Forum Nice chat

19 and baby wish

38 replies · page 2 of 2

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  1. Madelene #21

    Hi Brenda, I'd say if you've been with your boyfriend for a long time and you're both ready, why not? Wait for what? My grandma was 18 when she had her first child and she's still happily married to my grandpa. She married him at 20, and now they're in their 80s and still happily together. It can work at a young age, but you do need to be mentally ready for it.

  2. Madelene #22

    I don't look at age; it's about how mature you are. Someone who is 19 might be ready for kids earlier than someone else of the same age.

  3. :-) #23

    Totally agree with Madelene.
    I was 17 and consciously pregnant.
    I now have a nice son of 17 and a daughter almost 13.

  4. Doei #24

    You make kids together, so you'll have to talk to your partner about it.

  5. Madelene #25

    If things are going well and you have a serious, strong relationship, you don't even need to discuss it. It just makes sense when kids come along. You just feel it automatically—whether your partner is ready for kids, at least that's how it was for us. I have two little girls; we never talked about it beforehand. They just came along and were welcomed with love by both him and me. Now we want a third, and that one we consciously discussed and planned, but not with my other two kids.
    Greetings, Madelene.

  6. Linda #26

    Haha, well, if kids had suddenly appeared out of nowhere without me even discussing it with my partner, he wouldn’t have appreciated that at all! Isn’t it a conscious decision whether or not to have kids, whether or not to use contraception? It’s a choice—it doesn’t just happen on its own, and I think it’s really respectful to make that choice together!

  7. Madelene #27

    I never used contraception, and my husband knew that too.
    My husband actually found it weird to talk about it; for him it was logical: I didn't use contraception, so kids could happen.
    Nowadays people think way too deep about whether or not to have kids.
    Back in the day people just had children, it wasn't made such a big deal like it is nowadays.
    By the way, I never took the pill, and not even now

  8. Madelene #28

    I don't get the joke anyway, but hey, everyone's got their own sense of humor.

  9. Linda #29

    That’s possible, but that’s also a choice, right? If you don’t take contraception or use condoms, you know you could get pregnant. That’s a choice.

  10. :-) #30

    Yes Madelene, that's true, my husband has 13 siblings, and we're 5 kids from my parents.
    Now it's 2.5 per couple.
    It's indeed talked about a lot and for a long time.
    My husband and I hope to have at least 5 kids together in the future.

  11. Madelene #31

    Linda, becoming a mom was also my choice; I just thought it was a given, I knew it from a young age. But my husband and I didn't really discuss or talk it through extensively. We just felt it out with each other. He never said he didn't want kids, never asked when to start. Just like it used to be back in the day, I guess. How nice and cozy, Ezzie, that you both come from large families It's nice to hear that someone else shares my opinion and sees it the same way. Indeed, nowadays people overthink too much and too deeply. You can't really prepare for becoming a mother; you just have to experience it, I think

  12. :-) #32

    Yeah, definitely, if we’re going to deliberate for years because there are so many other things on the agenda...
    I really do understand.
    Having job and house security etc. is important, raising a kid is already tough enough, and doing it without money on top of that is even harder hehe.
    I was lucky to have a job and a house of my own at 19. My son was 1 and we had everything.

  13. Madelene #33

    Yes, of course, Ezzie, you do need to have a job, and naturally a house and stability—that goes without saying. I already had a job at a very young age; my husband was older. We’re 11 years apart, so he already had a job, and that helps too. I was 22, he was 11 years older. If you have all those securities—a job, a house, everything—why hesitate to start? But well, everyone is different. Personally, I just don’t quite get it. I think it’s strange to think about it for so long and still hesitate years later whether or not to. It only makes the idea of starting a family more difficult. And people who say they’re waiting for the right moment—that moment never comes. There is no perfect moment. It’s always a big step in your life, whether you start now or later; it’s the same. You just have to want it with all your heart. That’s how I think about it, anyway. Greetings, Madelene

  14. Elvira #34

    Hi Brenda, you should follow your own feelings and not let your surroundings influence you!

    I'm in a similar boat myself, maybe people who want to give me some tips
    I'm also 19 years old, my boyfriend is 22, and we've been together for 2 years. I've always wanted to be a young mom. I've tried talking to my boyfriend about it a few times, but he keeps changing the subject because it's getting close and he's afraid his free time will be lost. Still, he does say he wants kids too.
    Can you help me?

  15. Monkey #35

    I think "detoxing" is just a myth.
    I stopped taking the pill in May 2012 and by July 2012 I was already 5 weeks pregnant.
    My mom told me I still needed to "detox," but the doctor said that's not true

    Good luck anyway, and hopefully you'll have some good news soon!

  16. Madelene #36

    The longer you wait or think about it,
    the more bears you'll see on the road.
    Or the more reasons you'll find unconsciously to put it off.
    So I'd say take the leap, of course, if you're fully behind it, then go for it.
    I wouldn't talk about it too much.
    You give men time to start doubting.
    With men, some things just need to happen spontaneously.
    But that's just my personal opinion.
    Everyone thinks differently about this, of course
    Greetings, Madelene
    Good luck with your decision.

  17. Linda #37

    Hi Elvira, think about whether there are still things you’d really like to do before having kids, or things your partner would like to do. When my partner wasn’t ready for kids yet, we planned a long trip, which also kept my “rattling ovaries” under control for a while. In 2013, we took a 4-month trip together, and afterward I realized I wanted to wait a bit too—suddenly, that freedom felt so nice! Earlier this year, we traveled for another 3 months, and that’s when I stopped the pill (of course, after discussing it with my partner). At first, he was quite nervous, so we still used protection sometimes, but after the trip, I got pregnant right away! Now I’m already halfway through!

    I’m really glad we took those trips. We don’t have much savings left now, and I don’t have a job, but I don’t see that as a big deal. We can buy what we need, and beyond that, love is what matters most.

    For us, traveling was the key; for you or your partner, it might be something different. But try setting goals together. Let him know how much you want it, but don’t put pressure on him—that usually backfires. I think it’ll happen naturally! Especially since you’re still so young, there’s no real rush, right?

  18. Nadine Guest #38

    I'm feeling the same way. I'm also 19 and my boyfriend is 23. We've been together for 4.5 years.
    I work part-time and I'm currently working towards my 2nd diploma. It will be finished next year. But my boyfriend and I have had strong cravings for a baby for half a year now. My boyfriend is studying again and also works part-time. I'm trying to push myself to keep taking the pill for another year because I know I should probably wait another year... even though this is incredibly difficult. So I understand what you mean. But as soon as you think you're ready, you are!
    Greetings Nadine
    P.S. Wishing you lots of strength with the loss of your mother.. ?

  19. jessie95 #39

    Hooi I totally relate to your feelings.
    Even though my husband and I are closer in age haha.
    We knew each other for 3 months and already wanted kids back then. I was 18, and a year after we met, we got married. Now I'm 20 and pregnant with our first baby (my husband is 37). It took a while, but I'm glad it took longer. You can think things through and let people know what you're doing beforehand so it's not a shock for your family and friends.
    I'd say good luck!

    Xxxx

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