Scared of having a baby with cleft lip/palate

How big is the chance that your baby has it too? And if your little one is otherwise healthy, I don't see the problem. Are you experiencing any issues with your cleft? My daughter was also born with a cleft, even though my partner and I don't have it. She doesn't have any problems with it. I would really let this go because there are worse things that children are born with that can't be cured.

You could have it operated on, right? My former teacher had this corrected when they were an adult, and you could obviously see a scar, but it wasn’t exaggerated at all.

Besides that, I wouldn’t be too worried about it. If that’s the only thing your baby has, it’s not really a big deal, is it? Of course, you want your baby to be “perfect,” but there are also babies born with mental or severe physical issues, so this really seems like just a small thing.

Greetings

I totally get your fear... I think some people here act like it's no big deal, but bullying, staring, it can all have lifelong consequences. You wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially not on your own child...

Suppose it really is like that... because you can't control that. What could you do to minimize any potential mental damage?
You could look for a plastic surgeon with tons of experience in that area.
You can help your child become mentally stronger. And instead of taking any teasing personally, they can see it as a reflection of the teaser (attention-seekers and followers—how low can you get?).
It's unpleasant, but pretty normal that people stare when you look different. Maybe you can put a positive spin on it when people stare too long. For example: "Wow, they can fix things so nicely these days, right?"
And above all, try to make sure your child is assertive (with practice if needed) and has a few comebacks ready, so that bullying is stopped in its tracks before it even starts.
I know what it's like to be bullied, but I don't play the victim anymore; bullies aren't any better than me. Just look at bullies on Facebook—either they've turned their lives around or they're still sad and lonely
Ultimately, what matters more is what you can do for others, not how you look.

That's also quite beautifully said, Betty.

Dear Abbigail,

I completely understand your fear; I share it myself. Cleft lip/palate is more intense than many people think. "You can just have it operated on," sure, but how "normal" is it to have a baby of a few months old undergo surgery? How "normal" is it for a child to visit the hospital every year to see the cleft team? How "normal" is it that the child can't go to a regular orthodontist but has to go to the hospital? How "normal" is it that a teenager has to undergo such operations because, due to the cleft, various things don't grow properly (e.g., the jaw)? I don't think it's "normal," and the comment "it can be operated on anyway" is extremely short-sighted and probably written by someone without personal experience. You want your child to grow up without all these things (and these are just various examples from me; I only had a cleft lip, so how much more do you have if you have a cleft jaw and/or palate?). In short, I understand your fear!

I read on the internet that you should take folic acid for more than a month before pregnancy and definitely continue taking it for at least three months while pregnant.

What did the GP ultimately say?

I also understand your restlessness and fear... but as long as you haven't held your little one in your arms, it's all guessing.
Just like many physical abnormalities. The "what if..." question plays in your head and will only get an answer after the birth.
Please don't project your fear onto your baby.... what happened to you won't automatically happen to your child.
I also know someone in this situation... operated on and never had any problems.
Stand strong together and give lots of love, that's the most important thing.