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Uncertain

3 replies

JoGuest ·
Hi mamas,

I’d like to get this off my chest and I’m hoping for some advice/experiences from others so I don’t doubt myself.

I’ve been a mom for the first time since early September. The birth wasn’t smooth, but I think I’ve put it behind me/closed that chapter. I’m enjoying my little baby so much every day.

What I find hard is that I suddenly get these insecure feelings. Like, am I doing everything right? Is my baby happy and feeling secure? Am I giving him enough new things for his development? Is he sleeping too long or too short? Does he love me? Will he miss me when I go back to work? Does he feel that I love him even though I’m sometimes tired? And I could list a million more things that suddenly pop into my head regularly.

He’s still sleeping in our room, and since yesterday we’ve been getting him used to his crib in his own room. I wonder if he’ll feel abandoned later when he’s not sleeping with us anymore. Probably not, and it’s probably all nonsense. I think I’ll be most affected when he stops sleeping with us. I also feel like everything is moving so fast.

Now I’m sitting on the couch, he’s sleeping sweetly in his bassinet, everything is fine and calm. But I have this nervous feeling in my stomach and really no idea why.

I hope someone wants to reply. I don’t really have a clear question, I’m aware of that. But maybe someone recognizes these feelings.

Thanks for reading!

Replies

  1. proud_mommy #2

    Hey girl, congratulations on your little angel.
    You don't need to worry about that. I've had that too, and then I tell my husband what's bothering me. He says then that I'm a good mother. You just need some reassurance. That little one loves you incredibly much. You're a really good mother. If you weren't, you wouldn't be worried about it. Your little one is lucky to have you as a mom. I think it's due to the hormones. You'll notice later that he loves you a lot. He also shows when he's tired, etc. You shouldn't dwell on it too much. And that he sleeps in his own room doesn't mean you've pushed him away. It's just better for him. He needs to get used to his own room, you can be a proud mom. Don't worry about that.

  2. Beagle #3

    Hi Jo.
    I really relate to your story. I also had a lot of doubt about whether she loved me and whether it probably didn’t matter who took care of her. She also slept in her own room from 10 weeks, and yes, the distance. And I had a lot of doubt about whether I was doing it right. The snacks didn’t go so well at first either, and she’s on the -1 line weight-wise, which made me feel really bad and insecure about it. But I think it’s mostly the hormones, and now, almost 10 months later, I can handle it much better.
    What also helps a lot is that when I pick her up from daycare, she’s super excited to see me now (in the first period, I didn’t notice that when I came to pick her up). And when she cries and I’m nearby, only I can comfort her. That gives your mama heart a good feeling

  3. floydi #4

    Hi there, does it help if I say that every single mom worries? I mean, motherhood is loving someone so much that you literally worry about everything and feel guilty. Try to laugh it off because... you're doing amazing! Hang in there.

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