Babysitting and daycare
Gastouder
Linda1311
Hi everyone,
I work in healthcare myself, so I have irregular shifts. I work 28 hours.
When I start working again, my baby will be about 16 weeks old (baby is born July 3rd, I'll start working again around Oct 24th, maternity leave + vacation).
My partner works 5 or 6 days a week. (Right now, my partner often works extra on Saturdays for half a day or full day; if I have to work on Saturdays, this will change.) On weekends, grandparents, sister, etc., can help out, but during the week it's harder. My fixed day off is Monday, and I might get 1 or 2 extra days off during the week if I have to work weekends.
Since we can't expect much help from grandparents (they still work themselves), we're relying on a daycare provider (we've already found one).
I'm really dreading this. I feel like a "bad" mom if my baby has to go to daycare 3 or 4 days a week. (Of course, it depends on my schedule for the exact number of days.)
Parental leave is unpaid or less paid leave, so maybe not an option right away...
Do you have any info and/or tips for me, so I feel better or maybe can arrange something extra I haven't thought of yet?
Thanks in advance.
Greetings, Linda
I work in healthcare myself, so I have irregular shifts. I work 28 hours.
When I start working again, my baby will be about 16 weeks old (baby is born July 3rd, I'll start working again around Oct 24th, maternity leave + vacation).
My partner works 5 or 6 days a week. (Right now, my partner often works extra on Saturdays for half a day or full day; if I have to work on Saturdays, this will change.) On weekends, grandparents, sister, etc., can help out, but during the week it's harder. My fixed day off is Monday, and I might get 1 or 2 extra days off during the week if I have to work weekends.
Since we can't expect much help from grandparents (they still work themselves), we're relying on a daycare provider (we've already found one).
I'm really dreading this. I feel like a "bad" mom if my baby has to go to daycare 3 or 4 days a week. (Of course, it depends on my schedule for the exact number of days.)
Parental leave is unpaid or less paid leave, so maybe not an option right away...
Do you have any info and/or tips for me, so I feel better or maybe can arrange something extra I haven't thought of yet?
Thanks in advance.
Greetings, Linda
Replies
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Anonymous Guest #2
Hi! I also work in healthcare, 24 to 32 hours a week. My daughter goes to a daycare center where they have flexible contracts. I have a contract for about 2 full days, which I can also use as 4 mornings, for example. One afternoon a week grandma takes care of her with lots of love because I need to be available for calls then. Otherwise, her father takes care of her when I work evenings or weekends.
I don't feel bad about it at all. My daughter is an only child, and in this way, she also learns to play with other kids. Plus, she likes going there; we drop her off laughing and pick her up laughing. That's reassuring for us.
The first time was tough, of course, but after a while, you gain confidence that they're well cared for. It takes some getting used to, but it becomes normal quickly.
Greetings! -
Love #3
Hi Linda1311,
Our little girl goes to daycare for 4 full days a week. I also felt really guilty at first (she’s been there since her first birthday, and now she’s 19 months old). She loves it there—she plays, explores, and even jokes with the caregivers. When I hear and see (through their app) how much fun she’s having, it makes everything okay. It took me about 3 months to really get used to it, and she felt that too—she developed separation anxiety at the time. But it’s just a matter of pushing through. I found it reassuring to call once in a while to check how things were going.
Hope this helps.
Trust your gut
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Mandy Guest #4
Your little one has been at daycare since 3 months and 4 days. If it just can't be any other way, you don't have to feel like a bad mom, okay? I notice that he does well there and learns a lot; he even misses it when he's home for too long.
Besides, there are many countries where it's normal to do 5 days and no one becomes a worse parent because of it.
At first, it can sometimes be a bit of a problem with eating. Mine didn't want to eat at daycare, but then I gave him breast milk there, and within a week it got better. You have the right to breastfeeding time, and you can pump, but you can also personally feed him.
It also varies per child and parent how smoothly the transition goes.
But you shouldn't feel guilty; your child will surely enjoy it, and if you get to know the caregivers, you'll trust it more too. (Okay, I'm also kind of an emo woman... haha... So I didn't find it dramatic to send him away. It was a bit weird after a period of being together constantly though.) -
boompje Guest #5
My daughter is going to daycare from 16 weeks and 4 days. Flexible nanny. And I felt guilty at first. Still feel it sometimes. But she's super happy there. Loves playing and the nanny and partner are crazy about her.
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