Babbles
depressive ??
AnonymousGuest ·
Hi everyone! I've been active on this forum for a while and have an account, but I prefer to write this anonymously because I feel so ashamed.
I had a very stressful pregnancy and a difficult birth 7 months ago. I got a lot of misunderstanding from people. And in the first weeks, I had a pretty crybaby (sometimes crying for 8/12 hours straight). Now everything is going well with the little one and he hardly cries anymore. But somehow, things are getting worse for me. Sometimes I explode because he cries a bit, and then I cry all day because I feel so guilty and like a bad mother. If a toy of the little one is on the floor, I can't leave it there because if I do, I keep imagining that I'll trip over it while holding my son and that he'll fall to the ground. Sometimes I also dream that something is wrong with him; recently I dreamed that his leg fell off. I also have the feeling all day that my husband is cheating, even though that's not even possible since he's home a lot and would call or text me otherwise. When someone else holds my son, I'm afraid they'll drop him, or if my husband is away with our son for 5 minutes, I'm afraid they won't come back. I'm always afraid and insecure (about my body or whether I'm a good mother/woman). I have no energy for anything; everything that used to take me 10 minutes now takes 2 hours. I get angry at everything. I don't understand why I feel this way; I have a super baby and a super husband. I love my son so much and feel so guilty and bad that I'm not the happy, fun mom everyone thinks I am. I'm disgusted with myself for feeling this way; I'm supposed to be the happiest woman in the world. I don't know what to do anymore, and I have a headache all day because of everything. Does anyone have a tip or something? Thanks.
I had a very stressful pregnancy and a difficult birth 7 months ago. I got a lot of misunderstanding from people. And in the first weeks, I had a pretty crybaby (sometimes crying for 8/12 hours straight). Now everything is going well with the little one and he hardly cries anymore. But somehow, things are getting worse for me. Sometimes I explode because he cries a bit, and then I cry all day because I feel so guilty and like a bad mother. If a toy of the little one is on the floor, I can't leave it there because if I do, I keep imagining that I'll trip over it while holding my son and that he'll fall to the ground. Sometimes I also dream that something is wrong with him; recently I dreamed that his leg fell off. I also have the feeling all day that my husband is cheating, even though that's not even possible since he's home a lot and would call or text me otherwise. When someone else holds my son, I'm afraid they'll drop him, or if my husband is away with our son for 5 minutes, I'm afraid they won't come back. I'm always afraid and insecure (about my body or whether I'm a good mother/woman). I have no energy for anything; everything that used to take me 10 minutes now takes 2 hours. I get angry at everything. I don't understand why I feel this way; I have a super baby and a super husband. I love my son so much and feel so guilty and bad that I'm not the happy, fun mom everyone thinks I am. I'm disgusted with myself for feeling this way; I'm supposed to be the happiest woman in the world. I don't know what to do anymore, and I have a headache all day because of everything. Does anyone have a tip or something? Thanks.
Replies
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M #2
The only thing I can say to you is that it might be a really good idea to go see your GP and share your story. That way, he can find the right help for you and get you out of this.
I have to tell you that everyone thinks that having a baby always makes you happy, but as you've found out, reality is very different. People only see a snapshot of your situation. So don't feel guilty about that at all. You've just had a really tough start because your baby was crying so much...
Wishing you lots of success and strength, and you absolutely don't need to feel ashamed!!!
Love, mamavan2 -
Iza #3
Talk to your midwife or GP and look for a psychologist you can talk to. I also went around for 14 months with the feeling that 'this will go away on its own', but it didn't. It could be a hormonal imbalance or a depression due to all the stress you've experienced. Please don't carry this around any longer, because it's such a pity to let this time pass you by and not be able to enjoy it.
Wishing you lots of strength, and if you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a message
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Anke Guest #4
Hi anonymous,
You can't help how you're feeling right now, not at all, and it will pass again! It's also not your fault. After or during your pregnancy, a lot happens with your hormones, and that's what makes you feel this way.
What is a good idea is to do something about it. Your GP is a good start. They can prescribe a mild form of antidepressants. This works well for many women, but there are also downsides (you're tied to it for at least 7 months!).
A good psychologist you click with can also help a lot. Your GP can refer you.
St. John's Wort, available everywhere, can have a positive effect on some women.
Exercise (walking, swimming) and healthy eating will also help you get over it faster.
Talk about it with your partner and your family and your partner! Their support in this is also very important to help you feel better sooner. Maybe they don't quite understand what's going on inside you. Then have them look up information on postpartum depression themselves; often, that's when the lightbulb goes on.
Good luck!
Anke
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