Hi ladies, I have a little problem and I thought maybe you could help me with it.

hi ladies, i'll quickly explain the situation in short.
i lived with my partner at my parents' house, and both my daughters were born there.
when i had my second daughter, my oldest was 1 year and 9 months old.
i was breastfeeding then, and because my oldest constantly demanded attention, my mother took care of her.
this way i could feed the baby in peace, and my mother was downstairs on the first floor with my oldest daughter, while my partner and i were upstairs with the baby.
at first i had trouble with it because i heard my oldest calling for mom, but
after a while they got used to my mother.
my mother put her to bed, bathed her, fed her, got up with her in the mornings. i hardly saw my daughter because i was upstairs with the little one.
my mother did this until we moved. my daughter was 4 when we moved.
by the way, my oldest daughter slept in my mother's bed.
when she had the flu, my mother would stay home to take care of her.
and that's how i had all the time for the youngest.
but now it's been a year since we moved, and my oldest daughter, who is almost 5 now, has trouble falling asleep and struggles with the attention her sister gets.
not so surprising, of course, since she always got all the attention from grandma, my mother.
she was never used to waiting for her sister or having to share someone.
she had my mother all to herself, of course.
now the problem is also that i don't know her that well; my mother knows her much better.
i just need to get to know my own daughter and build a bond with her, and that's not easy.
my mother has angelic patience; she's naturally used to my daughter.
and i have little patience.
now my mother came to help from friday to sunday to put my daughter to bed.
this way i could put my youngest daughter, now 3 years old, to bed in peace.
but now my mother lives nearby, fortunately, but is there no other way to get her to sleep?
or will she always cling to my mother?
it's also so sad with me; she fights against me, hits me, and becomes aggressive. i can't connect with her, my own child.
but my mother manages to calm her down and put her to sleep.
because she was naturally used to her all those years.
now my question to you all: is there no other way?
or will she always need my mother?
sorry for the long story.
i couldn't manage to explain this briefly.
greetings, nadine