Forum Babbles

15 months and energetic

37 replies · page 2 of 2

Replies

Page 2 of 2

  1. donna Guest #21

    I accidentally left some sentences unfinished because I was typing on my phone.

  2. rianne Guest #22

    I think it's better to be strict than to hit or yell.

  3. rianne Guest #23

    I usually punish myself with the reason to protect myself so I don't get so angry that I hit my daughter.

  4. donna Guest #24

    What I really mean to ask is, what goes on before your child gets such a tantrum? You know, kids at that age often can't clearly express what they want or need, so they show it by being upset. They assume you automatically know what they mean. So it's less about teaching norms or values and more about figuring out why their behavior changes at that moment.

  5. donna Guest #25

    and they get what they need at that moment, so the behavior often changes too. I once got a book from my mom called "Listen to Your Child," which was about the causes behind tantrums. Very interesting book, really eye-opening.

  6. viena Guest #26

    It’s like she’s a bit like my kids. I have 2 children, 2 daughters, Lamijra and Renate. Lamijra is the oldest, she’s 3, and Renate is 2. She’s so incredibly unbearable when I’m busy with her sister. I find it unbelievable, but when Renate goes to stay at grandma’s (my mother), Lamijra is a super calm and sweet child. But as soon as Renate comes back from grandma’s, Lamijra starts up again, she turns 80 degrees, changes into a nasty kid who you really can’t stand. She hits, bites, throws things, slams the door. It hurts me to see how she changes when her sister comes back.

  7. viena Guest #27

    When I start with Renate, Lamijra wants to bite her. I always cuddle them in turns so I give them one-on-one attention. It's truly awful. At first, I didn't realize where Lamijra's tantrums came from. I really started getting annoyed at how ugly Lamijra was being with Renate. But then I realized how jealous Lamijra got when my attention went to Renate, and especially how sad she became when I cuddled Renate. I used to punish her first, but it only got worse. Until I realized that the punishment wasn't right. She wasn't being difficult on purpose; she was jealous, and a different approach was needed. I should give her more attention, and that's when I became aware of it.

  8. viena Guest #28

    Sorry, I meant to become aware of that there.

  9. viena Guest #29

    I wrote too fast.

  10. regina Guest #30

    That's exactly why I have a 6-year gap between my kids. They got all the attention they deserved, and for 6 years, the older one hated being the mom's legs. It seems awful to have such little difference between your kids, both for yourself and for your daughters.

  11. viena Guest #31

    It hurts me inside because I thought it would be nice to have a little sister or brother for her. I often feel guilty about this, especially when I see how sweet and exemplary she is, like when her sister is with grandma. So, if she had been an only child, she could have had all my attention and would have been a much happier child. If I could do it over again, even though I'm so happy with Renate, I would have waited at least eight years.

  12. viena Guest #32

    Sorry for my way too long story, but I just had to get it off my chest. I mean, in this case, punishment wasn't the solution, but rather giving more attention. And that has nothing to do with norms and values either. My daughter was trying to tell me something, but she did it in the wrong way.

  13. viena Guest #33

    Sorry for my way too long story, but I just had to get it off my chest. I just want to say that in this case, punishment wasn't the solution; it was about giving her more attention and focusing more on my little girl. And that has nothing to do with teaching norms and values, because she actually knows very well what neat and messy behavior is. But she acted out of a jealous, sad emotion, which translated into aggressive behavior. She was trying to get my attention, but in the wrong way. I reacted in the moment, and I kind of overlooked everything, too. Also from Dreamer. Greetings, Viena

  14. Anonymous Guest #34

    Here’s the person who started the topic again.

    I just want to make sure it’s clear that this is definitely not due to a lack of love or attention.
    I really enjoy having all the time for my little boy. Our motto at home is “you grow up with love and kisses.”

    Maybe I’m coming across wrong, but I get the feeling I’m being seen as a bad mom, while I’m actually just asking for advice.

    By the way, the cravings are over.

  15. Anonymous Guest #35

    By the way, we try to focus as much as possible on the positive at home rather than the negative.

  16. donna Guest #36

    hi anon i read your post i just want to clear something up it was never my intention to see you as a bad mother i don't mean that at all i see this a lot around me and in my job i'm a family social worker and unfortunately i often see that this is the cause but that certainly doesn't have to be the case with you i guess i'm talking too much from a professional perspective sorry if i gave you the impression that you're a bad mother it's nice to read that things are better now and you expressed it so beautifully our motto at home is "with kisses and love you grow up" beautifully written wish you all the best with your little family and i hope i've set this right a bit hugs donna

  17. Anonymous Guest #37

    Thanks for your reply!!!

    That's really nice. The reason I asked for advice was indeed because you mentioned that you shape your children now. And then I sometimes find it hard to think about what's best for the future. He needs to know what is and isn't allowed, because that's very important. Parenting is constantly discussing with yourself and your partner what's best and which approach works best depending on the situation. And advice is always welcome, which is why we asked. We want the best for him, just like other parents. It's important that he grows and learns from us and doesn't get damaged. And I'm sure he'll grow up with lots of love.

    He's a sweet, caring little guy, a bit mischievous at times, but that's okay.

    Thanks!

  18. Anonymous Guest #38

    I do get why you'd think that if you experience something different at work.

    Thanks, and wishing you all the best of luck and love for your little family.

Add your reply

Share what helped you, or ask a question.

Sign in to join the conversation.

Continue with Google

Takes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.