Forum Not feeling well.

Postpartum depression

8 replies

Happymom89
The title says it all, unfortunately. Since the birth of our second child (Dec 2018), I've felt completely not myself. I feel depressed, down, cry a lot, have a restless/rushed feeling in my body, and just can't enjoy this special time. I don't understand where this comes from. Our son is a laid-back guy, his big sister is crazy about her little brother, and I have a partner who is there for me. And yet I feel alone. How can this happen when you know 1 in 10 women experience this too. I went to the GP a few weeks ago. Something has to happen. I feel terrible that I can't be the fun "happy mom" for my kids. And a cheerful partner for my man. I feel incredibly guilty. But what do you do with this feeling? Who else has (had) this? And what helped you? I didn't want to take antidepressants at first, but I'm afraid I might have to give it a try. I'm dreading it.

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    Congratulations on your son!

    Sending you a big hug and a shoulder to lean on.

    Did your GP refer you to someone?

    Try not to feel guilty; there's nothing you can do about it. Schedule something every week that makes you happy.

    Girl, if you broke your leg, you'd get it cast, right? So why not antidepressants? Why is there still such a taboo around them? I'm so glad I took them. I haven't been depressed for over three years now.

  2. Happymom89 started this #3

    Thank you! Sweet!
    It’s true that there’s a taboo around it. My parents still take it. They can’t live without it either. So I’m afraid it might be genetic for me too. I haven’t been referred anywhere. My GP thought it was hormonal, so they prescribed the mini-pill. I’ve been trying it for over a month now, but it seems to be getting worse. I’m going to make an appointment this week because this isn’t sustainable anymore.
    It’s so nice that it worked out for you! Did this happen after your delivery too? Are you still taking it? Or have you been able to taper off?

  3. Anne #4

    It's great that you're writing about it! You can't help how you feel, so don't feel guilty about it at all. It's good that you've sought help from your GP, but if it only gets worse, I'd absolutely consider antidepressants. I work in mental health care and I really see good effects from it. The best way (also to be able to stop later or to prevent a relapse) is to combine it with counseling from a psychologist.
    Wishing you lots of strength, and you'll really get through this!

  4. Happymom89 started this #5

    Thank you, Anne! I'm open to it now. I didn't want it for a long time. I hoped it would just go away on its own. No one in my circle recognized this. Not even those stupid postpartum tears. So I couldn't really share my story. While I read that 1 in 10 women giving birth experience this in mild or more severe forms. Isn't that actually strange? Thanks for your message. I'm going to the doctor on Friday.
    I see that you're pregnant. Congratulations! Is this your first pregnancy? How are the final preparations going?

  5. Anonymous Guest #6

    Get referred as soon as possible, the waiting lists are huge. I think it's pretty negligent of your GP. The mini-pill is rubbish.

    I've been depressed quite often. I don't know if it was due to the births. I had it regularly before that too. I've stopped a few times. Without having followed the right therapy. I'm still taking them now. I'm going to see the psychiatrist soon to discuss it. I don't mind if I have to keep taking them forever. As long as I feel happy on them. I miss that little chemical boost. There's nothing I can do about it.

    Be kind to yourself!! You've got this!!

  6. Happymom89 started this #7

    I'll do it. Yeah, that's right. I also had the feeling that she didn't know what to do with it. And at that time, I wasn't open to taking antidepressants.
    Glad it's working for you. I hope I'll benefit from it too. Then I don't mind it either. Good luck with the psychiatrist.

  7. Anonymous Guest #8

    Hey girls,

    I'm not that active on Brabbels anymore, but when I saw your post I just had to reply. Honestly, I don't immediately think it's depression; personally, I don't think 4 months postpartum is that long yet. You're also breastfeeding, right? At least that's what I gather from you mentioning the mini-pill? Because of breastfeeding, you still have a lot of hormones, and unfortunately, feelings like that come with it. I experienced exactly what you're describing now after 4 months postpartum with my second child. I was also on the mini-pill and swapped it for the regular pill because I felt incredibly worthless because of it. I also suddenly got Pfeiffer's disease on top of that, which I didn't even know was possible! For me, it helped when I eventually went back to work and got back into "normal" life, which gave me some "time" for myself... because, of course, I also felt guilty when I did something without the kids while I didn't have a "valid" reason for it. I'd give it a bit more time and also take some time for yourself (easier said than done, I know).

    I hope you start feeling better soon

  8. Happymom89 started this #9

    Thanks, anonymous, for your message. I do know that it’s normal to have hormonal ups and downs after giving birth, but it started from day 3 and it’s still going on now.. I’ve accepted for a long time that this is just part of it. But I really feel far from okay. It doesn’t seem normal to me that I can’t enjoy anything at all.

    Yes, I’m breastfeeding now too. This isn’t coming from the mini-pill either. I had this too in the first 3 months without the pill. I recognize that hormonal ups and downs were also with my other child. I had crying spells then too, and it took a while until I really felt like myself again, but I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. That’s why something really needs to happen now. I’ve been putting up with it for too long.

    I’m definitely doing things for myself too.. I’ve been working again for a month. I’ve gone out to eat a few times, to a concert, and I’m exercising every week. So I feel like I’m doing everything I can to put my shoulders back and keep going.. but apparently it’s not helping.

    It’s nice that you got better again quickly. With a different pill. You can also have side effects from Pfeifer, I think. Do you feel better now?

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