Forum Biechthoekje

My boyfriend doesn't want a baby.

24 replies · page 1 of 2

Loesje
Hi everyone.

As you can read, my boyfriend doesn't want a baby . If I get a positive ovulation test, I'm going to spoil my boyfriend. Is that wrong? I really want a baby, but he really doesn't. What should I do?

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. Loesje started this #2

    no one?

  2. kruimel #3

    Look for another guy?

    Good heavens, sorry about that..

  3. Loesje started this #4

    Sorry, I didn’t know you’d react like that. If you’ve been together for more than 7 years, you wouldn’t just leave your guy over 1/2/3, right?

  4. Lucky #5

    I’d definitely not try to get pregnant without him knowing.
    That would also likely mean he ends your relationship.

    Just have a calm, honest conversation with him. Ask why he doesn’t want kids and explain why you do.
    Don’t do anything you’ll regret later because you weren’t honest!

  5. Loesje started this #6

    Okay, but he knows I don't use the pill and still doesn't want to use a condom. And he knows I could get pregnant.

  6. Loesje started this #7

    I'm 24 myself and he's 26.

  7. Cutiex #8

    omg .. This is sooo bad, you can't sneak around and have sex when you're fertile while knowing your boyfriend doesn't want a baby.

    Yeah, talk it over again. If he really doesn't want one, you'll have to make a choice.

    Good luck

  8. Mandy7 #9

    Doesn't seem like such a smart idea, right? I've thought it over again. Does he maybe want children in the future?

  9. zarah Guest #10

    I would NEVER, EVER want to have a baby with someone who doesn't want a baby with me! Aside from the deception, this isn't good for the child either. Nice, being unwanted by your dad... And after a 7-year relationship, you should have known by now that he doesn't want kids. So if you want to be a responsible mom... talk to him about it properly... and I wouldn't call this sneaky spoiling but abusing.

    Good luck, there are more fish in the sea if he really sticks to his decision.

    Oh, I speak from experience!
    Only after a 6-year relationship did my husband finally want to have a baby together.

  10. Anne #11

    Wow, my jaw dropped here.

    Your child is not an object or something like that, girl.
    You should stand behind this together!

    I find that thought rather sickening, sorry.

  11. Irma 1987 #12

    Have you ever asked him why he doesn't want to??

    My husband didn't want to hear anything about it.

    But there comes a time when the clock starts ticking.

    But we have a wonderful son.

    Now pregnant with the second and I really love it.

    Your life with a baby changes.

    It doesn't mean you can't do anything anymore, but it's different.

  12. Nannie ❤ #13

    I already answered you yesterday in another thread regarding your question. You should talk to him about the divorce of his parents and whether this might be old wounds holding him back. Fear of what he can or can't offer the baby.

    Talk first before letting your own desires run wild. Because that karma could sour on you, girl. Seriously, think it through.

  13. Lizzy86 #14

    Yes

  14. proud_mommy #15

    I know people who have done that, 2 ladies. Both have 2 kids and are happy with their husbands.

  15. Anonymous Guest #16

    Unwanted becomes wanted too!!
    I got pregnant at 19 (unwanted) but we went for it!!
    Now we have a beautiful son whom we both truly can't live without.
    We also have our daughter now, and we really are a happy family.

    Since you're not pregnant or have become pregnant unintentionally and do have the choice, I'd really talk it over carefully with your boyfriend. I can imagine that since he's 26, he might want to wait a bit and isn't ready for a child right now. If he never wants one, then you'll have to make some choices...

  16. Ster #17

    Hey ladies, that guy knows she isn't on the pill and he refuses to use a condom to make sure he doesn't end up with kids. Sorry to say, but then you're just asking for your girlfriend to get pregnant, especially if she really wants a child and you know that. I don't think she should be the one making sure he doesn't get kids, but him himself! He doesn't want to take responsibility for not getting her pregnant, and if he doesn't, he'll just cut the cord, that's my opinion. Even if she doesn't use ovulation tests, she can easily get pregnant if you have unprotected sex. I find it really mean of him to keep telling her that the baby he's trying to conceive with her is unwanted.

    Therefore, I would leave him. What a jerk! You're creating a huge chance of having a baby but don't want it. Bah, you're still young, there are plenty of men who do want kids and don't pull such dirty tricks. You could also choose to become a single mother (BAM).

  17. Marlies #18

    I get that you're considering it. So many people get pregnant unplanned and end up being so happy with their child.

    But a ton of relationships fall apart after an unplanned baby arrives. Kids aren't easy. It takes a huge toll on you, your partner, and your relationship.

    And if you're also carrying around a big lie, the chances of you staying together are even smaller.

    Which could lead to a divorce, where the father might not be as interested in his kids as another man would be if he had wanted children himself.

    Long story short: don't do it.
    Talk about it. Tell him that's what you want. Also tell him that you're not tracking your ovulation (and make that true!), AND -here's the kicker- that you're currently fertile, and that he should prevent you from getting pregnant.

    If he decides to use condoms, I'd ask him if he wants kids in the future. If yes, then you wait. If no, then he can tie the knot on that decision. And then I'd leave him.

  18. debbels #19

    Maybe it's the reaction of an old cake, but you're only 24... Take your time! It's common for men to want kids later than women.
    Ask him first if he doesn't want them at all, or if he's just not ready yet. You're still super young and have years ahead to have kids.

  19. Anonymous Guest #20

    That's tough. Have a good talk with him, maybe with a trusted person around. Check if it works out financially? Where will you live? Will he be okay with the baby sleeping there? Etc. If all that isn't an issue, ask him why he doesn't want a child. Go babysit your friend's kid together. Show him how fun it is! It'll work out!

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