Round 17, impatient....

Ster 2 months ago #2

Hi, we're now in week 16. I sometimes find it pretty tough too. It helps that I already have three beautiful sons; that makes it easier to carry. Last week, my sister gave birth to a beautiful daughter who I can cuddle every day since she lives next to us. That also eases the pain. But yesterday I had a bit of a low moment. I wanted to put a stork in the garden for my sons, but it never worked out, not even once. And there are a few other wishes around the pregnancy and birth that I really hope will come true with our last baby. So I started making a stork. A bit premature, but when you're pregnant, you can't help yourself. Suddenly, I became so sad: what if I never get pregnant again? (I probably have PCOS and they probably won't help me because I'm too heavy. I'm already busy losing weight, but it's not going that fast.) Then I'm left with that beautiful stork. I just let the sadness be there. But I was so sad that I couldn't even watch "Four Hands on One Belly," which I really think is a lovely show. Anyway, I completely understand your sadness. And letting go, yes, that's easier said than done. I thought I had done it with my sons (we waited a long time for them too), but it wasn't the case. They just come when it's their time, or not.

meid22 2 months ago #3

I completely understand how you're feeling. We've been trying since October 2016. I have a very regular cycle, and time and time again, when my period arrived, it made me really sad :-(

In the end, last year I went to see my GP because I wanted to know if we were hoping for something that simply wasn't going to happen.

At the beginning of January, we were able to go to the hospital for the first time, and it turned out that no sperm cells were found in my partner's sample. This really came as a shock. You prepare yourself for all sorts of possibilities, but finding zero cells was something we never expected.

I'm glad we took the step to see the GP and go to the hospital, of course. You don't want to deal with this problem, but hoping for something that will never naturally happen is even worse.

So, we'll have to go through the medical system to make our wish come true. Like you, we sometimes feel that "why them and not us?" We live healthily, have our own house, stable jobs, and are getting married next summer, so we're truly ready for a family expansion. Unfortunately, we'll still have to go from one waiting list to another to achieve our wish, but I believe that if you really go for it, it will eventually work out, in one way or another.

Wishing you all lots of strength. I hope you'll get pregnant soon

Ster 2 months ago #4

Oh my goodness, that's such a tough story. I think it's really impressive that you're staying so positive about it. Of course, I understand that it's not always easy. Wishing you lots of strength, and also for your future partner—it won't be easy for him either. I hope you'll get the help you need soon and welcome a beautiful little miracle.

Trees87 2 months ago #5

I relate so much... we're already round 16 weeks or something... last month I took the step to see the gynecologist. In January we both had our tests done.
What turned out to be nothing alarming or abnormal for us. Just the conclusion that male sperm (but this is a known fact worldwide) is slightly slower.
So now I've been taking oral hormones to help regulate my ovulation.
I have to say, it gives me peace of mind regarding ovulation tests and all that. Now I know for sure if eggs are developing and if my uterine lining is thickening, etc.
So whichever path we take... we'll all get there eventually, in one way or another

stff48 2 months ago #6

So relatable, we're also at round 16..
Was in a bit of a slump but things are looking up again..
Let's hope we all get a bit more luck this year!!

meid22 2 months ago #7

Thank you, Star, for your kind words. It’s definitely not always easy, and we cried a lot when we first found out. But life goes on, and the thing is, unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do to change it, and nothing you can do about it. It’s really hard for me and my future husband. Of course, he’s the cause, but it happened to him too, and everything is fine with me, so I could get pregnant, just not with his sperm. That’s bitter too, so it’s tough for both of us.

I think that if you have to go through such a long journey, you’ll appreciate the miracle even more when it happens. Until then, we support each other, but we also do fun things to keep ourselves distracted.

Trees87 2 months ago #8

@monique... we've got a similar story here. No, the gynecologist suggested it themselves, but I didn't go through with it. We could get pregnant naturally, but it might take a while. And we've been trying for 14 months now... so we've waited long enough

Monique 2 months ago #9

Yeah, then I would’ve known too. Hope it works out quickly for you! We’ve been trying for 17 months now, and my period is due in two weeks. Again, like almost every month, I think I’m noticing something. But probably I’ll just get a reality check again and both feet brought back down to earth. In December, we were sent to “the woods” again, as they so nicely put it. If we’re not pregnant after another year, we’ll have to come back...

stff48 2 months ago #10

Hey Monique,
I know that story, I went in for a check-up here in December (everything was fine) and they sent us home until June... that's only half a year compared to a year, of course, but it's incredibly frustrating, isn't it! After 16 & 17 rounds, you've had enough and just want a little miracle in your arms.. I find it mentally and physically quite a heavy burden, because every month you feel something he xxxx

Monique 2 months ago #11

Hey stff48,

Yeah, it's incredibly frustrating, especially since everyone around us is either pregnant or already has a little one. The friends with kids are really complaining a lot: "Don't even start, you're losing your freedom, it's not as fun as it seems, enjoy your freedom while you can, I wish I were you," etc... Then I sometimes wonder why they do it? We really want it and we definitely see that it's not all roses and moonlight, but I'm sure I won't regret it for a single moment.

Yeah, indeed, every month you feel something. Am I more emotional? Oh, I'm feeling a bit nauseous... hmm, sore breasts, etc., and then again, my period at the end.

I hope we'll have a bit more luck this year. Xxx

Ster 2 months ago #12

Oh, ladies, but complaining is part of the deal, otherwise you wouldn't cope as well with the sleep deprivation. So you'll be complaining too soon; that doesn't mean you don't adore that little one. The more you complain later on, the more you can enjoy it; one can't exist without the other. But I completely understand your feelings. I'm lucky enough to know both sides. I now have a house full of children, 6 to be precise. I'm currently enjoying every moment of the noise around me and the little girl who's sleeping peacefully after I carried her for a while in a sling. Right now, I'm happy with my kids and my sister's kids, whom I secretly count as mine too. Raising them and tidying up their toys is always a battle, though.

Monique 2 months ago #13

I get that complaining is kind of part of it, I'll hopefully do enough of it myself when I'm up all night haha.
But some people take it a bit too far here. They say they find it terrible being around kids, wish they'd never started with kids, and if they get pregnant again they'd get an abortion. That doesn't sit well with me. Wow, 6 kids, amazing. I hope I'll be lucky enough to bring at least 2 kids into the world. And then we'll see how things are, my boyfriend would like 4. Sounds lovely to me, all that squabbling among them (mostly then haha).

proud_mommy started this 2 months ago #14

I know that kind of complaining and the "I wouldn't have kids" preaching. But it's something you have to experience for yourself. A friend of mine said, "I wouldn't have kids," it hurts and is heavy, etc. Half a year later, she was pregnant with the next one. I got pregnant with my first after 18 months. It's tough at night, but you have to get used to it. You have to adjust to when the little one sleeps so you can lie down or sleep too. People around me also said I wouldn't be able to get pregnant because I wasn't pregnant after a year. Don't let them get to you. If you let them get to you, it'll just take longer.

Ster 2 months ago #15

Wow, that's quite a stretch!

Not all of them are mine. I've been blessed with three of my own and really hope to have a fourth, though it doesn't look likely in the near future. I just got confirmed that I have PCOS and was told they won't help me until I've lost 23 kilos. So, I've decided to enjoy my little miracles even more and include my sister's kids too. We'll see if I manage to lose that much weight; I'm definitely going to do my best. Who knows?

proud_mommy started this 2 months ago #16

Lots of luck, star. What is PCOS anyway?

Ster 2 months ago #17

Thank you

In short, I have little to no ovulation due to a hormonal imbalance. It's quite hard to explain.

kirstnn 2 months ago #18

It took about 18 rounds here as well, including 2 pregnancies after 7 months and 2 miscarriages. We already had a referral, and everything was checked out for me, but nothing was found. They told me to try until May 2017 and then do further tests. But 2 months after the second miscarriage, in April 2017, I got pregnant for the third time, and it turned out to be a miracle. Now, 7 weeks ago, I gave birth to a beautiful son, so don't lose hope, no matter how hard it gets.

anoniem 2 months ago #19

I'll join in the chat. We're currently in round 16. Very frustrating. Next month I have an appointment with the gynecologist.. quite nerve-wracking. Sometimes I lose hope.. but your messages give me strength again. I'm not alone.

Monique 2 months ago #20

Hi! I'm also trying to let it slide by me. But sometimes when you've just had a negative test or are pregnant, it hits me in the wrong place..

That's really tough for your star, I hope it works out in the end. If I'm not pregnant by November, we'll have to go back to the hospital, but they won't help me until I've lost 25 kilos, so I really need to get cracking.

Kirstnn, I hope round 17 is a hit for us, and if not, hopefully round 18. Seems absolutely terrible, a miscarriage.

They always say it happens when it's the "least convenient" time. Well, I start with my new boss on Feb 28th, and my period is on March 1st. And I do have some symptoms, I think, but that's probably just misleading. Let's hope I don't finish my probation period with my new boss and am pregnant instead, haha.

Round 17, impatient....

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