Forum Baby wish

Self insemination

30 replies · page 1 of 2

Shar
Hi,
My partner and I are facing a problem. We want to have a baby, but it’s not working out as we’d hoped. My partner can’t penetrate me without it being really painful. I’m not wet enough at that moment, and when he does try, it hurts a lot, even though our foreplay is good. We both find this really frustrating. Since we’ve been trying for a baby, we’ve been doing at-home insemination since the start of this year. Does anyone here have experience with this? We’ve had three attempts so far, but all were negative. Any tips for us? Does anyone know this issue?
Best, Shar

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. Tooby #2

    Have you been to the gynecologist yet? Or does it hurt him?

  2. Shar started this #3

    No, I haven't been to the gynecologist yet. It really hurts for me. It feels like there's not enough lubrication...

  3. Tooby #4

    If it hurts a lot, that's a reason to see the gynecologist. Something could be wrong, or for example, your pelvic floor muscles might be too tense. You can fix this with pelvic floor physio, luckily, but you first need to get checked by a doctor.

  4. Shar started this #5

    Mmm okay.
    I think I'm too tense, I'm trying to relax but it probably won't be good enough, I guess.

  5. Moedertjuh #6

    I’d also give your problem some attention because it would be nice to be intimate together without pain. This can be physical or psychological. Since it wasn’t pleasant a few times, you might now be unconsciously blocking, which makes it hurt even more. So you end up in a kind of cycle. You expect pain, so it hurts. Maybe it’s something to discuss with your GP. In the Netherlands, I don’t know if you live elsewhere, you need a referral from your GP before going to a gynecologist.
    As for insemination, in principle, if you do it correctly, you have just as much chance of getting pregnant as with natural conception. And 3 attempts is still early. Are you using ovulation tests?

  6. Shar started this #7

    No, don't use ovulation tests. I have regular cycles, so I keep an eye on the 24uurbaby site for my fertile days.
    Self-insemination isn't a problem for us, but it would still be nicer if you could do it the right way.

  7. Moedertjuh #8

    Okay, yes, if you're regular, you can usually tell when your fertile days are. Do you inseminate every day? Because for sperm quality, every other day is good. It always happened quickly for me to get pregnant...not with insemination, though.

  8. Shar started this #9

    We're doing insemination every other day. We want to start again tonight.

  9. Tooby #10

    Just pop by the doctor/gynecologist, I have the same thing but not to the extent that I have pain, so for me it's not necessary to fix it, but for you it is.

  10. Moedertjuh #11

    Okay, I hope this round hits the mark.

  11. Tooby #12

    Maybe getting pregnant isn't that bad, but I assume you'd still want to be intimate with your partner, and giving birth with your health issues could be dangerous..

  12. Tooby #13

    And dealing with your problem while pregnant can be trickier than before you were pregnant. So my advice, call the doctor tomorrow.

  13. Shar started this #14

    Called the doctor, have an appointment later. I'm curious. Thanks for your messages

  14. Moedertjuh #15

    Good luck later!

  15. Shar started this #16

    Went to the GP but there's nothing wrong. Apparently I'm too tense and that's why it's not working. When the GP put his finger in he felt a kind of tension. He told me to think of something nice, so I did, and then it got better, he said. After a few minutes he checked again and there was still some tension, but when he moved his finger the tension went away immediately..... He said I should just keep trying. So, keep my brain off it.

  16. Moedertjuh #17

    Well, anyway, it's good that nothing weird was found inside. But your mental health also needs attention. I think you should start working on that when you're ready, maybe look for ways to relax.

  17. Shar started this #18

    HA already said to try lying down calmly and thinking about something nice. Man, just let work be for now. Maybe talk about intimate things together, that can also help, he said.
    I told him that we did a self-insemination last night. That went fine.
    I went to the toilet at 6 am this morning and had the feeling that everything was leaking out. Have you guys experienced this? HA said that this is normal...

  18. Tooby #19

    Strange that he didn't advise you to go to a pelvic floor physiotherapist... maybe go yourself?

  19. Mij Guest #20

    Tip: There's another thread on this forum where many questions have been answered and you can find success.

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