Forum Babbles

A cry for help

8 replies

MaMaGuest ·
My little one is 1 year old and already gives me a really unpleasant feeling often, but mostly a sad and helpless one! I love her so much and she is my everything!! But unfortunately, she has her moments where she just doesn't want anything to do with me... I think there's nothing wrong with her, but she often rejects me. I'm not allowed to feed her, so she often doesn't want to eat. She does this more with me because I'm around her a lot, and sometimes my husband experiences this too. She screams then and bangs her head on the high chair tray or just throws herself on the floor. When I try to pick her up from the floor while she's sitting, she often tries to kick backwards, which is very dangerous on the stone floor. These tantrums happen about three times a day, and she screams really loudly, and I can't calm her down, not even with distractions!

But she often comes to me when she's playing, or when we're visiting someone, she doesn't want to be on the floor and only wants to be on my lap..

I don't question whether something is wrong with her, but how I should deal with this?
Often, people want to take over, like my mother-in-law! "Let me do it," she says, then, as if I'm not doing it right!?

Thanks in advance for your response,

With kind regards

Replies

  1. linn Guest #2

    Hi,
    I understand that this is really worrying you and not nice... For something like this, I'd go to the consultation bureau; they can help you find someone who can assist you with this. It's very normal, don't feel ashamed, and good luck!

  2. Anonymous Guest #3

    I don't have any experience with this, but your story touched me.
    You could indeed start talking about it with the CB, who knows, they might hear this more often or have some tips.
    I think it's absolutely not okay of your mother-in-law to just take over like that. I would try to handle it myself if I were you, unless it becomes too much for you, but I can imagine it doesn't feel good when she conveys it like that, even if her intentions are good.
    Wishing you lots of strength and hopefully your girl will feel better soon.

    Love,

  3. shana Guest #4

    I can imagine how difficult and tough it is. My almost 5-year-old daughter has this too, and the funny thing is, what helps is talking to her as little as possible, just letting her ride out the anger attack. It might sound really weird, but that's what keeps it from getting worse. My sister often helps; she takes her along with her, which takes some pressure off me. Somehow, my sister can reach her. Still, staying calm and talking helps. I often can't manage that; I panic too quickly. But very important: however difficult it seems, try not to let her see that you're getting stressed when she has one of these episodes. And when she's calm, try asking her what's going on with her at that moment. I can totally understand you; my daughter has the same thing.

  4. krista Guest #5

    hi mom
    oh my goodness, what a tough situation
    have you ever tested her for dyes or sugar? Those can also cause hyperactivity and lead to severe tantrums
    or maybe she doesn't handle chaos well? A child can get stressed from that too
    does she maybe need a lot of quiet moments?
    besides, it could also be that she gets too many stimuli from the busyness of the day and has trouble processing it, which then comes out like this
    strength and try not to lose contact with your child
    greetings krista

  5. N. Coppola #6

    Hey Mama,

    My son started doing this too when he turned 1. What I do now when he needs to eat is give him a spoon too; at that age they want to feed themselves! At first I didn't want to because I thought he'd soon have all his food on the walls and floor, but in the end this is the best. Now he eats without the shouting and stuff. Try this out! Don't worry about those tantrums; apparently all kids have them at that age! Good luck and try it, I'm sure it'll help a lot.

    Lots of love

  6. marion Guest #7

    hi mom
    be patient and talk a lot
    often when you explain things and keep your patience
    it's better
    really explain everything
    but not the sentence
    "act normal"
    I hear that a lot around me
    a little child doesn't understand that sentence yet because what is normal for a child?
    what is then expected of them?
    it's better to calmly explain what behavior you'd rather see
    but well your child is still small
    banging her head
    it seems likely that she can't express herself clearly
    and so she's also asking for help to calm down
    because that head banging
    is an unconscious message to you of "help me, I can't explain what I want"
    try to hug her, no matter how crazy it sounds, at that moment
    give her the feeling that you want to help her and take her seriously
    greetings marion

  7. Anonymous Guest #8

    It's so sweet that you're responding like this...

    At times like that, she actually doesn't want to be picked up; she'd rather be completely alone!

    I'll keep an eye on it for now, and in March I'll go back to the office and bring it up if it's not resolved by then! Thanks, girls, and more responses are always welcome..

    Love,

  8. MaMa started this #9

    Sorry, the message above is from me!

Add your reply

Share what helped you, or ask a question.

Sign in to join the conversation.

Continue with Google

Takes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.