How to deal with pregnant people in your immediate circle when you have an intense desire for children

Amy, your story is so relatable.
We've been trying for our first miracle for a year and a half now, with no success so far. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law told us a while ago that they're expecting twins! That was a hard blow. I'm genuinely happy for the girls here on the forum when they get pregnant, but when it's someone in your immediate circle, this news hits hard. It's only human to feel sad and jealous in this situation. I don't have a solution for it myself yet. Try to look at it this way: you don't need to compare yourself to your sister-in-law. You're in a different stage of life right now. Your time will come. Keep talking about it with your partner. That helps a lot too.

Vliendertje, congratulations on your pregnancy! Enjoy it!

Love,
Sophia

P.S. my husband's business went bankrupt last week. I was worried it would affect our desire for a child, but we've decided to go ahead. Amy, I hope your situation changes soon so you can start working on your big dream.

I think it's important to talk about this with your sister. That it's the situation you're having trouble with, but that doesn't change the relationship you and your sister share. Her girls seems like not really a very sociable and effective solution. Once the baby is born, I don't think you want to be the black sheep aunt that they never want to visit.

Wise words from Sophia...
And my advice is pretty close too. I'm an experienced person myself :-s
We've had two miscarriages and have been trying for a while because of that. I can tell you: it helps to accept that you're jealous. That's very normal, but very sad. My partner and I also stopped 'lying' to each other about being happy for someone else. The other week, an acquaintance gave birth to a healthy girl again. Of course I congratulate her! But at home I curse and say: she's so much younger than me, we've been waiting so long, it's our turn! This acceptance (which isn't exactly socially appropriate) is easier to bear.

We also heard a few weeks ago that we're going to be uncle and aunt again. I also lost two nights of sleep over this, with crying spells, stomach pain, etc. But ultimately: for us, this is easier to bear than if a friend gets pregnant: you become an aunt! You get something beautiful back yourself. I know you can't do anything with this right now, but it will come.

And then some advice you REALLY don't want to hear: consider that your sister might also find it very difficult, or does she not know about you two? Because it's not nice if this ruins your relationship with your sister.

I wish you lots of strength. And a baby very soon.

Amy, I totally relate to your story. Not because I have a sister, but because of my friends. In my friend group, everyone is a mom except me. I’m at the age where I should be a mom (33 years old) and I really want it so badly, but it just isn’t happening. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for over a year and a half now, and it’s starting to annoy me that either everyone around me is pregnant or I get those f***ing questions like, “Oh, isn’t it time for you to become a mom yet?” I could wring those people’s necks, and I think to myself, if only they knew how much I want this. Last week, I visited an acquaintance who just had a baby, and I felt so jealous. Everything seems so easy for others, and the grass looks greener. Then I drive home and feel sad and unhappy. I try to talk myself out of it, but I completely understand how awful you feel, especially because you genuinely wish well for others, and that can be really tough too. For me, it feels pretty good to let my heart out here—it’s the first time I’ve done this, but I’ll definitely do it more often!

That's so good that you're letting your heart out!

So relatable indeed. I was recently in Planckendael and noticed almost all the women were either pregnant or with small children. I was in a bad mood all day and couldn't help it. So jealous. You can't fix or ignore a feeling like that. Just grit your teeth

A few months ago, my cousin (22) announced that she’s pregnant with her first child. I didn’t know I could carry such jealous feelings with me.
Especially when we’re all together as a family and she’s proudly showing off her belly...
We really want a baby! I truly hope we’ll get to show off our bump one day too!

Thanks for all your lovely replies.
I've found that accepting that I'm incredibly jealous/was and acknowledging that to the people in my immediate circle has actually helped.
I've been able to talk things through well with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I've noticed that women just understand it better than men. My boyfriend didn't get how deeply you can feel something like that in your soul.

Fortunately, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel; I have a job lined up, and as a preparation, I've stopped the pill today so my body can start clearing it. (We're not trying to conceive yet, we're waiting until the new year.)
We already had our first funny moment. Suddenly, after 10 years, we were buying condoms at the drugstore again like teenagers.
I have to say that now that I have a 'plan', it has given me so much peace of mind.
I hope it works out quickly next year (not just for me, but also for those who helped me in this topic).

I haven't read the rest of the replies yet, so I don't know if what I'm about to say has already been mentioned.

I'm in roughly the same situation, but from the other side. I've had a longing for children for a long time, and I've recently gotten a boyfriend who shares the same vision for our future, which makes waiting even harder for me. Seeing everyone around me pregnant or posting baby photos on Facebook secretly hurts a little bit.

I have an older sister who also wants children, and most of her friends are already settled with little ones, while she isn't yet. Our bond isn't very strong to begin with, and I'm really afraid of her reaction when the time comes.

Hopefully, it won't be too long before I get my own little house, tree, and pet... Well, as the younger sister, I'd be the first. I'd really prefer it if my sister would be honest about it so we could talk about it. As I said, our relationship isn't great, and our conversations usually end in arguments. But I'd rather hear the truth, because you'll notice eventually anyway, and that wouldn't feel good for the pregnant person.

I hope I could help you a little with this.

I've had a huge baby fever for a while now. I'm single, so pregnancy isn't in the near future. The emotions run so high that recently I was standing in line at the bank and almost started crying when I saw a baby. Now there are babies, pregnancies, and people trying in my circle. Although I'm quite jealous, I genuinely wish them the best and have no negative feelings about it. On the contrary. I enjoy it with them and feel involved. I don't blame them at all. I wouldn't think that was healthy either...