Forum Pregnancy tests, ovulation and ovulation tests

Pregnant and not knowing what to do.

12 replies

desh
Hi.

I'll introduce myself quickly: I'm an 18-year-old girl, turning 19 next month. I don't live at home anymore; I was kicked out by my mom and now live with some really good acquaintances of mine. I have a lovely boyfriend. My period was supposed to come back on September 10th, but it didn't. I took a pregnancy test yesterday, and it turns out I'm pregnant. Of course, we're over the moon and couldn't be happier that a baby is on the way, and it's definitely not our intention to have an abortion!

However, we do have a few problems:

1. We both still live at home, so we don't have our own place, and neither of us has a job, so there's no income.
2. Due to the bad relationship with my mom and things not always going well between us, she hasn't paid for my health insurance since I turned 18, which means I now have quite a bit of debt with my insurer.
3. We don't have friends or family who want or can help us, so we're completely on our own.

I'm going to call my GP on Monday to let them know I'm pregnant. I don't know exactly how far along I am yet, and I want to make it clear that I don't want to have an abortion; I have my reasons for that. I know it might be "better" in some ways, but I just can't bring myself to do it. For my own good reasons, I'm not having an abortion, so that's not an option.

Who can help us, give us tips, etc.? Since we don't have money for a place of our own, baby gear, baby food, etc.

Kisses from a mom who doesn't know what to do anymore!

Replies

  1. desh started this #2

    Thank you for your reply. I'll definitely throw everything on the table with the midwife, and yes, I live in the Netherlands

    The problem is also that before I give birth, I have to move out of this house because they can't help us.

  2. desh started this #3

    Hi Crumb.

    Yeah, the acquaintances already know, and no, they won't help with the baby because they want me to move out before I give birth. That's the worst part, and the stress and uncertainty are really starting to get to me. I can't really enjoy my pregnancy because I cry all day long, every day. My partner supports me keeping the baby; we decided together because we absolutely don't want to give up our lives. We're no longer studying; we're applying for jobs constantly every day. My partner is working on it, and luckily, he's a bit further along than I am. I'm just completely lost right now.

    Love

  3. kruimel #4

    Oh my, what a tough situation you're in. I know how hard it is to job hunt while pregnant. And being pregnant doesn't exactly help either.

    I'd really love to help you, but unfortunately, there's nothing I can do.
    Maybe you could check with the local housing association to see if you might get priority for an apartment/flat?
    Hopefully, your partner will find a job and you'll have at least some financial security.

    I also want to say that I think it's super brave of you to decide to keep the baby. Respect!! I hope things work out for you!

    xxKruimel

  4. desh started this #5

    I hope everything turns out okay. I'm doing my best, but I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere.

    Love

  5. mamiangela #6

    Hey girl

    Your situation feels so familiar, I was in the same spot 10 years ago.
    But girl, it all worked out fine in the end!
    Where there's a will, there's a way.
    Since you don't have money or a job right now, you can always try applying for benefits here in the NL; you can do that together with your boyfriend.
    That way you can get by for a bit until you find work.

    Getting a place is tough, you don't get priority quickly, but through HA it is possible.

    And for baby stuff and such, there's a site where you can get items. I'll ask about it for you, I don't remember the name off the top of my head anymore, but they give out baby gear and clothes.

    Best, Angela

  6. desh started this #7

    Hi Angela,

    I'm going to the HA on Monday and I'll just lay everything out on the table, and then we'll see what she has to say. It's nice that you're willing to check where they give away freebies, because I've been looking for them too but can't find anything.

    Love,

  7. desh started this #8

    Thank you so much, MavanMi.

    I've just written down a few things that are most important to take care of, and then some less important stuff. I'm trying to sort it all out, but I find it quite hard to do it alone. I hope I'll figure it out.

    Love,

  8. * #9

    @Desh,

    You're welcome! Don't give up, and you're not alone in this..

    Love, MavanMi

  9. desh started this #10

    Thank you, proud mama!

    I'm glad I can talk to people like you, I'll definitely keep you updated on everything!

    Love

  10. strikje86 #11

    Hi Desh! Congratulations on your pregnancy. You're in a tough spot, but your baby will grow up no matter what.
    Another thing you could do is search for groups on Facebook.
    For example, I live in Enschede and they have a free giveaway section. You could look for something similar in your own area on Facebook and post a request asking if anyone has items to give away. People are often very willing to help!!!
    Wishing you lots of success!!!

  11. hartje #12

    Lots of strength in this situation.. I'm also very grateful that my mom and dad want to help us.. hopefully the bond with your mom will come back.

    How many weeks are you?

    Love ?

  12. Roos #13

    Hi Desh,

    That's a tough situation, girl. Congratulations, but also lots of strength to you both!

    General Social Work (AMW) can help you get things in order together with you regarding debts, housing, etc. They're experts in this area, and you can also go there just to share your story.

    Love, Roos

Add your reply

Share what helped you, or ask a question.

Sign in to join the conversation.

Continue with Google

Takes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.