Baby wish
desire for children
thirzaGuest ·
I'm facing a dilemma and I'm not sure what the best option is. I'm almost 33 and have no children, but I'm starting to feel more and more that I'd really like to have a child if it's meant to be. However, I have some dilemmas.
First, I don't have any family to rely on: no parents, no siblings. So my child will never have a grandpa /grandma, uncle, or aunt on my side. My relationship with my in-laws isn't very good either. I don't expect much interest or help from them, so I think we'd be on our own in that regard.
My husband has a mild form of autism , which is hereditary. So there's a chance our child could have autistic traits, which I find quite difficult to imagine, especially without much support (which I don't expect).
We both don't have stable incomes, but we have savings that I expect will be enough to cover the financial aspects.
As I get older, my biological clock is indeed ticking. I don't know what the best choice is given the circumstances.
Maybe someone has advice or has experienced something similar.
First, I don't have any family to rely on: no parents, no siblings. So my child will never have a grandpa /grandma, uncle, or aunt on my side. My relationship with my in-laws isn't very good either. I don't expect much interest or help from them, so I think we'd be on our own in that regard.
My husband has a mild form of autism , which is hereditary. So there's a chance our child could have autistic traits, which I find quite difficult to imagine, especially without much support (which I don't expect).
We both don't have stable incomes, but we have savings that I expect will be enough to cover the financial aspects.
As I get older, my biological clock is indeed ticking. I don't know what the best choice is given the circumstances.
Maybe someone has advice or has experienced something similar.
Replies
-
doedie #2
Hi Thirza,
Yeah, it's a tough decision, but I'll just go for it. I was pregnant at 16 myself and didn't have much either. Later it turned out my son had autism, or rather Asperger's syndrome, and I got support through Kiestonen and Stichting Mee. And everything is going great with him. It'll probably be tough, but you'll reap the rewards.
Strength with your choice. -
Kate #3
The question you need to ask yourself is: Do I want to have a child with my husband/partner?
If yes, then I would go for it. -
justme #4
Hi Thirza,
First of all, I’m sorry you don’t have anyone to really lean on. But a strong mom can do it on her own
I know from experience—my mom raised us (4 kids) just fine without any real help from anyone.
My two little brothers also have a mild form of autism, and they’re truly wonderful kids. So no, that shouldn’t be a reason not to have children. Unless you’re really unsure yourself—you need to be fully behind it. But I believe that once the child is here and if they do have autism, you’ll naturally figure out how to handle it. You can always ask for help from people who have experience with autistic children.
The income situation is tough, and as long as you have enough to support both yourself and your child without lacking anything, I say go for it! We’re living in difficult times, and finding a job is incredibly hard... I know from experience—I’ve been rejected 10 times in just two weeks.
Ultimately, the choice is yours both, so discuss it well together, weigh the pros and cons, and make a decision.
Good luck! -
thirza started this #5
About a month after opening this topic, I found out I'm pregnant! But it's still very early, about 7 weeks. Next week I'm getting an ultrasound, I hope everything is okay.
Now, my boyfriend received a shirt from his family that says 'I'm going to be a dad'. Normally that would be nice, but I find myself quite irritated and even angry about it. This is because I don't have any family who would give me something like that. That's quite sad. I'm not accepted by my boyfriend's family, so no attention is paid to me. So now I'm really angry about that shirt. Is this realistic or is it the hormones? I've noticed that lately I get very angry very quickly about things. -
justme #6
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Super news, of course.
I can totally understand that you find it annoying and get a bit irritated, and yeah, it could be the hormones.
But try to think of it this way: your husband can't help the fact that you don't have any family to lean on. And it's really tough that his family isn't giving you any attention. But hopefully, that's not really his family's fault.
You could always choose to sit down at the table first with your husband, and then with his family. Talk about it. Tell them you don't feel comfortable getting no attention when you already don't have anyone yourself... Who knows, it might help
And for now: Enjoy your pregnancy, because as I hear so often, it's over before you know it.
Big hugs!! -
justme #7
not to his family, not to him, but to his family. sorry
Add your reply
Share what helped you, or ask a question.
Sign in to join the conversation.
Continue with GoogleTakes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.