Forum Baby wish

Recurrent miscarriages

33 replies · page 1 of 2

sweet
I know your story from another thread.
In August, after 10 weeks of pregnancy, I was told that the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks and a few days. The day before I was scheduled for a D&C, it came spontaneously. And last weekend at 6 weeks, miscarriage number 2
We don't have a healthy baby yet unfortunately, and I'm afraid it's because of us. I discussed this with the midwife, and she said there was a 99.9% chance that we just had two rounds of bad luck. However, she said it wouldn't hurt to get some tests done. I have an appointment with the GP on Monday morning about this.
With the first miscarriage, they said there was only a very small chance it would happen again, but unfortunately, we're part of that tiny percentage. So why shouldn't I be part of that 0.1% now?
I'm glad we can get pregnant quickly. Now, it's about staying pregnant.
Strength, Linda

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. Good vibes only #2

    Yes, that's exactly how I feel. Percentages don't mean much anymore. They keep telling me it's probably just 'bad luck'. Last time we saw a heartbeat at 7+5, but it turned out to have stopped at 9 weeks... That chance is only 2%. But you can just sit with that low percentage.

    I noticed I was a bit sad that I wasn't very happy with the positive test last time. I just want to be really happy about a pregnancy, but the anxiety takes over and creates a kind of numbness. 'Let's just see if it goes well first.'

    I was supposed to go to the midwife today, but I have norovirus, so I'm trying to reschedule. Been dead sick since yesterday, pff!

  2. sweet started this #3

    We had that too. A nice, steady heartbeat at 8.1 weeks, and then she did indeed say that the chance of it going wrong was really, really small, but still, a week later the heartbeat stopped.
    I understand, I couldn't let myself feel happy either, even though I'd only experienced it once back then. The fear is just in your head. Eventually I let myself feel happy, and then it went wrong. I'm already anxious about when I'll have a positive test in my hands again, so to speak.
    Oh, that's less good. Get well soon, and hopefully you'll have a new appointment soon!

  3. Molly #4

    Hi ladies,
    I think I already read your sad story somewhere else here
    Last week Cytotec (hell) and this morning I had an ultrasound check at the OB-GYN, luckily it was clean enough, so no further curettage. I got the attached info, which I found nice to read.
    They also took 5 tubes of blood for some tests, not everything can be checked right away, I have to admit I don't even know exactly what they're checking now (at least homocysteine and a few other things). We're not doing chromosomal testing yet (I think we will if we get another miscarriage now).
    The results will probably take about 3 weeks from what was submitted this morning. Oh yes, no gestational sacs were visible yet, so a bit more patience, but it's not a big deal, because I still feel pretty wiped out from the past 1.5 weeks.
    https://www.nvog.nl/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/HERHAALDE-MISKRAAM.pdf

  4. Molly #5

    And indeed, being happy with a positive test won't be there anymore... I already had that after the first miscarriage

  5. len #6

    Ladies, this is so sad...
    I have two fantastic kids with my ex, aged 12 and 9.
    Meanwhile, I've been with my current partner for 4.5 years; he has no children, and in September 2015 we decided to throw the pill in the trash. By November I had a positive test, and after three days of heavy bleeding and clots... unfortunately, a miscarriage..
    In 2016, I had three more early miscarriages, and all I hear from the gynecologist is that we just have pure bad luck..
    An internal ultrasound showed nothing unusual.

    We decided together to put our desire for children away after the last miscarriage...
    It hurts so much... I'm 35, my partner is 39.. I wanted it so badly, but emotionally I can't take it anymore, and my partner is done with it.. the trust is gone.

    I hope, girls, that you don't give up. And hopefully, you'll all have a beautiful little miracle.

  6. sweet started this #7

    Molly and Ien, also really sad stories Thanks for the link Molly, I'll read it too, I didn't get anything at all.
    Lin95, having that many miscarriages is really tough. Kudos to her for just carrying on. I had two in a row and now I've said if it goes wrong a third time, I don't need it anymore. It brings so much sadness. But I'm sure you all understand that.
    Now, I found my early miscarriage less tough than my first miscarriage at 10 weeks. But I find life really unfair sometimes. Yesterday I saw another pregnancy announcement when I opened Facebook, she's 8 weeks pregnant and has an 8-month-old child. I would have been 7 weeks pregnant now.
    I really believe it happens for a reason, and that it's better for the baby. But unfortunately, that doesn't make it any less painful.
    I hope we all get our chance soon and that everything stays okay after that. And that we don't worry too much and can still be happy and enjoy ourselves. That's going to be the hardest task for me.

  7. Good vibes only #8

    Thanks Molly, I'm going to read that brochure!
    That's really intense, Ien! Maybe if some time has passed? It's so intense, but it doesn't have to mean anything. It can always turn out okay again.

    I had an ultrasound on Tuesday. Everything was completely clear, but I do have a cyst behind my uterus. It's separate from the miscarriages, but they want to keep an eye on it for now.

    Unfortunately, we can only go back to the hospital on May 3rd. But then they'll do further research into the miscarriages. She mentioned as an example that it could be a genetic issue with my husband, and that it's only in the male gene. That's why we had a healthy daughter and then it went wrong each time after that. I'm curious. We're allowed to keep trying, so hopefully I'll already be nicely pregnant by then!

  8. Good vibes only #9

    How long did it take for your period to come back?
    I want to focus less on it, so no temperature tracking or ovulation tests, but I find it hard not knowing when my PERIOD is coming!

  9. sweet started this #10

    With my miscarriage in August, my first period came exactly 6 weeks later. I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time.
    Now I'm only 2 weeks post-miscarriage, since I was only 6 weeks pregnant, I hope things get going a bit faster this time.

  10. ---- #11

    I did have a birth, but at 18 weeks, and my MS came exactly a month and 5 days later. But that was a miscarriage. And now I expect my MS on April 11, so exactly a month after the miscarriage (ovulation on March 28, confirmed with ovulation tests).
    So basically, about a month for me, twice.

  11. Molly #12

    Yeah, I'm dealing with that too...
    After the curettage on 12-28 (I had already lost the gestational sac on 12-13), I had a week of light bleeding, then a week of nothing, and then a week of heavy period-like bleeding with quite a bit of cramping (they often say that the first period after a miscarriage can be more intense). January 12th was the first day of my last period, so it came back quickly, but unfortunately, it was back again on March 12th.
    Last Thursday I did a pregnancy test and it was a faint line, but luckily positive. So I thought, great, I'll start testing for ovulation again, and those tests have been really positive for days now... (because I don't think I can ovulate yet, since I'm still occasionally bleeding and having some cramps after 3 weeks, which makes me think everything hasn't kicked in yet. The day after the pregnancy test, I went to the gynecologist to check if everything was clear after taking Cytotec. It was clear enough, but she also said she didn't see any follicles yet).
    I do notice that it's making me quite unsure. I just want to know what's going on
    I think my body is still quite confused.

  12. Molly #13

    And at the end of next week, I'll give them a quick call to see if the results of some blood tests are in yet. I'm curious, but it probably won't be anything.
    The gynecologist said that menstruation should normally kick back in somewhere between 2 and 6 weeks.

  13. Good vibes only #14

    Molly, have you had your blood test results yet?

    We went to the hospital this morning. My uterus and ovaries looked good, so that’s good news. My cyst from last time (VK had an ultrasound) wasn’t a cyst but a gestational sac, and that positive test was indeed a pregnancy. That means I had another early miscarriage in April, number 4 in a year. (but this clarity is a relief!)

    Now they’ve taken blood for chromosomal testing, and those results take 3 months. There’s also a blood clotting test, but I have to wait at least 2 more months for that because you can’t have been pregnant. The whole test takes half a year, and during that time you can’t be pregnant, become pregnant, or have been pregnant, so we need to think carefully about what exactly we want to do. The chance that something will actually come up is very small, but if it does, the chance of another miscarriage is higher. So it’s a tough choice whether we take a break now or, say, after the summer and try again. Because she thinks it’s most likely just bad luck.

  14. Molly #15

    Hey Linda,

    That antiphospholipid thing can indeed only be tested 9 or 10 weeks after a miscarriage. It’s been about 7.5 weeks now, and I’m not sure yet if I’ll get that tested. I wasn’t actually aware that it has such a long aftermath. If I find an egg again, we’ll definitely go for it. We haven’t started with chromosomal testing yet, but I can understand that you’ve done that now; we’ve got that in mind if it goes wrong again.

    Homocysteine came back clear too. I only had some vitamins checked via my GP because I’m so tired; my B12 was in the gray area, so I’m going to boost that a bit. So basically nothing wrong, which is nice on one hand, but sometimes also not . How much patience do we still need? Time goes so fast, right?

    I also found other mom-to-be pills that have better concentrations of everything. Davitamon is probably good enough, but I wanted something really good .

    I find it really mega exciting to start again...

    Good luck with making the decision! I’m not young anymore either, so we’ll see what happens.

  15. Molly #16

    I saw your post in the NOD May forum about that children's aspirin, and I considered it too because I read so many good things about it. I never really asked my OB-GYN about it again. And have you looked into all the stories you can find about wheat germ oil and evening primrose oil? I was also looking into Gilles Stoop's acupuncture; my sister-in-law went there, they were in an IVF cycle, and it worked out back then. With all these kinds of things, I was super into it right after the 2nd miscarriage, but now I'm not at all. So I think I won't do anything extra now, just those good mom vitamins.
    It's tough, isn't it, because what exactly should you do?

  16. Good vibes only #17

    I also used evening primrose oil for a while, and my cycle became stable right after. Maybe it was just a coincidence, though. Then I stopped again.

    And I happened to look up information about acupuncture last week. I think I’d like to try it. If it doesn’t help, it won’t hurt, I guess.

    I’m in the same boat—I’ll be 35 in the fall, and that ticking clock is still going....

  17. Molly #18

    I'm just 2 months 34 weeks, so we're close to each other, and when you see with these 2 miscarriages in a row, we're already 6.5 months further That sometimes scares me.
    Are you just going to an acupuncturist near you? I really wanted to go to that Gilles 2 months ago, but it's not so convenient compared to where I live. And then it slipped my mind again.
    Maybe I'm burying my head in the sand, but I don't have the energy to do a lot of extra stuff for it, I just hope I can find an ovulation again and then we'll just go for it T is sucking up all kinds of energy (also because those D&C's are always really intense with those disgusting Cytotec pills).
    Do you already have a view on your cycle again? I don't remember how long it's been for you.

  18. Molly #19

    When I read that little story about Shir and the kids' medicine in NOD with Mei, I start doubting again Are you still considering it?

  19. Baby05 #20

    Hi ladies.
    Unfortunately, I also fall under recurrent miscarriages.
    I had an ex who once blacked me out and I was pregnant. That one doesn't count.
    After that, I got pregnant with a girl who was born healthy.
    Then I got pregnant with another girl and it was a stillborn baby.
    Also had a miscarriage with a sweetheart at 10 weeks back then.
    And then with my current husband:
    1 singleton
    1 twin
    1 singleton
    1 triplet
    and then in December last year 1 singleton
    January, March both 1 singleton
    and now I'm at the point again where I'm 5 weeks pregnant as of last Wednesday, but according to the midwife (without a second ultrasound, I only get that next Wednesday at 3:10 PM) it's a miscarriage... so miscarriage number 8.
    The other midwife told me that if there's another miscarriage, we need to think about whether we should be referred to a gynecologist...

    I don't know anymore, I'm fed up with these miscarriages. This has been going on since 2014.
    Is it because of my age (45) or my husband or something between us not working well, I don't know?

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