Going for a first baby, so very exciting! Who else has this feeling?

I was really nervous about becoming a mom, so: how will it all go once that baby comes out of my belly... Can I really do this, can I give him/her a nice childhood, etc. The nerves about this got to me quite a bit, especially once I found out I was pregnant. Now, almost 3 years ago I became a mom, and I’m so glad we took that step back then! It was a big change in our lives, but also a beautiful one. And things are going super well with our little girl. Nr2 is on the way now, and I feel much less insecure

The bond you have with your own child goes (far) beyond just 'liking' them - it's something totally different from what you've ever had with anyone else (even with your partner). That's at least my experience. This doesn't mean it's like that from moment 0. Many mothers need to get used to their baby; it's a whole new little person you first have to get to know. There's no reason to worry if you don't have warm and special feelings right after giving birth. But gradually, that develops. And each developmental stage/each age has its own charm. I absolutely cannot imagine not finding my daughter interesting anymore when she's 6

Regarding the other points you mentioned above:
* It's indeed quite weird that something grows in your belly (or rather, someone), especially from the moment you feel the baby move. I often joke about 'ET calling home' when he/she starts kicking around again But it's also very special. After giving birth to my first, I even missed it sometimes; it was suddenly so 'quiet' in there.
* Don't count too much on time for yourself or each other during those hectic early days. Babies especially need a lot of time and attention, and sleeping 8 hours straight is (for now) also a thing of the past. On the other hand, they actually enjoy 'inclusive' attention (i.e. just 'going with the flow' in your own life and activities) just as much as 'exclusive' attention (you focusing entirely on your baby). Everything mom does is exciting and interesting! So definitely include your child in this. It's nice for him/her and handy and cozy for you. I benefited enormously from a baby carrier. With it, you can take a young baby everywhere with you, while he/she always has the most important thing (closeness to you and - if you breastfeed - your breasts) right there. Small babies sleep through everything, so you don't need to avoid that either (though you might want to skip a concert, that's too loud for sensitive baby ears, by the way, even before birth). And you'll get time to read again naturally. It's a cliché, but they grow up so fast (and become more and more independent)!

I never really had any fear when I was expecting a baby.
It was just this really strong feeling for me—it might sound a bit weird, but I had this very strong sense that I needed to have a baby, that it was meant to be, like I already knew her or him, as if the baby itself was telling me it wanted to come. It might sound a bit woo-woo, but it felt so certain.

I never had any fear about whether the baby would be healthy, or any doubts about whether I’d be a good mother. I think you just naturally grow into that role. You change during those 9 months of carrying your baby—your feelings become stronger, and you naturally grow into that maternal feeling.

It’s something completely your own, a part of you, so all of that just comes naturally.

Try to approach it with the belief that everything will be okay.
Because thoughts have power—any fear you turn into positive thoughts and trust will come back to you positively.
And once you’re pregnant, the baby also picks up on your strong trust and your sense of certainty.
The baby takes that on.

That’s why positive thinking is doubly important when you’re pregnant. Try to build that bond with your baby from the start, because your baby absorbs every emotion from their mother.

Greetings, Madelene

@Edith

Yeah, that's right. I've actually been busy with it all day. It's also handy to give birth if it hits on the first try. I think September/October would be nice, but when should you then start?

@madelene

When I see little kids like my cousins, it really starts to tickle me. I think it's absolutely great. When do you know if you're ready for it?

Hi, you never really know for sure when you're ready.
It's important that the desire is there, a strong desire.
And you need to realize that it's a big responsibility and that your life will change a bit.
If you're ready for that and really want to fill your life with a little one, then it's a beautiful start to begin.
I used to hear people say that kids take away your freedom, that you have to give up so much as a woman, your body, your figure.
Back then I thought, I'd gladly do that for a child.
I'd gladly give that up for a child of mine and my man together.
And sure, things change, but you get something beautiful back in return.
Good luck with making your choice.
Greetings, Madelene

I think I'm dealing with some kind of anxiety. I've had this in other situations too, and when I finally made the choice, I felt relieved and had no regrets.

I also consciously chose to stop the pill because we want a child. I definitely made a sacrifice for our baby. You get something beautiful in return. It seems so wonderful to me if we have something that's truly ours together.

Hi Madelene and Hi, I totally get that fear. It really does feel like a huge responsibility. For me, it helped to just stop doubting and give it a try. After the birth, it felt like relief and love, just like Hoi described. That urge to hold onto kids comes up for me more and more these days. How are your plans going?