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Discussion about the age difference between me and my boyfriend...

18 replies

RoseanneGuest ·
Hey everyone

My name is Roseanne, I'm 24 and together with Bastiaan, 31, we already have one daughter and our second child, a boy, is on the way. We've been together for 6 years..
Today at the supermarket, I ran into an old acquaintance of mine. 'Nice,' I thought.. Well, not really.. She had never met my boyfriend before, and thus had never seen our daughter either We were chatting for a bit when my boyfriend came back from the store with diapers and groceries.. Well, normally you introduce yourself to the other person.. Then once my old acquaintance asked how old we were, my boyfriend said I'm 31.. She was shocked and said it wasn't normal that I, at 24, was living with someone who was 31 and having children.. I was completely speechless.. Someone who hadn't seen me since VMBO (pre-vocational education) and who always had boyfriends 6 years older.. (I remember clearly she was 14 and her boyfriend at the time was 20..) Now I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 31, and she's saying it's not normal.. Come on, I definitely had a big argument with her for about half an hour.. She asked how things were going and how old our child was. Our daughter is 19 months old and I'm 28 weeks pregnant.. And that wasn't normal either.. I then packed my things and left... People can make such a drama.. As long as you're happy and nothing is wrong, isn't everything okay!? Or am I seeing this wrong?

In short, it was about the fact that I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 31.. And that that wasn't normal/isn't normal

Has anyone else also had a boyfriend whose parents are about the same age as themselves.. And also gotten such weird responses?

Replies

  1. Elineke #2

    That's totally normal, girl. I'm also 6 years older than my husband. I don't like those crazy people, it's scandalous.

    Greetings

  2. Elfje #3

    Well, I say! What does a number really matter? I'm 14 years older than my husband. We had a child when I was 19 and he was 33. The only thing I doubted back then was what others would think. But we quickly threw that overboard. Now, six years later, no one has made a big deal out of it! Everyone is actually very positive and sees that we're happy together. That's what matters, right?

  3. :-) #4

    What a dumb old classmate you have, seriously! Haha
    That guy doesn't make sense at all!

    I'm 35. My man is 49. Never had a single nasty comment. My kids are from a previous relationship where I was 17 and the father of my kids was 26. Also never any weird comments.
    The kids are 17 and 13.
    We want a baby... Who knows, maybe soon he'll ask if it was an accident. Haha. Far from it.

    So just walk past that girl next time.

    You're lucky! That's what counts. Age doesn't matter at all.

  4. Elineke #5

    Hey Roseanne,
    I'm 24 and my husband is 30.
    I've gotten some weird questions before, but I don't care.
    I have a 3-year-old boy and a 3-month-old girl now.

  5. Elineke #6

    I even got questions when I was pregnant with the first one, it wasn't planned at all because I thought, what are you getting yourself into.
    Even with the second one, I got all those questions. People always want to complain about everything.

  6. samantha #7

    So ridiculous! I’ve never experienced that myself. I’m 12 years older than my partner—I was 20 when I met him, now I’m 26 and he’s almost 39. We have a 4.5-year-old son and I’m pregnant with our second miracle. Let them talk; they’re probably just jealous.

  7. kruimel #8

    hahahhah what nonsense!
    just let them talk rubbish

    I'm 23 and my boyfriend is almost 33
    our little girl is 7.5 months old and we're going to start a brother/sister in half a year.
    so, a schan-da-lig-e situation hihihi!

    xKruimel

  8. Anonymous #9

    The age difference with my husband is barely anything; we're only a year and a half apart, but I don't think age really matters. A friend of mine is 36 and her husband just turned 51. And they have one of the strongest relationships I know in my circle. But reading your story, I think, maybe she's a bit jealous? Maybe she wants what you have—a little family with a man and two beautiful kids. You never know what emotions lie behind a reaction. Anyway, I wouldn't stress about it. You're happy, and that's what counts, not what someone else thinks

  9. Anonymous Guest #10

    The age difference between me and my wife is 3 years, but I know lots of couples with 8-10 or 12 years difference... What that friend claims is pure nonsense!
    It's most common that the woman is about 3 to 5 years younger than the partner. Oh my, with you two it's 7 years. And even if it's 12 years, no one needs to make a comment... And who is she to say what her made-up version of "normal" is?

    And her stance on your children... man, man, I won't even respond to that...


    You just had a jealous friend. The only mistake you made was arguing with her. Just let such people be... She probably has some problems of her own she doesn't know how to deal with... misery loves company...

  10. Madelene #11

    What nonsense, how much you differ in age. Do some people have nothing better to do? Then give stupid comments about the age difference between two people. It has never really interested or bothered me. My husband and I are 13 years apart and I find it quite nice, you can build a good relationship with such men, they treat you like their little princess I met my husband when I was 17 and from then on we had a relationship. He really treated me like his little princess and still does It's about the love between two people, then age doesn't matter.

  11. Madelene #12

    It’s usually jealousy because someone only gets annoyed when they’re jealous and actually want what you have. She probably wants it just as much herself and is jealous of your picture. With that comment, she hopes you’ll start doubting yourself. Disgusting people like that.

  12. jessie95 #13

    hahahahhhhaa
    I got married at 19 to my 36-year-old husband.
    I'm now 20 and pregnant with our first baby.
    We've never really had any comments about the age difference. My parents can get along with him, but yeah, maybe because they don't care that much ahahahahahhhah

  13. Esra♡♥ #14

    HAHA girls.. my husband and I have a 25-year age difference!! I'm 27 now, he's 52.. well, he looks very sporty and young for his age.. we've been married for four years and I really benefit from the age gap between us. I learn from his life experience and I keep him sporty and young... we go to the gym regularly together and he looks like Vin Diesel / Mike Tyson at 52... hahaha so what does age say??? Oh yeah... and we have a 1-year-old daughter.. so if that lady in question were standing in front of me, I think she'd have a stroke, haha. Well, he could have been my father..but hey, who cares!!! I'm very happy with it... a very successful marriage, you could call it.. so don't worry about it... xxx

  14. jessie95 #15

    See? Older men are just nicer, hahaha.

  15. Butterfly2bloom #16

    Ooooh, this all sounds so familiar. I'm 32, he's 51. The best comment I've heard is that they guess I'm older and he's younger. You should see their faces when they hear the ages to crack you up.
    As someone already mentioned above, don't let jealous and short-sighted people get to you. From what I hear, you're happy, your husband is happy, and your child(ren) are happy. What more could you wish for!?!

  16. Blauwdeb #17

    What nonsense! I wouldn't let it bother me at all. Age is just a number. It's such a shame that people can't just be happy for you. If you can't say something nice or normal, better to say nothing at all?!!

    Cheer up, girl, don't let it get to you!

  17. Miss Butterfly Guest #18

    My husband is five years older than me. Back in the day, everyone thought that was a lot (or even too much) because we’ve been together for twelve years, so I was 17 and he was 23 then. My parents never had a problem with it because I was always mentally much older than my age. The older you get, the smaller that age gap seems. We’re now 29 and 34, which is the same difference, but it feels much less significant. Our daughter is almost 2, and the second one is due in June.

    To be honest: as a mom, I’d have a big problem if my 14-year-old daughter came home with a 20-year-old boyfriend... but if you’re 24: so what? :-) That’s really different, you know. At that age, the relationship is definitely equal. I teach 14- to 18-year-olds: 14-year-olds are generally not really adults yet (maybe 1 percent?).

  18. Marlies #19

    I was 19 and my boyfriend 25. He already had a 3.5-year-old son and another baby on the way. Well, if that's not scandalous, I don't know what is.

    And yet, I got a lot of understanding from my surroundings. Whenever I explain and tell people that we've been together for 5 years while his youngest son is 4.5, that situation always comes up. Love is love. And there's nothing you can do about it with your common sense.

    So we're 6 years apart. And I don't think that's a big deal at all.
    Men often mature later.

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