My personality gets in the way of others.

I don't think the way it happened in your story is normal. If you happen to be chatting and in that conversation you mention what you'd like as a baby shower gift, I'm fine with that, but I find it very pushy now.

Yeah, exactly. I don't think you can just demand something like that, but you wrote that the f***ing kid is only a week old, which I find pretty intense, haha. In your situation, I'd just let it rest for now and pick it up later. I think pushing it away completely is going a bit too far, and there must have been some nice moments too, right? I wouldn't be dealing with it right now for sure.

Thanks anon ;-) those are really sweet words.

I think there’s actually quite a difference in how people do it with cards. Judging by your word choice, are you from Belgium? As far as I’ve seen in the Netherlands, it’s not really common to mention something like that. I haven’t come across it in my own search for cards either.

By the way, the idea that I matured early isn’t quite right. I was actually quite late to grow up. You often see that if you grow up in a certain environment, it’s hard to break free from it. Even though my relationship with my boyfriend eventually fell apart (he cheated on me with my sister), he ultimately helped me become more mature and develop. Otherwise, I probably would have stayed stuck in the same life my mother has lived for years.

The bad relationship with my mom now isn’t just a clash of personalities. I was able to break free from that environment as her only child. I finished school, did further studies, and now have a nice job, a wonderful family, and a good life overall. I’m not at the top of the ladder, but certainly not at the bottom either.

Even though I had a tough childhood, I don’t really blame her for anything. She just made a lot of bad choices that hurt her children. I think she did her best in her own way. Unfortunately, she’s also very quick to jealousy, just like my sister. My sister had to have my boyfriend because he had a good job and we used to do fun things together. Her boyfriend didn’t have any of that. Unfortunately, he fell for it. It didn’t last long though. They broke up soon after, and she eventually had a child with a new boyfriend. A really nice guy whom our whole family still visits. Then, years later, she cheated on him with her ex whom she had left for mine. She had a child with him too, and they’re married now. Back then, she claimed that same guy had given her a miscarriage. Which she had lied about... I haven’t had contact with her for years now, much to my mom’s annoyance. But I don’t want deceit and manipulation near my kids. So she’s basically like my mom always was, and now she’s back to square one.

My mom also can’t stand that I’ve moved on. Even though I always supported her, even when she was unreasonable. She let things get so bad that she had to rely on the food bank.
I then gave her my debit card so she’d have access to money in case of emergencies for groceries or gas.
One day I visit her, take her shopping, and leave behind two full bags of groceries.
Instead of saying thanks... she says, "Now that you’ve bought a new big house, I hope you don’t start walking next to your shoes."

Pure jealousy. I’ve come a long way to achieve what I have. I do things for others without asking for anything in return. And then you get this again...
"I don’t have it, so I won’t wish it on you either" or something like that... just be happy for someone and be grateful for what you get.

That big house didn’t just appear out of nowhere. I literally had to fight for it. And we’re only talking about how big it is, because she doesn’t see that it didn’t cost a damn thing (relatively speaking). Big... must have been very expensive...

But anyway, we’re drifting off topic :-P
I was just so happy with your somewhat positive reaction. And now I’m giving away unnecessary information that doesn’t really matter that much. Although it might give a slightly better insight.

Maybe I should start writing that book after all :-P

@ anonymous
I didn't necessarily have a very close bond with my little brother. We didn't grow up together and there's hardly any contact.
Should his girlfriend really be the one putting in the effort to bring his family together, since he does nothing about it?
But for now, it doesn't have to be me. Maybe later. First, I'm going to give birth, rest, and let my hormones settle down :-P They don't exactly help in situations like this.
I still don't know if I'll be the one to take the first step. We'll see.

Hahaha yes indeed (writing a book)

But how much can a person take? Amai... living proof here! Chapeau!!! Hat's off to you .

These aren't even that bad. The norm is different, but I'll spare you all the horror stories :-)
It would get way too private. Even my boyfriend doesn't know about all that mess, so it'd be weird to share all that here. It's a closed book, and the book I'm writing now (metaphorically) is much more pleasant. Sometimes you just have to let the past be what it is. It remains part of you, but it doesn't have to define your life.

No, definitely not... but it's still important to talk to someone about it, okay... giving it a place is good... but don't swallow it inside yourself... Ale, I find this already quite enough... let alone the other part of your story
How old are you?

It's not bottled up, okay. The past has already been discussed in detail (even if it wasn't voluntary), worked through, confronted, and condemned. So now it's closed, crossed out, and moving on.

The few people who know about the past have been told by me not to bring it up or keep digging it up again. It was a long time ago, and I don't want it to continue playing a big role in my life. I'm happy now with who I am and how my life looks. I don't want to stay stuck in a victim role or be seen as such by my surroundings. I want them to get to know me as I am, without the past influencing that.

I'm already 35, sigh. :-

Then we'll let the midwife in
I'm also 35 and pregnant with our second
I wish you lots of success... a nice delivery and a cloud-like baby
Lots of love xxx

Thank you! :-D
You too, of course. Enjoy all the beautiful moments you’ve already experienced and will experience again.

Wishing all the pregnant and new moms and dads here lots of happiness with their little bundle of joy.

Oh, so clumsy of me! Everyone has been anonymous. 123, can you add a bit more to this topic? I can't keep up with who's who anymore, haha!

I can even see some names

Thank you so much 131767 xxx

I see everyone's name temporarily. But it doesn't really matter to me. I don't have anything to hide. It's not like I was planning to confess to a murder or something :-P
And I won't personally attack anyone for what they say here. Everyone can say whatever they want. I'd rather have an honest answer than just chatting along to not hurt someone's feelings or something.

If there's a lot of text but not much content, that's coming from me! Haha

*Fucking

Sorry, I think it's the hormones...