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Looking so grown up!

10 replies

JoyGuest ·
Oh my, the next few weeks we're going to tell my sister-in-law that I'm pregnant, but I'm really dreading it????
This is because my sister-in-law isn't always the easiest person, and the fact is she hasn't really approved of our relationship from the start.
I'm 10 years older, but anyway, I'm really scared she won't like it and will just say so.
It would be less awkward for me than for my boyfriend.
Have you guys experienced this too?

Replies

  1. Beertje #2

    That's really tough. Sharing the news should be a happy thing. My first instinct was actually to tell them in person or over the phone or something. But yeah, that's not exactly tactful either. Luckily, I don't have any experience with this (thank goodness). Try to stay true to yourself, and make a plan with your partner about what you'll do if there are any nasty comments.

    Wishing you lots of strength!

  2. Joy started this #3

    I'm afraid if we do it over the phone or don't tell her, it's only going to get worse.

    It should indeed be something really nice, though. Right now I'm avoiding her, but that's not good either.
    This week it really has to happen. I've already said that if she says she doesn't like it, that's fine.
    But if she reacts really weirdly, I'll pack my things and we'll leave.
    Although I don't know what my boyfriend would do.
    It is his sister after all, and they always have each other's backs.
    I think he'd stand up for me, but he's not the type to just walk away like that.

  3. Beertje #4

    I would talk to him about what you're going to do. And ask him to support you in this and not back down, because then his sister will have her way.

    How far along are you now?

  4. trotsemama #5

    Hi Joy,

    Maybe have your friend go to his sister and tell her the good news himself. It often goes better when you're not the one delivering the news in situations like this. It's not fun not being able to share it together, but sometimes there's no other way.

    Wishing you all the best!

  5. Ellen #6

    Hi Joy,

    We’ve had something similar happen. In this case, my in-laws think you should get married first and only then are you allowed to live together and have kids. So the fact that we were already living together wasn’t really well received. And now we’re expecting, but still not married.

    So we knew they wouldn’t be very happy about this news... I was still quite naive about it (how can you not be happy about such news?), but my boyfriend was really dreading telling his parents.

    In the end, we (I) told them when they came over for coffee. I just told them as if it were the best news ever! (Because for us, it really is.) And I also gave them an ultrasound picture, just like I did with my own parents.

    My father-in-law’s reaction: 'oh' (and after that, he never said anything about it again)

    My mother-in-law’s reaction: 'Then I hope more good news is coming!'
    She did come around a bit and asked how I was doing. She now says she needs to get used to it because it’s not how they imagined it. She also sometimes asks if everything is okay. (To my sister-in-law she says she still can’t be happy about it.)

    I’m actually quite level-headed about it. If they don’t like it, then so be it. And I still think that once the baby is here, they won’t have a choice but to be happy about it. My boyfriend didn’t speak to his mother for two weeks after telling her. But that has been resolved by now.

    It’s quite a story, and it’s not exactly fun, but it’s not the end of the world either. I hope this helps you a bit.

  6. Joy started this #7

    Yesterday my boyfriend sent his sister a text to see if they were home because we wanted to drop by for some coffee.
    She said yes, but don't you guys need to get the kids to bed on time? No, we have babysitting.
    She sent a message: "I'm going to be an aunt!"
    Then my boyfriend called her and guess what?
    She thinks it's absolutely wonderful. We've been once already and she was even in tears, she thinks it's so beautiful.
    We really didn't expect this. So lovely, this 'nn.

  7. Beertje #8

    Girl, that's amazing!!! So glad it worked out like this!!! I hope this is a good sign for your relationship in the future! Maybe honest and open communication is key. Enjoy it.

  8. Joy started this #9

    I hope so too, but I think it's going to be totally fine. I just had her on the phone.
    Just some nice tips for my nausea and tips for shapewear. I'm really happy and can finally enjoy it properly.

  9. Beertje #10

    Girl, that's so nice! How far along are you now?

  10. Joy started this #11

    Almost 13 weeks????

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