Forum Baby wish

baby on the way, two-bedroom house, and partner finishing their studies

5 replies

krullenbolGuest ·
Hi everyone,

I'm 27 and have had baby fever since this week.
All my friends around me are pregnant and two of them have already given birth. I have to say I didn't have a problem with it and was only happy for them. But now my best friend is pregnant. I'm super happy for her, but I noticed it's hitting me hard too. It feels like the feeling built up all at once. At first I didn't mind, but now I can't think of anything else. I have a steady job and my boyfriend (25) is finishing his studies. He's applied to various job openings and will have an interview soon. At first I really wanted to wait until he has a job and we can buy a bigger house, so we have more security and can offer more to the baby. But suddenly the feeling is so strong that I don't know what to do anymore. If my boyfriend gets a job, I'd most like to try right away to see if it's meant to be for us. But what's sensible? What would you do in our situation? Would love some advice

Replies

  1. Kate #2

    I'd wait until he has a job first. Having a kid now is fun, but think about the future too. Moving and buying a new house cost a lot of money. Also, if you decide to buy, it makes sense to base it on one salary. That way, if one income disappears, you can handle the blow. A child doesn't have to be expensive anyway. The nursery and stroller can easily be bought second-hand.

    We first made sure we were financially ready for a child because we wanted to give it everything it needed. (I mean not just stuff, but also free time, for example.) I went from full-time to working 2.5 days, and childcare etc. Later we decided to stop working because my daughter needed this (she was sick a lot etc.). We could do all of this because we had our finances sorted.

    Write everything down on paper and discuss your situation with your friends. How do they see their future, and what position are they in? Have fun figuring out what you want and how you can achieve it as quickly as possible ;-)

  2. krullenbol started this #3

    hi kate

    thanks for your advice.
    we aren't going to start anyway until my partner has a permanent job. we have enough saved up, so that's luckily not an issue. i'm also not worrying about our house anymore. i hear from all sides that some couples live in small places too. luckily i have a big garden, a big bedroom, and a big hallway where we can store the stroller. the ideal scenario would naturally be a single-family home. we'll start looking for one later this year, provided my partner has a job, of course. i'm not worried about moving either. we have plenty of lovely people around us who are happy to help us out. i actually don't want to ask my female friends because i don't want them to know about our desire for a child. i tell everyone that i'm not having any issues with this yet because i want it to be a surprise by then

  3. krullenbol started this #4

    Wow, that's really tough that your baby was so sick that you had to stop working. Glad that was possible though.

  4. Kate #5

    Sounds like you've already thought it through super well!
    I'd say go for it as soon as that job is confirmed. Maybe you can calculate how much childcare allowance you'll get?

    Fortunately, my husband had a good job back then, and after many nights of crunching the numbers, we could make it work.
    (He still has a good job now, but he's self-employed.)
    We had to tell them quickly because of the vacation with my parents in France, no wine, which raised some eyebrows!! hahaha
    And with the second one, it was exactly 6 weeks pregnant and Christmas! I couldn't have given them a better Christmas gift!!

  5. Kate #6

    I wouldn't worry about your mom... mine wanted 2 kids, and when I said I wanted a third, well, that was a no-go and all that (we're going for number 3 now).

    Well, I had the same thing (drinking and holidays) when I was already pregnant (I was 6 weeks) and then we just told them.
    If you still want to get pregnant, I wouldn't skip a drink, but do it when you're pregnant.
    Just have 1 instead of 3, solved!!!

    When I got to know my husband, we went on holiday 3 times before the kids were born. It doesn't matter! Just do what you want and when you want it ;-)

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