Forum Health

What now?

6 replies

tessGuest ·
Good afternoon everyone,

I got pregnant unexpectedly. Now I'm in a relationship where I'm constantly being threatened and belittled by my partner. I'm increasingly feeling that I need to take steps to protect my child and my health, and to keep myself safe. But I don't know how to do this. He has previously stated that if I were to leave, he would first take my child away from me and then bury me. I have absolutely nothing—no money, no friends or family, and no job. By the way, the father of the child and I are not married, and we don't have a registered partnership either. Can anyone advise me on what to do?

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    I think he can't take it away if he hasn't acknowledged the child, but I'm not sure.

  2. tess started this #3

    If he doesn't legally recognize the child, well, no, but he's not going to care about what a judge or the police say anyway, since he thinks he's above the law. Plus, I'm afraid for my life.

  3. Anonymous Guest #4

    You can already go to the police because he’s threatening you. File a report for the threat, and also talk to your GP—they can help you figure out the best steps to stay safe. Definitely leave him; that behavior won’t change, and it certainly won’t get better when you’re pregnant. Imagine what he might do to your little one. Make sure you have support from family or friends, and if necessary, go to a domestic violence shelter. You deserve a man who treats you with care and respect. Any man who belittles, threatens, or in the worst case even abuses a woman doesn’t deserve the title of man and should crawl back under the rock he came from and be ashamed of himself.

  4. Anonymous Guest #5

    Ps, without your permission, he can't recognize your child.

  5. Anonymous Guest #6

    It's sweet that you replied, but she won't leave; she won't dare to, and there's no one who can help her. Very sad, because there's no one she can rely on, as far as I understand. I'm curious what steps you're going to take now.

  6. Anonymous Guest #7

    There are plenty of organizations in the Netherlands she can turn to if she has no one else, but you're right—she needs to be brave enough to take that step. I just hope she understands that she doesn't have to stay in this situation.

    Regarding recognition: https://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/erkenning-kind

    Info on "stay away from my child":
    http://www.blijfvanmijnlijfparkstad.nl There are more locations, but at least this one has a phone number listed.

    https://www.slachtofferhulp.nl/geweld/delicten/bedreiging/

    Please just seek help for yourself and your child before things get out of hand. It might feel scary now, but you'll come out stronger in the end. That man doesn't deserve you if he's threatening your life.

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