Unplanned pregnancy, what to do?

Dear little anonymous one,

I notice that you mainly list the problems and catastrophize the outcomes (dreams shattered, 0.0% chance of a job, I can forget about graduating). I don't think that's entirely realistic. In the end, it always works out in the long run. I know a few people from my circle who also got their PhD with a child, and I know people with ADHD who function well without Ritalin (but with other adjustments like diet and more rest). There are always solutions.

Try to honestly imagine how you can achieve your goals. Perhaps then you'll be in a better position to make a good choice.

Please, I beg you, don't do it. I was sixteen and couldn't have made a better choice than keeping the little one! When I think about it now, I'd give anything to be able to keep the most precious thing you can get together as a man and a woman.

That's awful for you and your partner. Such a tough and important decision to make together. I think there are 3 scenarios:

1) Abortion: You'll (maybe with some guilt) finish your studies and achieve your dream job, but your partner might struggle with his religious beliefs about the baby being taken away. So talk it through well if you choose abortion. Your relationship will be tested, but if you truly love each other and communicate well, you'll come out stronger. Hopefully, you'll have your dream job by then, and your partner might have a job again too. Once you're both settled, you could try for another baby.

2) Keep the baby and try to finish your studies. Financially, it'll be tough. Hopefully, your partner will have a job by then to support you. Since he's working, you'll need to care for the baby. With ADHD, that might be hard because structure is important with a baby. You'll need help from your or his parents to finish your studies. Is that possible?

3) Keep the baby and stop studying, work with a bachelor's degree. What exactly do you mean by having 0% chance of a normal-paying job with just a bachelor? Is it like that in your field? Did you research this or is it just a guess? What do you consider a normal-paying job? I have a bachelor, and my partner, brother-in-law, and some friends have university degrees. They all earn less than me. So that doesn't mean much these days... You could always pick up your studies later.

Talk to your partner, your (in)parents, be open with each other, and try to find a solution together. That way, you can look back later knowing you made a good, well-considered decision.

I wish you lots of success and wisdom. Hopefully, you have people around you who don't judge but think in solutions and support you.

I'd advise you to reach out to Siriz. I just saw a poster of theirs somewhere. They help you decide whether you want to keep the baby or not. They can help you weigh all the pros and cons together. Good luck during this tough time.

This is a post from last year, girl. I find your comments pretty spicy when I read them, but everyone has their own opinion, and if someone believes in the soul and all that, that's fine too, and it's not necessarily scare-mongering...
Let people live their lives...
I hope your pregnancy is going well, girl. Enjoy it.

Exactly, you're right, but people are people... And sometimes people react in panic..

But I do understand your point of view..

I wish you a beautiful pregnancy