Big baby wish

Hi Elvira,

I hear you. I totally get how much you want a baby; I felt the same way back then, and I'm 10 years older than you now. You're really young, and you still have to start studying or are currently studying. It's common for babies and studying not to mix because a baby is basically a full-time job, 7 days a week. Young mothers often drop out of their studies because they simply can't find the time to be 100% present and pass all their exams, often over a period of 4 years. You'd miss out on too much of your child that way. Plus, it's really nice to have a better-paying job after you've graduated, so that even if you end up single, you can properly support your own child.

Also, you shouldn't push your boyfriend at all on this. You don't want him to have a child just for you and then later regret it, right? A child is something you need to think carefully about for years, and you need the time and commitment for it.

If I were you, I'd focus on creating a solid future plan first; I did that back then too At your age, everything is unfortunately still too uncertain. I set a maximum age limit of 30 for myself back then, meaning I wanted my life in order before having a baby, and that was a good starting point. You can of course set that age higher or lower for yourself, whatever you prefer

Good luck!

You get that done quickly! That's great! Many of us are always busy until 10-12 PM..

By the way, it's often recommended to wait until you're halfway through your 20s before having kids. Then fewer hormones are raging through your body, which is better for the child You can also handle the pain of childbirth better.

Hi Elvira,

What's really important before you even start thinking about kids is having a good chat with your partner. You both need to be ready for parenthood, because it's not always easy. And I don't just mean the sleepless nights, but also the worries that come with being a parent.

Besides that, I don't think it matters whether you're 19, 25, or 30. You should do what feels right for you. Having and raising a child is always tough and comes with challenges.

If you can provide a stable environment and are both ready for parenthood, I'd go for it. My mom was 17 and my dad was 18, and I've never lacked anything; they're still together now. I was 25 when I became a mom, and I thought that was a nice age. But this is very personal! I wanted to be a young mom because I saw advantages in my parents' situation. But I wasn't too young because I wasn't ready at 18 or 19.

Oh, and I'm still studying while working, and I'm pregnant with our second. I hope to be done in February. Yes, it's tough with a little one, but not impossible!

Oh yeah, then the situation is indeed very different. It's scary for everyone, including the new mom. You don't know what's coming, and that's scary. But you get so much back in return, cliché as it may sound. Of course, a lot will change and you can't just pull an all-nighter anymore, but there are usually plenty of moments where you can still do your own thing. I think those are really important as a parent.

I think a lot of men have that fear, hihi, mine did too when I started talking about kids. Still, he sports 3 to 4 times a week and has a guys' night out every now and then. I have my sports nights and my evenings with friends. You just have to coordinate more because someone always needs to be home.

Good luck with getting pregnant!

Gosh, that varies from person to person, what works and what doesn't for them. My husband and I just agreed on set evenings when he would work out and when I would. If I want to have a nice meal with friends, I let him know in time, and he does the same if he wants to do something with his friends. Besides that, we regularly go out to eat nice meals ourselves, sometimes with the kids and sometimes without.

I also noticed that once our daughter was born, he had less need to fight for his freedom. Being at home with his family became, and still is, more important. The well-being of our child always comes first, for him too, and I think that's important. It's mainly the unknown that makes them hold on so tightly to things like freedom, etc.

And you know, if we have a birthday celebration and I want to head home in time because my daughter needs to go to bed reasonably early, he can just stay. Usually, he doesn't even, but he has the option, and I think that's more important. He can choose for himself whether to stay or not.

Exciting, good luck and I'd love to hear how it goes..