Disagreement with in-laws and pregnancy.

Thank you so much, everyone, dear people! Thanks to you, I'm more sure of my decision and no longer have to doubt or keep thinking... what if this or that... And for my partner to think that every time, because I thought it was sad for him, but it's actually sad for me and that little girl! He's figuring it out too! He should find it VEEEERY important for my little girl and me that I still take it into account, what ridiculous! My blinders are off! He can keep worrying about those parents, he can figure that out himself!
Have they completely lost their minds! Hahaha
Lots of love! And thanks again, everyone!

Hi everyone!

Just an update.. My boyfriend has been over there 4 times to talk and make it clear to them that they need to accept our boundaries and if they really want to make things right, they need to put in some real effort (he wants things to work out, I get that, but for me it doesn't matter anymore) .. 3 months later, nothing happened...
Suddenly, my father-in-law showed up at the door.. I discussed with my boyfriend whether I should let him in.. I agreed to see what he wanted, maybe he can make things right now, so I left my door slightly ajar. I did this for my boyfriend.. Then we talked AGAIN, now I was talking to my father-in-law directly.. He denied everything and danced around the whole conversation!! I told him about our dog and how I found his treatment of it very sexist, and the nasty comments he made towards me, and asked him why and if he thinks it's normal to do that.. He didn't find it sexist.. and started denying it. When I confronted him about how my mother-in-law treated me and mentioned that she told me that if I secretly got pregnant behind my boyfriend's back, she would brainwash me into having an abortion.. When I asked if he thought that was normal, my father-in-law gave yet another weird answer: "then she wants to teach you something and make something clear." I looked at my boyfriend.. and said, look, see what I mean, these people dance around it or they're actually crazy! What am I supposed to make of this answer? I think they don't want to change!! Then I said, so you find it normal to treat me like this! "That's just who we are," he said then! So I said.. so you have every right to abuse me? What kind of weird answer is that? Then I looked at my boyfriend, what is this... do you get this? We are only asking if they want to respect our boundaries and stop saying hurtful things! That's all! ... Then the bath story came up.. I said.. You also went bathing with my dog, I wasn't happy about that, okay! You can't just do things that aren't yours!? And if I say no, then it's no, what don't you understand about no!? Because he also secretly took my dog along even though I had clearly said I didn't want that. When I went to confront him, he lied and his wife lied with him, agreeing with everything he did, even that his finger went along the flute, she said nothing!.. And why do you have such a need to do this with my child.. I don't think this is okay and I'm telling you now, this isn't going to happen.. He gave another answer.. "I think this is okay and I think it's normal," he said! .. And then I got angrier and said.. And I don't! And then he made another remark, I also went bathing with my cousins.. (this was apparently with his own age group, his own cousins and nieces/nephews, children of his aunt, so..) I asked my boyfriend if his father had sat in the bath with my boyfriend's cousins or nieces/nephews (children of his sister), he said no..) That's very different, I think, with own age group peers, and that he doesn't see a difference here, I find that strange already, and that he wants to push his point, it gives me the creeps.. especially because he has already sent some scary signals.. That he has such a strong need for this doesn't make sense!!! Then I threatened him.. And I walked out of my own house because I wanted to attack him!
I pointed out several things, like that I always argue with my boyfriend, and it's always about them.. Etc, it didn't affect him at all! He kept denying, dancing around, and he also said.. "That's just who we are, we aren't going to change."
Pffff, they are really crazy people because before that, something else had happened, my mother-in-law stood (while my boyfriend was at work training, he had to be away from home for 2 weeks, so I was alone) zd stood on the 2nd floor of my flat looking into my place! I then called my boyfriend in a panic and said that I no longer felt safe and they should hand in the keys to our house! I also told my parents about this and they said.. Maybe she was checking on you to see if that 'other' guy was there (I was told every time during my pregnancy by my mother-in-law that the baby could be someone else's) My boyfriend is done now too.. He sees for himself now that they are indeed crazy..! I hope he eventually says goodbye to them.. He already says himself.. If they don't want to accept our rules, too bad...

Yeah, seriously, they’re completely out of line! I just can’t believe people can be like that! But a lot of people around me think they’re pretty weird too, except for my partner... He didn’t see it back then, obviously, since he didn’t know any better until he saw how they talked to me every time... They try to deny everything and twist things around so you’ll just give in and think, "never mind," so they can carry on undisturbed while you just have to accept it because there’s no point anyway since you won’t win... They play such nasty games, and apparently, it works with my partner but not with me... With me, they slipped up because I don’t let myself be brushed off or manipulated like that... And my partner only realized how things really stood then... And how those people try to take over conversations by denying everything and giving weird answers that don’t make sense, etc.

For my partner, this is also pretty intense... He said when he finally saw it... "Those are just my parents too," he said...

I’m now 25 weeks pregnant! And my girl is quite active, which helps distract me a bit from all the misery I have to deal with during my pregnancy...

Something else too.. 3 days ago I had that intense conversation with my father-in-law.. Yesterday I got a Christmas card from them! Oh, those people are completely out of their minds! What kind of weird things are these? I was clear, wasn't I? My parents also sent them one, and they know my parents are fed up with them too! This is just like when my mother-in-law handed out pacifier sweets at work with the text "oooh we're so happy, we're going to be grandparents" when I had already cut contact with her and had a fight with her.. As if nothing happened! What picture do you have in your head, I think.. Or is this just another way of dominating, bullying or... I don't know.. It doesn't make me feel good.. Pfff