My mother-in-law is manipulative.

Hey Karen,
you're not the only one!
I've been on this forum for a while now and I've seen this topic come up so many times!!
So many women have this exact same problem.
Me too.
I went through a lot with her, until she even said I shouldn't take any kids from her son because she would do everything in her power to destroy me!
What a motherly love, right?
When you see your child is happy with someone, why would you want to ruin that??
One difference, my husband and I talked this through and he stands by me,
but in turn, I won't speak negatively about her.
(Now there's a fight between them, and I'm NOT getting involved, I just listen to him.)

I did learn something from it and it might sound weird
but you're not obligated to like her and she's not obligated to like you either.
She does have a duty to respect and accept you as the one who makes her son happy.
The fact that she paints your parents black shows she doesn't do that. She's crossing the line!

But it's your man's job to make sure you're defended!
He didn't do what he should have.
He shouldn't let his mother's opinion come before yours,
it's his duty to protect you, so if I were you I'd talk to him and tell him that you heard everything and were hurt.
Make sure not to show her that she hurt you, if she's truly false she'll gladly take advantage of that, then she knows your weak spot!!

It's not easy but you have much more to gain from your man standing by you than insincere apologies from a mother-in-law who doesn't like you anyway!
Stay strong girl!

(Good agreements before you start having kids!)

I've started this topic here many times before. My MIL has been really mean ever since the day she met me. I did my best for 1.5 years to play the perfect daughter-in-law, which made me lose myself. And in the end, it didn't help because she ruined all the important days in my life (wedding day, last day of my pregnancy). I held out for a long time and there was a lot of talking. In most cases, talking is indeed the best solution. But it didn't work for me. Until she changes or at least pretends to like me, she's not welcome in my house anymore. I don't go there anymore, and neither does our son. My husband still goes, and I won't stop him. He hopes she'll change, but he's starting to realize that's not going to happen. Good luck, I know how hard it is. Love!

What I’m mostly afraid of is that she’ll come between my partner and me. I don’t want her to stir up trouble...

And it’s just so sad that I can’t handle her the way I do with my own parents. I always have to think twice before I say anything, and usually I don’t say what I really think at all—I just keep my mouth shut. Whereas with my parents I can say whatever I want...

The relationship and the feeling are different too. And I see that it’s the same for my partner. Even he doesn’t get any affection from her, or they’ll never say he’s doing a good job. Always negative... And that’s sad for him; he sees how good things are with my parents, but he doesn’t have that! That’s really a pity.

Even worse that my mother-in-law doesn’t see this herself :s

I’m dealing with this too. My boyfriend and I are both over 27, and his mom tries to treat us like little kids. She acts like she’s giving us good advice, but everything she does is negative, and she says things as if her only goal is to make us depressed. My mom is super sweet to my boyfriend and always defends him against me. His mom yells at him and me. She’s a thief herself and steals money from him. He wanted no more contact with her, but strangely enough, I was the one who convinced him that she’s still his mom and that he has to keep loving her. I felt terrible if he would cut off his mom. I felt sorry for her, and now I regret it. Not long after that, she lost her house and moved in with us, and what a mess it is now. She’s even worse than before and always screams; nothing positive comes out of her mouth. By the way, she’s been fighting against me from the very beginning, and now I’m pregnant, and oh my god, she seems to want to hurt me and my boyfriend. If she had the chance, I suspect she’d try to force an abortion on us. My family cheers us on, while his family always bothered us and kept asking when we’d finally have a baby, especially his dad, who always asked me when I’d make him a grandpa. Only his mom stood in the way and still tries to get in our way. I just don’t know how to deal with her negativity. This person has had a hateful life and hasn’t been very successful, and she’s trying to prevent us from having a happy life. Not that I say these words to her or my boyfriend. Any advice on how to keep my head together for the sake of a healthy pregnancy?

Karen, I don't think you should tell your parents. It's not necessary anywhere, it just creates resentment and hatred. Just try to take that woman with a grain of salt and only face family days, and keep it up to yourself to act normal. And further, she's just air to you. And don't take anything she says seriously and let her talk nonsense. Fortunately, you do have a family that supports you. And regarding your boyfriend, you should support him at all times!
Kaila, if you want your pregnancy to go well and relaxed, you really need to kick the mother-in-law out. You don't want someone like that around you. And I would confront her with why she has to leave the house. She's an adult and old enough to sort things out herself.

I'm now divorcing her son. She gets her way. He never supported me, so I'm choosing myself. We have two beautiful daughters who realize that grandma is a witch and dad is a wimp, even though they love him. Too bad, it could have been different.

I'm about to end my beautiful relationship because of my mother-in-law. After 3 years, the bucket is full, and the fact that she'd rather be without our baby (I'm now 4 months pregnant) than rich (literally) is what tipped the scales. My partner doesn't know yet that I've made this decision. This is the first time I've dared to say it "out loud."

Hi ladies,

Unfortunately, this happens quite often.

@Opgever, if your relationship with your boyfriend is beautiful and good, I wouldn't end it. Deliberately show how happy you are with your boyfriend and unfortunately just act hypocritical towards her. You don't need to visit her; your boyfriend can always go, and when she comes to you, greet her politely with a cup of tea, after which you don't need to talk to her. You need to show her that she can't come between you. Live your own life with your little family and keep her at a distance, dear.

Dear mamaN,

Your message touched me deeply. Goodness, this really gets to me, but I'm so glad you replied! You're right, I'm happy with us and our baby, and she doesn't have to want it all right now... maybe I won't want it either later on. I've discussed this with my partner, and I wasn't expecting his reaction—he completely agrees with me, and if not now, then definitely not later. Our life!!

Strength to you with your "evil mother-in-law" situation. I think of you every time I'm confronted with mine.

Lots of love

That's good to hear, OP!!
Enjoy your pregnancy and your little family, and don't let anyone ruin it. Make sure you're always on the same page so she can try what she wants but doesn't interfere! It's great that he feels the same way! You'll figure it out. And if you need someone to listen, I'm here.

Love

So don't walk away from your partner. He's in a tough spot too. Having two women you care about is not easy! She'll keep pushing until she gets her way... You don't want to let her win, do you? Then she'll get her way and will naturally try it again next time. They know damn well that their sons secretly support them, and they take full advantage of that. No woman is good enough on her own; it's always the mothers themselves. Everything has to go the way they did it with their own kids back in the day. If it doesn't go the way they'd like, they'll make that clear. It's better to speak through your partner.