Medical
Eug bbz
dani
Dear girls,
In February, at 7 weeks pregnant, I had brown bleeding. We had an ultrasound and the little heart was beating. At week 10, there was old blood again which turned into bright blood. Another ultrasound unfortunately showed a miscarriage was underway. I was told to come back in 4 days to see if my uterus was clean, and it was.
3 days later, I had severe pain. I called the midwife and she said it could still be afterpains. I called the GP because I felt something wasn't right. I was allowed to go straight to the gynecologist, who did an internal exam and saw something, but he couldn't say what. The next day, I had to come back for a camera examination which was very painful. It was pregnancy tissue that had to be scraped out, and I was allowed to go home again.
3 days later, Easter weekend. I was happily cleaning and got a spontaneous visit. My brother-in-law came for my friend, but she wasn't there yet.. I gave him a cup of coffee and said I'm going upstairs because I have such stomach pain.. And upstairs I collapsed. He called 112 and I was operated on directly in the hospital.
There was still an embryo in my right fallopian tube. They had never looked for it because it's rare to have both in the uterus and in the fallopian tube... The artery in my uterus had burst. I had 2.5 liters of blood in my belly and around my organs. I lost my right fallopian tube. It almost killed me.
Intensely sad, afraid it will happen again. Afraid of not being able to get pregnant anymore...
Who else has had an ectopic pregnancy? How do you cope with it?
In February, at 7 weeks pregnant, I had brown bleeding. We had an ultrasound and the little heart was beating. At week 10, there was old blood again which turned into bright blood. Another ultrasound unfortunately showed a miscarriage was underway. I was told to come back in 4 days to see if my uterus was clean, and it was.
3 days later, I had severe pain. I called the midwife and she said it could still be afterpains. I called the GP because I felt something wasn't right. I was allowed to go straight to the gynecologist, who did an internal exam and saw something, but he couldn't say what. The next day, I had to come back for a camera examination which was very painful. It was pregnancy tissue that had to be scraped out, and I was allowed to go home again.
3 days later, Easter weekend. I was happily cleaning and got a spontaneous visit. My brother-in-law came for my friend, but she wasn't there yet.. I gave him a cup of coffee and said I'm going upstairs because I have such stomach pain.. And upstairs I collapsed. He called 112 and I was operated on directly in the hospital.
There was still an embryo in my right fallopian tube. They had never looked for it because it's rare to have both in the uterus and in the fallopian tube... The artery in my uterus had burst. I had 2.5 liters of blood in my belly and around my organs. I lost my right fallopian tube. It almost killed me.
Intensely sad, afraid it will happen again. Afraid of not being able to get pregnant anymore...
Who else has had an ectopic pregnancy? How do you cope with it?
Replies
-
Sky1987 #2
Hi Dani,
What a terrible story. I've experienced something similar. You can read the whole story on my profile. Try to stay positive, even though that's really hard. Time heals wounds! Sounds cliché, but it's true. How are you feeling now?
Love, -
dani started this #3
After a long time, I'm back on the forum.
My relationship is under a lot of pressure. My boyfriend has such a trauma from it that he doesn't feel able to try again.
I'm 30 now, and it's been over a year. I can't let it go; I really feel like I only had one chance since my boyfriend really doesn't dare to try anymore. Yesterday, I told him that I'd have to pack my things because my desire for children is too big... I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I want it so badly. I tried to get it out of my head and lie to myself, but now I've made my stance clear. -
BabyinApril18 #4
I just went through the same thing in May. Lost my right fallopian tube and had internal bleeding after 7 weeks and 3 days of preg... On top of that, I'm in the pre-stage of cervical cancer, so I need to get pregnant before the surgery because then they'll remove part of my cervix, and I might never be able to carry a baby to term due to the pressure and amniotic fluid.. Gotta take the risk, but I want a baby so badly :'-( -
Cilia Guest #5
@Dani- this is all so intense! But I can totally imagine that your partner is really scared of losing you. After all, he almost did.
His fear is big.
Can't you request a conversation at the hospital with your partner and discuss everything properly? So that he can perhaps be reassured. Who says another man would take the risk with you? (Sounds maybe blunt but that's not what I mean) or do you want a sperm donor?
I would still have a good conversation with my partner in a calm way. -
Gast Guest #6
That's so awful. My aunt had something similar happen to her in the past—almost exactly like yours—and she also had one fallopian tube removed, but she still ended up having two healthy boys. So keep hoping! -
Anonymous Guest #7
Hi Dani.
What a tough situation. I’ve also lost a baby in the past due to medical issues and some pressure from my partner. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out between us.
It seems like your partner really cares about you and doesn’t want to lose you. That’s something to cherish. As mentioned above, go together with your partner to a doctor who can answer all your questions and take the time to explain everything. I suspect you can still have children, and you’ll likely be able to for at least another 10 years. Putting your good relationship at risk instead of talking things through clearly doesn’t make it easier to resolve your desire for children quickly.
I just want to say that calmly talking things through and finding solutions together to rebuild trust is so much better. I’m glad I spoke up about what happened to me years later with my partner at the time. Maybe our future together would have worked out if we had talked about it then, and we’d now be happy with kids. -
dani started this #8
Thanks for your messages. Unfortunately, he doesn't want to talk to a doctor about it. That's also because he doesn't have much trust in that.
It's indeed very conflicting because maybe someone else wouldn't want a child either if he hears my story..
My boyfriend and I can tell each other anything, so he also knows how much I want it, but he doesn't take any step to talk to someone other than just myself about it.
I'm also doubting myself, the nice things about having a child but also definitely the not-so-nice things, any potential limitations.
Anonymously, do you not have children now? -
Anonymous Guest #9
Hi Dani,
I've decided (8 years later) to just go for one child because, due to the medical events, I was told that although they said everything was fine back then, last year they told me it would be difficult. Although I find the choice hard because first not having a child because you don't want to grow up with a parent who doesn't want them. And now choosing to have a child without a father, which might be contradictory.
So I indeed don't have children yet. Because it's very hard to process the loss of a child and a relationship. But... I'm now 8 weeks pregnant with the second one, actually.
Add your reply
Share what helped you, or ask a question.
Sign in to join the conversation.
Continue with GoogleTakes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.