Forum Baby wish

Emptiness

10 replies

JozefienGuest ·
Hi everyone

Situation: I stopped the pill in February '18. Since June, we've been trying to get pregnant using ovulation tests. No success so far. This month I had a bit of hope because my period was late, but unfortunately, it didn't happen.

Last month, I had my hormones checked via a blood test. Everything was normal.

My cycles are fairly regular every month.

I don't understand why it's not working. I don't drink much alcohol, I eat normally (healthy stuff plus the occasional candy and fries), I exercise, I get enough sleep, and I've never smoked or used drugs. I feel really empty because it's not working.

Are there other women who feel this way? How do I best cope with this?

Jozefien.

Replies

  1. Moedertjuh #2

    You've only been trying for 5 or 6 months, I understand the desire and I can feel the impatience. But most couples get pregnant within a year. So your chances are getting bigger and bigger. How often do you have sex around your ovulation? Every day is best. That way sperm quality stays optimal. Sperm cells can live for several days in your uterus, so there's always some waiting around when your egg is released.
    And is your partner just as healthy as you? Because it could just as well be due to sperm quality, you know. But don't stress too much yet, 5 or 6 months is completely normal to not be pregnant yet.

  2. Jozefien started this #3

    Yeah, my partner works out a lot, drinks little, and eats the same as me. He doesn't smoke either.
    I know it's only been 6 months, but everyone around me is getting pregnant. I'm happy for them, but it always feels a bit painful. Especially since everyone constantly asks why we don't have kids yet. I usually laugh it off and say we still have time. (We're both 29)
    Last cycle we had sex very often, starting from the week before ovulation. First every other day. And then also on the day of the positive ovulation test and the day after.
    I constantly wonder if there are no underlying issues, hence why the doctor already took a blood test. Because they usually only do this after a year, she told me.
    Wait a bit more and cross fingers for more luck early 2019. :-)

  3. Moedertjuh #4

    Yeah, you're still young enough! I had my last daughter at 39, now 11 weeks old. Don't look at what others are doing. You never know how long it takes for others who are now having a baby. And try to enjoy the process. Then it might happen faster than you think. Good luck!

  4. ninic Guest #5

    I completely understand how awful it is that it hasn't worked out yet. Even though you haven't been at it for very long, it's still so stressful and you want it to happen so badly, and preferably right now.
    We're on cycle 16 now, and I have to say I get incredibly impatient sometimes.
    I also live healthily, don't smoke, and only drink occasionally. I exercise too. You'd think it should work out easily then... but unfortunately not.
    I also feel so empty, especially when I feel or know that it hasn't worked out again.

  5. Laurake86 #6

    I completely understand. I haven't been at it for long either (since August) and am now in round 5. But it does feel frustrating that it works for some right away, while it hasn't for us yet. My cycle is fairly regular here too, and I've had positive ovulation tests since last month (never had a positive one before)... I do have my annual appointment with my gynecologist in February anyway, so I'll ask around then. My sister has endometriosis, so there's a chance I might have it too... I'm still hoping for a spontaneous conception. Don't lose hope, you're not alone, and even though it's taken us a bit of time, our time will come

  6. Anonymous Guest #7

    It's going to be okay!

  7. Anonymous Guest #8

    So relatable!! I was so sad every month. In the end, it took 14 months.

  8. Lies #9

    I sometimes feel guilty about how quickly I got pregnant.
    But I also know that people around me have been trying for 2 to 5 years! Normally it takes at least a year.....
    It doesn't help much... but just be patient!

  9. Anneke Guest #10

    I totally relate to how you feel. It's so frustrating when everyone around you gets pregnant right away. And you're probably right that people who take longer to conceive won't talk about it much. We've only been trying for three months for our first baby, and it's always a disappointment when I get my period. My cycle is regular and my hormones are fine, which is reassuring, but I still worry that something might be wrong somewhere.

  10. FiFi #11

    Hey Jozefien,
    I don't think it matters how long you've been trying. Once you've decided to go for a baby, you want to get pregnant as soon as possible. I've never heard a woman say: I hope I'm not pregnant from the first round ...
    I'm still only in my 2nd round, but every extra round is one too many .
    I say this, of course, with all respect to the ladies who have been trying for much longer! I hope for every woman who wants to get pregnant that it happens as soon as possible.
    I just mean that whether you're on round 2 or round 20, every extra round feels like one too many to you .
    Hopefully, we can all hold a positive test soon .

    FiFi xx

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