everything on his own. We agreed that I'll make an appointment to see where things stand and whether we even have a choice anymore. Our daughter was also a surprise at nearly 13 weeks.

In 2008, we were also pregnant. At that time, our relationship was falling apart, and we decided not to continue with the pregnancy and had an abortion. Although it was a logical decision in every way, I still struggled with it quite a bit. Honestly, I don't see myself going through with an abortion this time.

We’ve realized it’s still pretty early, only 5 weeks. Tonight we’re going to sit down and figure out what we’re going to do.

We have a son who is 18 and another who is 13. In between, we had a little daughter who sadly passed away.
My story! I wasn't pregnant at first and occasionally I lost a bit of blood but thought oh I'm probably going through menopause, until the moment my husband said that I started having quite a few symptoms. We did a test anyway and it turned out I was pregnant and already 13.5 weeks along. At first, we also didn't want to abort the baby and had made a decision for an abortion, but after a few days I started doubting and we just couldn't bring ourselves to get rid of it, especially since we had already lost a child.
So we decided to keep the baby and yes, it's definitely been a process after all these years, but I wouldn't want to miss her now.