End of relationship and pregnant

8 replies

Pitouke2 months ago

Hi ladies,

I need your advice. Almost 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend ended our 5-year relationship. I was supposed to get my period on Wednesday, but it didn't happen. I'm also feeling nauseous, can barely eat anything, and have no appetite. I didn't think much of it because it was probably due to the stress and the situation I'm in. To reassure myself, I took a test anyway, and it came back positive.

Now I really don't know what to do. I told my ex about it yesterday via a message on Facebook (he doesn't want to talk to me and ignores me). His response was that I should just carry on as usual. He doesn't believe me and isn't answering anymore. Should I give him time to process it? My ex-boyfriend already has a new girlfriend (just a week after our breakup).

I'm also not sure yet whether I want to keep the baby or not. I have mixed feelings about it and need some advice.

Replies

* 2 months ago #2

@pitouke,

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy... It's so sad that your partner has ended your relationship...
Do you have any support from your family or others, because how many weeks pregnant are you now? You know that an embryo already has a beating heart from 6 weeks.
Even if you're thinking about having an abortion, I would really think it over carefully.
What you're going to do, and once you've done it, there's no turning back...

I hope you consider not having an abortion...

Regarding your ex-partner, was there already trouble in your relationship for a while?
I hope he comes to his senses and at least talks to you, after all, it's also
his child...

Love, ju or wel mavanmi
Pitouke started this 2 months ago #3

@MavanMi

According to him, things haven't been going well for a while and his feelings have been fading more and more. But in my opinion, that's not the case, and I still really like him.

The problem is that he doesn't believe I'm pregnant. I even suggested doing a test with him there, but then he stopped responding. Maybe because it finally sank in that it's really true.

I've already thought about having an abortion. Because maybe it's better for both of us and for the unborn child. I haven't told anyone else except my ex-boyfriend. I'd really like to talk to him about it first, but that's easier said than done. I want to give him time to process it, but I also want to know what he thinks about it.
DeeDee012 2 months ago #4

Wow, that's intense! I don't think anyone can really give you good advice. After all, it's your life.

Talk it over with family and friends. You'll really need their support now, whatever you decide.

I don't know what I would do in your situation. I now know how hard it can be to raise a child with just two of you. Doing it alone seems even heavier, and you'd need all the help you can get. On the other hand, it's also the most beautiful thing there is. In other words, I can't give you advice.
* 2 months ago #5

@pitouke,

Yeah, that's a tough situation. I hope you can talk to him about it...
But if he's in a new relationship... I don't know if talking would even make sense..
What do you expect him to say? I really hope you don't have an abortion, the baby chose you as mom..
You never know how life will turn out. How old are you?

Love, ju or wel mavanmi
hartje 2 months ago #6

Pitouke, what a tough situation! Your thoughts must be bouncing back and forth, and it's important not to make any hasty decisions. You're carrying a life inside you, your mother-to-be. Who knows what your baby might bring and give you. In any case, lots of love, even though there's no dad around right now. Think it over carefully because regret isn't an option; life is too precious for that!

(I also got unexpectedly pregnant and was in a rough spot too, and my baby really helped me through it.)
Amber Guest 2 months ago #7

Wow, that's intense! Get in touch with your family and just follow your ex around. He knows this is serious now, so let him know he can talk to you now, or else you'll hold him accountable and make him pay! Jerk... And the fact that he's already got a new girlfriend after a week; I bet she's been around for a lot longer than you think!
Jorin 2 months ago #8

Wow, that's intense!!
It's really hard to give you advice.
Take your time to think it over, so you don't make a hasty decision.
I'd also suggest talking to someone else besides your ex for support.
Someone close to you. Like your parents, sibling, or a friend.
And do check out www.erishulp.nl indeed.
I'm 39 weeks pregnant myself. Fortunately in completely different/good circumstances.
But having a baby is a big miracle. It starts 'living' so quickly.
That's why I wouldn't advise an abortion. But that's easy for me to say as an outsider.
Listen to your own feelings. That's what matters most, I think.
And lastly, I wish you lots of strength in this situation.

Love
Mama off 2 Guest 3 months ago #9

Hi there. I totally get how you feel. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. From the start of my pregnancy, I had to have an abortion, but I didn't do it and listened to my heart. He said the same thing about our first child. In March, I got the keys to my own house. He said he missed us, but now I've found out that he has someone else. I even canceled plans with my best friend for a weekend getaway with my parents so that he could come along because he wanted to be a family. And he wanted to fight for us. But now I'm torn because I want my daughter to have her father. But since I'm having my third C-section and I felt everything during the first one, I've built up a fear of the OR, so I really need someone I can trust. That's why I'm taking my best friend. I find it a tough choice because I still have feelings for him.

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